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Default You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 10:16 AM

Woman fatally bitten by snake in church

Neighbors say Kentucky congregation practices serpent-handling

LONDON, Ky. - A woman who was bitten by a snake at a church that neighbors say practices serpent-handling died of her wounds hours later, a newspaper reported.
Linda Long, 48, was bitten Sunday at East London Holiness Church, where neighbors said the reptiles are handled as part of religious services, The Lexington Herald-Leader reported Tuesday.
Long died at University of Kentucky Medical Center about four hours after being bitten, authorities told the newspaper.
"She said she was bitten by a snake at her church," said Lt. Ed Sizemore of the Laurel County Sheriff's Office.
Handling reptiles as part of religious services is illegal in Kentucky. Snake handling is a misdemeanor and punishable by a $50 to $100 fine.
Police said they had not received any reports of snake handling at the church.
Snake handling is based on a passage in the Bible that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed.
Church officials could not be reached for comment.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 11:41 AM

Yes, what wimps using rattlers. If they had real faith they'd turn some Black mamba's loose among the congregation.
Stupid pentacostals!!!!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 01:04 PM

Snakes are for sissies. I have no bear in my basement.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 03:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Woman fatally bitten by snake in church

Neighbors say Kentucky congregation practices serpent-handling

LONDON, Ky. - A woman who was bitten by a snake at a church that neighbors say practices serpent-handling died of her wounds hours later, a newspaper reported.
Handling reptiles as part of religious services is illegal in Kentucky. Snake handling is a misdemeanor and punishable by a $50 to $100 fine.
Police said they had not received any reports of snake handling at the church.
Snake handling is based on a passage in the Bible that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed.
Church officials could not be reached for comment.
That's what you get for not reading the Bible!
Deuteronomy 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 03:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
...a passage in the Bible that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed.
Isn't this the same passage the homers use to call themselves Christians?
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 04:31 PM

Pennycostals; once they were just another snake cult, and now, snakes in all of our beautiful cites.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-08-2006, 04:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
That's what you get for not reading the Bible!
Deuteronomy 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.
Excellent point, Pastor. It goes to show what God thinks about cafeteria "Christians."


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-09-2006, 03:13 AM

Pennycostals ON A PLANE!!!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-09-2006, 10:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
Isn't this the same passage the homers use to call themselves Christians?
Pentocostals, homers, they're both the same thing.
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lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-11-2006, 02:23 AM

That poor snake! Did it survive?


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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-11-2006, 07:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Snakes are for sissies. I have a bear in my basement.
I wouldn't brag about that Zeke...considering the chains and the tutu

And yeah, what happened to the snake? And is that woman going to be getting a Darwin award? Because she deserves one!



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-11-2006, 07:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
And yeah, what happened to the snake? And is that woman going to be getting a Darwin award? Because she deserves one!
What is all this talk of a "Darwin Award". Every so often do you sickular scientists give awards to those who can come up with even more crazy theories to feed to today's children and turn them away from God? Is that what the award is for, in honour of the one you evolutionists worship, Darwin?


Jeremiah.17.15
Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-11-2006, 11:47 AM

Any so-called award with the name of that monkey-loving drug-addict Darwin would be considered a curse in the company that I keep.

I am proud to admit that I won a prize in Summer Bible Gun Camp back when I was 5 or 6 years old. I was able to recite the entire Book of Ezekiel (my namesake) by heart, while breaking down, cleaning, and re-assembling an M-16 assault rifle. What a proud day that was. My father gave me a Godly beating when I got home, for the sin of pride in fact. Lord how he loved me.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-12-2006, 12:52 AM

That still doesn't explain the need for a bear in your basement.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-12-2006, 06:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
That still doesn't explain the need for a bear in your basement.
Please tell me he's not working his way up the evolutionary chain....there was the rumour of a...liasion with the dreaded monkey,Bobo.


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-12-2006, 09:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
That poor snake! Did it survive?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
.... And yeah, what happened to the snake? .....
Why is it that you women (and I use the term loosely) always show an unhealthy fixation on serpents? What is it with these slithering double-tongued creatures that elicit such an intense fascination among members of the fairer sex?

The poor deluded Pennycostal had obviously based her entire religion on a single verse (Mark 16:18) - and it would behoove you to study the following scripture lest you should make the same grave mistake:

Genesis 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

Serpents are not meant to be fondled by women! Satan must be stomped out!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-12-2006, 10:50 PM

Praise Jesus, and thank you for pointing out the sexural depravity of the pantycoastal snake insertion practices Brother Prune. What many people also fail to realize, is their perversion also leads to depraved homeristic tendencies in the pantycoastal men.

WARNING! The photo posted below is NOT to be viewed by womenfolk, or those of shaky faith in our Lord.


Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to be a True Christian™ and not a perverted false Christian like this fool.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-13-2006, 01:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Praise Jesus, and thank you for pointing out the sexural depravity of the pantycoastal snake insertion practices Brother Prune. What many people also fail to realize, is their perversion also leads to depraved homeristic tendencies in the pantycoastal men.

WARNING! The photo posted below is NOT to be viewed by womenfolk, or those of shaky faith in our Lord.


Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to be a True Christian™ and not a perverted false Christian like this fool.

Those poor snakes - don't you have the SPCA in America?


So...um..what about that bear then, Zeke? Or did you hope we'd forgotten?


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - 11-13-2006, 04:07 AM

The bear is kept on my estate for...um...recreational purposes. I practice manly arts with it...um...boxing for example. He also prowls the grounds at random times and acts as a security guard....

You just tend to your drunken ukranian sailors, filthy harlot. Don't worry about Mr. Wiggles.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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