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Prayer The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 05-13-2016, 01:48 PM

Don't fall for cheap knock-offs like Rapture Ready. This is the real deal! We use True Science to study all the signs and rumors of signs, with up-to-date commentary and links to more information.

Signs that humanity is doomed:


Natural Disasters (world-threatening)
:

11 Asteroid impact | No stars falling to earth just yet -1 | Nasa | Astronomy |
56 Extraterrestrial invasion
| Something on the news about this, might have been an ad, saw it in someone's window + 2 | Space Aliens | Immigration |
01 Climate change
| Some trash blew onto my lawn, otherwise the environment is fine +1 | Climate Change | Global Warming | Recycling |
30 Cosmic threats
| Space |
33 Geomagnetic reversal
| Read in the news that a kid swallowed some magnets and got messed up. +5
78 Megatsunami
| Tsunami |
10 Volcanoes
| Considered a cliche at science fairs -2 | Volcanoes |

Other natural disasters:

12 Earthquakes | Earthquakes |
10 Wild Weather
| Hurricanes | Tornadoes | Tornado Magnets |
16 Famine
| Nothing good in the Fridge +1 | Famine | Farming | Food | Corn | Pangolin Recipes
16 Drought
| OK, I upgraded this category, you can stop whining California +2| California |
10 Plagues
| Plagues | AIDS | Obesity | Retardation | Coronavirus | Batmuch Fever | AIDS 2: gayer and blacker
11 Floods
| Floods | Water | God's Wraith |

Technological threats:

12 Artificial intelligence
| Judging by my autocorrect, AI has a long way to go. -2 | Robots | Computers | Internet
54 Biotechnology
| A squirrel looked at me funny, was it a GMO? +1 | Playing God | Science is evil | Evolution |

Moral Threats:

56 Drug abuse
| Reefers | Drugs | Drunks | Smoking | Addiction crisis |
30 Crime Rate | Kids on my lawn. Police were tardy in showing up. +5 | Crime | Killing sprees | Epidemic of Knife Violence | Shootings | Policing | Domestic violence | Rape |
89 Apostasy | Apostasy |
98 General Moral Standards
| Fornication | Adultery | Gay Agenda | Slutpocalypse | Slang | Sinners | Perversion | Hymen Vandalism | Masturbation |
90 Anti-Christian conspiracies
| Persecution | Scientific lies | Destruction of Marriage |

Satanic Propaganda and Temptation:

99 Books
| Harry Potter | Book Burning | Science Fiction |
95 Movie and TV threats
| Movies| Hollywood | Anime | Pornography | Youtube | Oprah | Disney |
97 Video game threats
| Video Games | Protect our Children | Japornography |
95 Musical moral threats
| Music | Emo | Rap | Rock | "Christian" Rock | Heavy Metal | Juggalos |
98 Fashions
| Fashion | Modesty | Shirts | Goths | Hippies | Satanic Clothes |
90 Toys | Toys |80 Sports | Sports | Soccer | Jocks | Football | Baseball | Nascar | Golf |

Economic Collapse:

32 Unemployment | I just went shopping, that should create some jobs -3 | Jobs | Job Opportunities |
43 Inflation
| Inflation | Money |
23 Interest Rates
| Finance |
98 Oil Supply/Price
| Too low. +3 | Oil | Oil Companies | Saudi Arabia |
32 Debt and Trade | Debt |
45 Financial unrest | Panama Papers | Free Markets | Economic disaster |

Leadership:

98 Obama | Hussien Obama | Obama bodycount | Obama is destroying America | Kenya
00 Putin | Vlad is making Gog great again. -1 | Putin | Russia | Ukraine
50 Donald Trump | Undecided. Trump needs more media attention so we can figure him out. | Donald Trump | New York Values | Border | Deportation | GOP | Election 2016
99 Hillary Clinton | Hillary Clinton | Feminism | Lesbians |

International events:

45 Wars and rumors of wars | War | Syria | Iraq | Afghanistan | Class Warfare | 9/11 | War of Terror | South shall rise again |
70 Ecumenism | Ecumenism |
76 Globalism | NWO | Conspiracy | ZOG | United Nations |
78 Tribulation Temple
60 Supernatural events | Witchcraft | Wiccans | Monsters | Vampires and Zombies | Demonic Possession | Dragons | Talking snakes |
54 Israel | Israel | Jews |
57 Gog (Russia) | Putin | Russia | Ukraine |
97 Persia (Iran) | Iran |
89 The False Prophet | False Prophets | Prophecy | Cults | Mormons |
20 Nuclear Nations | Nuklear |
99 Global Turmoil | The terror attack in Paris has maxed out this category. 130 dead half a decade ago is the worst turmoil possible. | Islamofascism | Better Than America |
28 Arms Proliferation
98 Liberalism | Liberalism | God hates America |
78 The Peace Process
87 Kings of the East
79 Mark of the Beast | 666 | Mark of the Beast |
98 Beast Government | Satanism | Activist judges | Schools | Military | Prisons |
77 False Christs | False Prophets | Scientology |
87 The Antichrist | AntiChrist | Pope | Catholic Church |

Rapture Index: 159,909,053.000002
Net Change: +304.320001
Estimated End of World: May 15th 2021 11:21PM


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 02-28-2018, 10:43 PM

A few new signs of the endtimes are upon us.

Alex Jones is on to something:



Hyperbole, you say? Well, the chemicals have gone downstream, and now the fishes are turning into transexuals:



Also, I'm hearing about Longcat sightings, but am still skeptical. LongBird sightings, on the other hand, are now verified by photographic evidence:



I'm not sure what category to put these new items in, but a rough napkin-calculation says the new End Of The World Date is Wednesday February 28th at 11:34-ish.


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 03-01-2018, 03:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
B

Hyperbole, you say? Well, the chemicals have gone downstream, and now the fishes are turning into transexuals:




God help us All!! I’ve seen this abomination in Freehold river, just above the rapids in the women’s swimming/washing area. I didn’t say anything until now as I mistook it for Mrs. Hutchins having her morning swim when it momentarily broke the surface!

I’ll get the grenades from the school!
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flag Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 04-05-2018, 09:09 PM

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. (1st Corinthians 15:52)

And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day. And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. (John 6:39-40)


Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. (John 14:1-3)

The pre trib rapture.

But also see:
And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. (Matthew 24:30-31)


Most bible teachers ignore the difference. Proofs we have two raptures. One for the Body of Christ, the other one for his elect being saved during the tribulation.


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 12-21-2020, 01:16 PM

Due to Covid (aka Batmunch fever, AIDS 2 gayer and blacker, Winnie the Flu, etc.) I have made an update:

Plagues: +1

Also, due to the vaccine:
Mark of the Beast +10
Beast Government+8
False Christs +7
The Antichrist +86

I have also noticed this image is being passed around, am not sure what to make of it:



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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 12-21-2020, 02:39 PM

It is a sign of the impending Armageddon dumbed down for "Fluffy" Christians, as opposed to the realistic version:

Name:  death-on-a-pale-horse-west-1796.jpg
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“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 12-21-2020, 03:05 PM

A powerful record of what awaits sinners, Pastor Bathfire. If only that picture were shown in every newspaper everyday the truth might sink in.

I don't think the timing of the Rapture is very difficult. We just look around us and see the sin. This tells anyone paying attention the time is close.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 12-22-2020, 02:47 AM

The War horseman looks just like that trade federation dude in the Star Wars prequel.



Satanic servant, Satanic movie. Can't be a coincidence.


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 12-22-2020, 03:16 AM

I get confused on some of the Rapture details. I know that God is sending down some horsemen and then Jesus is returning on His horse.

But are we heading up there on our own horses? I don't really know how to ride and if we're going to be naked. . .Or is it the horses that will be naked? That seems like it will make things trickier. Do we know if God has a proper saddle-maker on retainer? The Apostle Paul made tents, of course. . . Are those skills transferable? Is that why everything is taking so long? Timothy is up there, right? Is he helping?

And what about Peter? Fishermen make nets, right? So is making horse harness so very different? . . Maybe I could forgo a saddle, but I just don't trust myself to hold on only by grasping a mane. I'm really, really gonna need a harness, at the very least.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 01-01-2021, 10:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
But are we heading up there on our own horses?
No! Certainly not! That is the fairy story that Islamists tell about Mahommed. He allegedly went to Heaven on a horse . Ridiculous! Jesus didn't need a horse and neither will you!
Quote:
I don't really know how to ride and if we're going to be naked. . .
When you die and ascend to heaven, you will be in the state of Adam and Eve before the Fall - complete innocence. It won't bother you if you or anyone else is naked. Not even if it looks like your skin could do with a good pressing.
Quote:
Or is it the horses that will be naked?
That will be the case, and God will imbue you with the ability to ride bareback.

Of course, your real question should be "Are there horses in Heaven?" But it is too late to ask that now because I've finished writing.





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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 01-03-2021, 01:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Of course, your real question should be "Are there horses in Heaven?" But it is too late to ask that now because I've finished writing.
It seems the real question, then, is, "when will we stop riding?"

There are definitely horses in Heaven:

And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. Revelation 19:14


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 01-03-2021, 02:32 PM

I'm not a theologian so for some issues I need help from experts. Are there things that are not provided at Rapture Time and we need to take with us? If so, there is the question for some people about the money they need to buy these items. If people don't have the cash are there businesses with time payment plans?


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 01-03-2021, 09:08 PM

(KJV) John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

The Bible lays plain that we must wait patiently, for the rest of those predestined for Hell, to be created, so they can burn for all eternity as God intended in the beginning of eternity, before he wasn't created, which was always.


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 01-06-2021, 06:07 PM

I hope Brother Jeb will provide an update on the Rapture Index, now that we've seen a stolen election in the US and Brexit. Not to mention all of the volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, droughts, and wars in the world.


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 09-28-2022, 05:59 PM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
I hope Brother Jeb will provide an update on the Rapture Index, now that we've seen a stolen election in the US...Brexit....volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, droughts, and wars....
It's important not to sweat the small stuff.

Here's one thing that's caused me to do some re-calculations: Mr. Leviathan, A.K.A. the Great Fish (Isaiah 27:1 Job 41:1 Psalm 104:26 Psalm 74:14 ) lives in the Baltic sea now, and is farting a lot:



What's going on? Some speculations, and their effect upon the date of the rapture:

1. Leviathan has been eating lots of Chinese plastic. All those bat-burger wrappings for bad for his digestion. +3 Hours 5.4 seconds

2. Leviathan is fine, The hollow earth theory is correct, and the bottom of the ocean has sprung a leak. -3 Hours 4 Minutes 1 second

3. The oceans have started turning to blood, as prophesized. (Revelation 8:8-9 Revelation 16:3-5) For some reason there is an unmentioned transitional phase where the oceans become Dr. Pepper. .001 planck units faster or slower (due to quantum effects).


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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 09-28-2022, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
It's important not to sweat the small stuff.

Here's one thing that's caused me to do some re-calculations: Mr. Leviathan, A.K.A. the Great Fish (Isaiah 27:1 Job 41:1 Psalm 104:26 Psalm 74:14 ) lives in the Baltic sea now, and is farting a lot:
What's going on? Some speculations, and their effect upon the date of the rapture:
1. Leviathan has been eating lots of Chinese plastic. All those bat-burger wrappings for bad for his digestion. +3 Hours 5.4 seconds
2. Leviathan is fine, The hollow earth theory is correct, and the bottom of the ocean has sprung a leak. -3 Hours 4 Minutes 1 second
3. The oceans have started turning to blood, as prophesized. (Revelation 8:8-9 Revelation 16:3-5) For some reason there is an unmentioned transitional phase where the oceans become Dr. Pepper. .001 planck units faster or slower (due to quantum effects).
As an expert on the Rapture, Brother Jeb, could you give us an updated Index number? If 10 is Rapture Tomorrow, what number are we at today? It will help people to prepare in time.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 09-29-2022, 01:46 AM

My understanding is that the Rapture Index closely tracks the target benchmark provided by the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists. They're calling it - 100 seconds to midnight, or 17 furlongs short of a country mile in standard units of international geopolitical unrest.

That means the chance of Rapture is 99.884%! So get those masks on (personally, I'll wait for Brother Jeb's update before doing anything rash).



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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 09-29-2022, 02:36 AM

So many great preachers over time have been wrong about the Rapture. For example, Billy Graham said judgment of sinners can be withheld or suspended--that we don't know anything as to when the Rapture will occur.

Today we know better. We have seen sin on the rise: homerism, trans, abortion, liberals and all the rest. That is the sure sign it's coming right up.

Revelation 4: The rapture question | Voice (christianpost.com)


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 09-30-2022, 01:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
17 furlongs short of a country mile
I'm not sure why they're standing like that but it's not the sort of thing I'd expect to see, even on an atomic scientists' bulletin.
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Default Re: The Rapture Index: are you Ready for the Rapture? - 10-01-2022, 04:59 PM

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I'm not sure why they're standing like that but it's not the sort of thing I'd expect to see, even on an atomic scientists' bulletin.
Ugh, atheists can't help themselves can they. Just for five minutes, stop pleasuring yourself to spite Jesus.


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