[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

So going around the lab lately I have been hearing a great deal of chit-chat about the supposed short-comings of Christine O'Donnell, God's choice for the next Senator from Delaware. Clearly the lame-stream media is quickly trying to denigrate her and make her look far less capable than she is. This post is to try to give you some talking points to stand up to those fact-obsessed liberals that are trying to tear down not only her, but also Jesus and the Tea Party movement.

Myth 1: Christine O'Donnell is a woman in a man's world and should settle down with the nearest Godly man.
While God's ultimate plan may be for a woman to have a man, we must remember that in very rare cases, such as Ruth in the Bible, Ann Coulter on Fox News and Sarah Palin, God chooses to use the weaker and more error-prone gender to teach the nincompoops a lesson. While this is often mis-cited by liberals, True Christians™ know when to use these examples of women leading men.

Myth 2: Christine O'Donnell has been shown to violate federal rules about how to handle money, yet still continues to run partially on the idea that she will show the Federal Government how to manage its money. Additionally, she continues to owe money to former staffers and campaign help from several years ago.
What people fail to realize is that Christine O'Donnell has been kind enough to spend more of her money than she can afford to be able to help our COUNTRY spend its money responsibly. What liberals don't realize is that it's not what Republican politicians do that makes them worthwhile candidates, it's what they espouse. I don't know how to make that any clearer. For all the blather that RINOs (Republicans in Name Only) spout about how they are going to lower the deficit and have a balanced budget, have they done it? NO! Christine O'Donnell will! As to the second point, when China decides to call in its several trillion dollar note, wouldn't you rather have a candidate in place who has experience in dodging debt-collectors than someone who has always paid their bills on time? I know I would!

Myth 3: Christine O'Donnell is me.
In some sort of religious mix-up, people seem to get the wrong idea that Christine O'Donnell is somehow becoming more and more people each day. Personally I don't understand her choice to broadcast this confusing message, but I do understand that people are concerned about it. Christine O'Donnell is not switching identities or stealing anyone's mail. She is simply trying to state that she has the same exact goals as those of us who still can't balance a checkbook in our late 20s to mid 40s. She is the same person as those who have claimed to hold an advanced degree from an Ivy League school when 'reality' states that we never were enrolled. She is no "liberal elitist" who *actually* attended an Ivy League school. She isn't so elite as to pretend to "live within her means". She is a proud American, spending more than she makes with the simple goal of attaining the American Dream: to be rich for Some Reason. She isn't in it for the power or the money. She is in this so that you & I don't have to suffer through a high-paying part time job in Washington, DC. She is sacrificing her non-existent family life so that True Americans can stay home, not paying their bills, not having children, DEFINITELY not engaging in self-abuse. She is a true American hero, a real icon that we can point at and tell our daughters: "One day, Betty, if you disappoint God so much that He chooses to leave you barren, family-less, deeply in debt with few friends and fewer family, God can still use you. That's how much He loves you".

Praise Jesus! Please feel free to add to this with points that you may have heard from your office, laboratory or unemployment office line.