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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
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Default Re: Today in Christ - 11-07-2014, 06:24 PM

November 7.

Year 2000.

JESUS
IS IN
ECSTASY!

Election day. Godly America is choosing a leader for the Free World, a Leader to walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ brandishing the Armor of God against all kinds of enemies, of which lieberals, sodomites and ecologists are the nastiest.

Election day. It's not going too well for Jesus. The lieberals are gaining the majority of the popular vote. Jesus intervenes. He no longer tolerates the descent of Godly America into the cesspit of tolerance. A slight push into the right direction and Florida submits to Jesus. The world has seen only a few Great Godly Leaders. We have Moses, King David, Ronald Reagan. It's time for another.



Isaiah 55:4-5
Behold, I have given him [for] a witness to the people, a leader and commander to the people. Behold, thou shalt call a nation [that] thou knowest not, and nations [that] knew not thee shall run unto thee because of the LORD thy God, and for the Holy One of Israel; for he hath glorified thee.

An average leaders consults lawyers, experts, generals. A Real Leader consults Jesus.



November 7. Oh, joy! Jesus will celebrate this day into eternity.



Proverbs 16:9
A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Today in Christ - 12-04-2014, 12:24 PM

It is December 4. A day of some nice deaths. While Jesus weeps constantly about the deprived state of mankind, we can assume that a sardonic smile lightens up his Sweet Face when a vile sinner finally dies and joins the chorus of hellbound lost souls for Eternity.

4 December 771.
The King of Australia Carloman I dies and, as a consequence, the western world sees its first emperor for several centuries: Charlemagne. A catholic... Basically, this meant that the oppressive power of cat lickism over Christians strengthened for centuries to come and all decency was hidden behind the lustful glare of cat lick priests coveting for new catamites.


Charlemagne looks up to Jesus with a despising look. Nowadays he spends his days (for Eternity) in anguish in Hell.

But it gets better. Nice deaths!

4 December 1976. Death of the British homercomposer Benjamin Britten, the author of the gay opera Peter's Crimes that tells the story of a homermarriage between a fisherman (a sordid unforgivable pun about Jesus, the Fisher of Men) and an underage young boy. Mr. Britten joins Charlemagne in Hell
Matthew 18:6
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.



Britten's opera at its pivotal moment anticipating sodomy. Mr. Britten is currently in Hell.

4 December 1993. Deathday* of one of Jesus' principal enemies, Frank Zappa, a wannabe savior and unbeliever. He joins Charlemagne and Mr. Britten in Hell.
Deuteronomy 29:17
And ye have seen their abominations, and their idols, wood and stone, silver and gold, which were among them



Mr. Zappa wanted to be Jesus. He is at them moment in Hell.

4 December 2007. An obese Hamite rapper Pimp C, author of the record Pimpalation, meets his death due to an overdose of promethazine and codeine descending into Hell to keep company for Charlemagne, Mr. Britten and Mr. Zappa.


Well, I gotta tell that Pimp C's rhyming in HELL.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

*Lately, as the End of Days approaches, I've begun to spend more time contemplating Eternity and my future endeavors in Heaven. What hobbies to have (I'll take up woodwork)? Should I take up and study an instrument (oboe?)? Would it be interesting to solve the problem of prime numbers, etc.? In addition, it is time to ponder about festivities and holidays. Here on Earth it is nice to celebrate a birthday but I'm beginning to be convinced that a Deathday Party would be more fitting in Heaven. After all, it is the Deathday that is the glorious day when we meet Jesus face to face. I've decided on quite a traditional Deathday celebration: cake, candles, lots of presents, cold beverages, some party games, perhaps a pinata. The cake will be a glorious sight after the first couple of millenia with all the thousands of candles illuminating the face of Jesus as He cuts the cake and serves me some of it (He might have baked it, as well). Brethren, it is time to think about these issues. The rapture is nigh! Oh, joy! Praise God and Jesus. Glory!


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
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Default Re: Today in Christ - 01-12-2015, 12:39 PM

January 12...

...
is quite an interesting date for Jesus. As the main function of Jesus is to sort out the fate of souls into Heaven (occasionally) or Hell (most of the time), He is principally interested in people and less keen on events. January 12 has provided our Savior some relaxed and easy tasks regarding the fate of sinners, but He has also observed some interesting cases requiring more contemplation.

Let us start with an easy case: a Hellbound atheist pagan scum. January 12 1876 was the birthday of Jack London, one of the most disgusting authors ever to have trod on the face of the earth, He was an atheist. He considered men to be related to mosquitoes as evidenced by this quote: "I believe that when I am dead, I am dead. I believe that with my death I am just as much obliterated as the last mosquito you and I squashed."

John 3:18
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Mr. London, an atheist in Hell. Glory!

Mr. London was also a racist and a socialist and an "animal-rights" left-wing activist, but of course the atheism alone would have been enough to send Him into Hell in 1916. He wrote quite a few books of deplorable quality. Among these the most infamous are probably "The She Wolf", "The Iron Heel" (about shoe fetishes I presume but I certainly am not going to read it) and "Before Adam" (there was only God and Jesus and Holy Ghost during that time for your information).

Another easy decision. An uppity woman writer Agatha Christie met her Creator on January 12, 1976. Her principal sin was adultery, abandoning her husband during her infamous 1926 "disappearance".

Jeremiah 3:9
And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.

Mrs. Christie, the harlot in Hell. Adultery did not do good to her complexion and composure.

In addition to harlotry, Mrs. Christie was a spiritualist who worshiped evil demons and used the knowledge she had thus gathered as raw material for her fiction (I have not read any and I am proud of that). She also openly discarded all belief in the unchanging God in a quote as follows: "If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody."

Easy cases, routine for Jesus. However, January 12 1893 saw the birth of Mr. Hermann Göring, a tough case. When he died in 1946 by his own hand (but there is some controversy about that, see below), there was a window of opportunity for him between the taking of the poison and actual death that was more than enough for thorough repentance, acceptance of Christ and Spiritual Rebirth as a True Christian™.

Luke 15:7
I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

Mr. Göring at the age of 14.

Oh, boy! If someone needed repentance it was Mr. Göring. We must admit that he was a mass-murderer and a morphin addict that during the last moments of his life probably mistook the cyanide for morphine leading to his premature death. He also received many honors from ungodly nations, the worst of which was the Swiss decoration "Commander Grand Cross of the Order of the Sword of Sweden".

Only Jesus knows where Mr. Göring is currently residing. Some nice quotes by Göring, however, seem to make the alternative of Heaven more likely as suggested by this gentle utterance: "I am a man who is basically opposed to atrocities or ungentlemanly actions." As True Christians™ we must hope for the salvation of everybody and live in the expectation of meeting also Mr. Göring in Heaven. If he got there, we can be absolutely sure that based on Luke 15:7 he would be one of the most cherished companions of Christ. Jesus is righteous in His Judgment. Praise Him!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Today in Christ - 01-13-2015, 06:06 AM

Quote:
As True Christians™ we must hope for the salvation of everybody and live in the expectation of meeting also Mr. Göring in Heaven. If he got there, we can be absolutely sure that based on Luke 15:7 he would be one of the most cherished companions of Christ. Jesus is righteous in His Judgment.
Brother Elmer, I feel in my heart that Mr. Göring repented and is now at Christ's right hand helping Him keep strict order. I don't think God would let such talent go to waste.

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Default Re: Today in Christ - 11-05-2015, 05:58 PM

My oh my, how quickly November 5th comes around again!

We have our usual papal effigy on top of the bonfire, but this year the good people of Lewes, a town which traditionally celebrates in some style, have chosen instead to burn our country's President, a Mr Cameron.



Mr Cameron (whose catchphrase is "Call me Dave") has been in the press a lot of late in connection with certain unsavory goings-on during his youth. These included inserting a part of his anatomy best not mentioned on these Godly forums into a dead pig. Nobody knows why, but it is probably some Church of England thing. It is confusion indeed.

Leviticus 18:23


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Today in Christ - 11-07-2015, 09:13 PM

Oh my sister, I feel pity for all the unsaved souls that reject Jesus and will go straight to Hell. Mr. Cameron will be on the receiving end like the pig, when Satan and all his minions start punishing him!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Today in Christ - 05-28-2016, 12:19 AM

1564
John Calvin, one of the dominant figures of the Protestant Reformation, dies in Geneva.



"Their [the Jews] rotten and unbending
stiffneckedness deserves that they be oppressed
unendingly and without measure or end and that they
die in their misery without the pity of anyone."

1647
Achsah Young, first woman in the American Colonies to be identified as a Witch is executed in Massachusetts. She is still burning in Hell today.
When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.
There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.
Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord: and because of these abominations the Lord thy God doth drive them out from before thee.
Deuteronomy 18:9–12
God takes witchcraft very seriously. God's Righteous Penalty for practicing witchcraft is death (Exodus 22:18; Leviticus 20:27). Today, this has become rather fashionable for fat, ugly, lonely American women. Amusingly enough, while there are many websites and books claiming to teach what Wiccans truly believe, the fact is, there exists no consensus among Wiccans about its very fundamentals.



1703
St. Petersburg was founded by Czar Peter the Great.

1896
Jesus, fed up with sinners in St. Louis and East St. Louis, Illinois, hurls a tornado from the Heavens, smiting 255 people. May they rot in Hell.



1907
Sending an early warning to the Sodomites of California, Jesus strikes San Francisco with the Bubonic Plague.

1941
The German battleship Bismarck is sunk by British naval and air forces off the coast of France, resulting in the death and imminent damnation of 2,300 German souls.

1969
Not content to offend Jesus and corrupt Americans with one amusement park, construction begins on Walt Disney World in Florida.



Gays doing gay things with the permission
of Walt Disney, who sought only to
corrupt our youth.

1999
The international war crimes tribunal indicts Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic for war atrocities and crimes against humanity.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Today in Christ - 05-31-2016, 07:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post

1999
The international war crimes tribunal indicts Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic for war atrocities and crimes against humanity.
Brother Milosevic, the Donald Trump of Yugoslavia, should instead have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for bravely fighting Islam and preventing what could potentially become the creation of a mooselimb caliphate in the Balkans.
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Default Re: Today in Christ - 03-31-2017, 06:57 PM

Today marks the anniversary of the Alhambra Decree (also known as the Edict of Expulsion), an edict issued on this day, March 31 1492, ordering the Jews, the Mexicans of Spain, to leave.

The Catholic church kept this edict up until pressure by liberal Catholics were emboldened following the Second Vatican Council, 1968. Now Spain is the godless Mexico of Europe, half Catholic, half pagan, all spiritually walking dead.

Let us pray that God blesses our Expulsion Wall and that our Mexicans don't come back half a millennium later.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Today in Christ - 04-02-2017, 11:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Today marks the anniversary of the Alhambra Decree (also known as the Edict of Expulsion), an edict issued on this day, March 31 1492, ordering the Jews, the Mexicans of Spain, to leave.

The Catholic church kept this edict up until pressure by liberal Catholics were emboldened following the Second Vatican Council, 1968. Now Spain is the godless Mexico of Europe, half Catholic, half pagan, all spiritually walking dead.

Let us pray that God blesses our Expulsion Wall and that our Mexicans don't come back half a millennium later.
The lack of commitment of the Cath Church is something overlooked. They cannot keep their regulations for more than 500 years!


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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