[James Hutchins]

As some of you know, I have a Masters degree in Organic Chemistry. Now, I did this just as I was entering the House of God© many, many years ago. I was young and foolish (you know how kids are) and did not understand the folly.
In my readings of the Bible, no where does it mention this chemical. Yet, I have it on good authority that secular 'science' has been using it constantly. It is in our reservoirs, it falls from the skies and covers Gods green Earth, getting into everything. I am sure each and every one of you have some in you. Why it is even in the wholesome milk our children drink and the single malt Scotch Rev. Osborne loves so dearly. Being he is a reverend, his highly tuned body is aware of it and on many occasions, he has complained of an abundance ruing his drink. Can you imagine what this substance is doing to the purity of our youngsters?
I know we can get rid of it by burying and by burning it in large steel drums. I'd like to propose using 100 acres of the Hutchins Plantation to retain this menace to Good True Christians™. I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

As some of you know, I have a Masters degree in Organic Chemistry. Now, I did this just as I was entering the House of God© many, many years ago. I was young and foolish (you know how kids are) and did not understand the folly.
In my readings of the Bible, no where does it mention this chemical. Yet, I have it on good authority that secular 'science' has been using it constantly. It is in our reservoirs, it falls from the skies and covers Gods green Earth, getting into everything. I am sure each and every one of you have some in you. Why it is even in the wholesome milk our children drink and the single malt Scotch Rev. Osborne loves so dearly. Being he is a reverend, his highly tuned body is aware of it and on many occasions, he has complained of an abundance ruing his drink. Can you imagine what this substance is doing to the purity of our youngsters?
I know we can get rid of it by burying and by burning it in large steel drums. I'd like to propose using 100 acres of the Hutchins Plantation to retain this menace to Good True Christians™. I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.

Thank you for informing the Brethren and Sistren about this important factology, Brother James. While I am but a simple lumberjack, and no organical chemicist myself, I can appreciate the fact that the Lord has forbidden us from perverse and unnatural engagements, among them the consumption of illegal drugs and sodomistic sexomania. I would imagine that the placebo effect alone is sufficient to turn the consumers of this dangerous toxin into anal-sexoholics overnight, and turn them away from all that is Godly and decent. If we could rid the world of this dangerous drug, we could save many young folks from the eternal fire.

[James Hutchins]

Thank you Billy Bob. Just so you know, we do need a man who can do some brick laying for the facilities buildings Prayer Chapel and barbecue pit.
The work to maintain this menace will require a full time staff and we need to ensure their comfort performing Gods work.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Thank you Billy Bob. Just so you know, we do need a man who can do some brick laying for the facilities buildings Prayer Chapel and barbecue pit.
The work to maintain this menace will require a full time staff and we need to ensure their comfort performing Gods work.

Though my expertise is in wood working and lumberjackery, I have laid my fair share of bricks, pipe, and cable as well. I am also an experienced supervisor of Mexican'ts and Neegrows; if you have any on site you will need someone to keep them motivated and away from eachother's butts.

[HTannor]

Brother Hutchins, with your advanced degree in organic chemistry, you have extensive knowledge about this scourge, but some of our Brothers and Sisters may need further information about this substance.

In the interest of broadening their understanding, I present, in layman's terms, more facts about this chemical:

Dihydrogen monoxide:

• is called "hydroxyl acid", the substance is the major component of acid rain.
• contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
• may cause severe burns.
• is fatal if inhaled.
• contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
• accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
• may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant.
• in nuclear power plants.
• in the production of Styrofoam.
• as a fire retardant.
• in many forms of cruel animal research.
• in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
• as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.

Brother Hutchins, I must admit I had heard of this menace before, but now that you and Brother Tannor have put the threat to mankind in such clear words, I can sit on the Olypmic regulation-size sidelines no longer!


Luke 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

I'm happy to share the burden of containing this dangerous acid and at the same time bear my cross (due to its weight/displacement ratio).

May I also suggest to have a separate, smaller enclosure - perhaps 6x6 feet and 3 feed deep - which would allow artificially oxygenating Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide by direct injection of air, to ensure prompt hydrogen-bonding of any existing free radicals?

On an even smaller level, using a modified Erlenmeyer Kolben, I would even volunteer to facilitate hydrogen-bonging with any True Christian Brothers or Sisters in Faith.



YiC,

Alvin

[328 Sins]

Boycott this evil chemical then, it will surely go away if we stand united against it. Once it has succesfully been stopped then things can resume with alternatives to it. The absense of this chemical amoung us can only only make us stronger than all non believers, along with faith in the lord heathens will die in their own self made acid rains in chink land, abbo island and the likes.

[Barry]

Thank you James for your great work helping to rid the world of this fiendish chemical. Please keep me informed of your progress building the waste storage facility. Once completed, I could probably contribute a couple of liters a day. Normally I rather guiltily flush it down the toilet and worry what it might be doing in the enviroment. So this really does answer my prayers.

[James Hutchins]

Every little bit helps. Only with the support of the True Christians™ can we make this dream a reality. Once completed, all Gold and above contributors will be given thier own keys to the facility to bask in Gods Glory.

[HTannor]

Brother James: word of your project must be spreading throughout the interwebs.


I just received notice from one of my operatives that says:

"Your Honor, I have just been contacted by one Okobono Obangy who asked if it would be acceptable to invest in the “Jammes Hutchinson” project." The note reads:

To: (operative name deleted due to confidentiality agreements)

From: Mr. Okobono Obangy
Nigerian Consulate
The Hague,
The Netherlands

Greetings, good sir. May the blessings of our beneficent Lord be upon you.

It has come to my attention that a Mr. Jammes Hutchinson of Freehold, Iowa, is developing a project that will rid our wonderful earth of a nefarious chemical that causes so much misery for many.

My homeland faced that same problem many years ago and we eradicated it by expanding the Sahara Desert to sop up as much of this substance as possible. The project was an outstanding success and now there is little of this chemical to be found.

We financed the desert expansion by imposing modest annual taxes on every person in our nation. Through an unfortunate oversight the tax was never repealed and we have, shall we say, an “embarrassment of riches” that keeps growing annually.

Which brings me to the reason I am in correspondence with a good sir such as yourself.

We are prepared to forward the sum of $43,000,000 U.S. dollars as our investment in this battle to eradicate the nuisance chemical from your environment.

In order to release the funds we will need certain information from you which I will be prepared to discuss if your countryman is interested. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
“Okie”

Brother James, as a Jurist of some repute, I approach most things with a sense of caution and this offer reaffirms my instincts.

My chief concern is that the $43 million might entitle them to "Gold" or above status thus granting them their own keys to the facility. I shudder to think that a tribe of them would show up, use the key to gain entrance, and overwhelm the filtration system.

Perhaps I'm being alarmist, but.............

[Clod McGobbledegook]

i hope you know that your di-hydrogen molecule that you loath so much also takes the form of a common compound known ad di-hydrogen oxide, H2O water

which is -

• used in photosynthesis, when plants turn carbon dioxide into oxygen
  
• in your blood
  
• 80-90% of your body
  

also, burning the di-hydrogen monoxide is a terrible idea, it just releases it straight into the atmosphere which promotes global warming, one of the reasons you want to do it. Please get your facts straight before you demand money, this religion thing is becoming more and more like an ignorant cult.

[Redeemed Papist]

Again it is comforting to know that we have astute atheist kiddies out there to chide and correct us and lead us into fully understanding that which they read. Such shining lights of comprehension of every nuance of the written word reassures me that the world will be in good hands.

Suddenly it's clear to me that all the things they believe because other people insist that it's true and have a book written by other people to back them up that things they can't possibly see or ever witness have got to be true. Of course science has got it all right and God who made everything in just six days and then deftly micro managed mankind for thousands of years is wrong. What were we thinking? Where's a monkey so I can worship it.

Thanks for being so clearly so very much smarter than us, kiddie atheist. Your clear insight is exemplary as to the nature of earnest, God-hating teenage blowhards.

PS I may just heed your advice not to burn water. Thanks for that. the consequences of me burning water or there being burnt water in the air sound too terrible to imagine.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by GodmcGoddington

in your blood - 80-90% of your body

Nonsense! Perhaps your body is filled with AIDS, but mine is clean!

[Jo Freddie]

My "friends" I hear your concerns about Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide, this is a substance that I have some experience of so as a gestue of good will I am going to share some information with you that will help reduce your intake of Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide and also help you purge it from your body.

Due to long term high exposure to Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide I have developed a good tolerance to it so I do not personally follow the precautions below but I hear the concerns you have voiced and understand that you may feel that you do not want to take the path I have trodden.

There is a wonderful subsantce that can help you reduce youe Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide intake ans also purge the Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide that has found its way into your boby, what is this substance you ask well you need look no further then your special book to find it Leviticus 2:13 yes "Brothers and Sisters" SALT that is what is going to help you, and your special book tells you to use it.

Due to the invasive nature of Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide in the modern world ALL your food, even that you have grown, reared or cooked yourself will contain it but with the correct use of salt you can reduce your intake and purge it from your body.

Take a large vessel, say an old bath fill it with salt, slice ALL your food so that as much of it as possible comes into contact with the salt and bury it in the bath. Leave it in the salt for several days. When you remove from the salt you will find that its Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide content has been dratically reduced and you can now consume it.

ALL you drinks will contain large quantity of Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide and the above method is not a suitable way to reduce it but salt can still help you. Add a good tablespoon of salt to each drink this will help purge Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide from your body.

Stick to the above method of treating EVERYTHING you eat and drink and in no time at all you will no-longer have a problem with Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide.