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Reload this Page My first day as an undocumented editorial board member
The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns.

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Jesus' eternal love My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 10-27-2019, 07:31 PM

After the word "abolish", my favorite word it "undocumented". So, now that I have become an editorial board member by showing up to a meeting and a half, it's time to make some editorial changes at the FhT&L.

First, the incident outside O'Malley's last night was not a "stabbing", it was undocumented surgery.

The undocumented surgeon was not a "drug dealer", but an undocumented pharmacist. There was no mob threatening to lynch him, there was a group of peaceful protestors discussing whether to abolish him with an undocumented punishment. The pharmacist did not escape and hide by breaking into a home and taking a hostage, he became an undocumented roommate in an undocumented relationship. As for the arson, that was an undocumented bonfire.

Next meeting: how to include more uses of the word "abolish".


Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 11-17-2019 at 01:51 PM.
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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 10-27-2019, 08:17 PM

When a migrant ship sinks, can we call that an undocumented swimming lesson?

Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."


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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 11-17-2019, 01:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson View Post
Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."
You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size-fits-all face.


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 11-18-2019 at 05:35 PM.
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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 11-17-2019, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson View Post
Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size fits all face.
This is an interesting issue, but what concerns me the most is the following: the brainwashing this poor soul exhibits, is that an innate behavior, or is this the effect of enrolling in Wannabe Hipster 101 class at some liberal college?
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