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ACTUALChristian ACTUALChristian is offline
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Thumbs down *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 05:46 AM

This site is a joke, right?

...right?

If it's not, I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell. Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be. He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most. Who cares about teaching it to each other? You already know his word. go teach it to people who need it.

Your God hates you. Your God can't stand that you aren't spreading his love, and actually spreading false teachings in his "holy name." YOU ARE THE LEAST HOLY RELIGION ON THIS ROUND EARTH.

piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
This site is a joke, right?
I'm sorry you believe the Word of God is a joke.
I defy you to show us where we are scripturally incorrect even one iota.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
If it's not, I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell. Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be. He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most. Who cares about teaching it to each other? You already know his word. go teach it to people who need it.
It's very clear you are one of them. We are doing our duty as Christians then, yes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
Your God hates you. Your God can't stand that you aren't spreading his love
Thank you for your persecution. Jesus says we are blessed by it.

John 15:18-21 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
What filth coming out your mouth and you call yourself a Christian?
Enjoy hell, God mocker!

Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 06:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be.
Please be honest for once in your useless life. Just admit you never ever even touched a Holy Bible, let alone bothered to find out what is actually in the Holy Bible. I urge you to stop masturbating for a second and pay attention for once.

People God hates:
  • Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."
  • Deuteronomy 12:31 "You must not worship the LORD your God in their way, because in worshiping their gods, they do all kinds of detestable things the LORD hates. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire as sacrifices to their gods."

God kills those who do not believe in Him and then sends them to hell:
  • 2nd Chronicles 15:13 "That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman."
  • Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."
  • Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
  • John 15:6 "If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned."


5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 06:23 AM

It appears angry. Maybe it's off its meds.
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 06:38 AM

And I thought first posts should be to introduce oneself

It appears to be gone anyway.

Praise the Lord


1 Corinthians 7:39-40 ...but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 06:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvia View Post
It appears to be gone anyway.
It's such a shame too. I was just warming up to that one. Hopefully it will come back so we can talk more about Jesus.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 06:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Hopefully it will come back so we can talk more about Jesus.
Won't we talk about Jesus without it, maybe we will call it back up with the good talks?


1 Corinthians 7:39-40 ...but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 09:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvia View Post
And I thought first posts should be to introduce oneself
To be fair, he gave us all the information we needed: that he's an ignorant bigot.

We don't like ignorant bigots around here.

It's God's favorite forum, for crying out loud. Show some respect, sheesh!


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 10:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
We don't like ignorant bigots around here.
And here's me thinking it was a precondition of becoming a True Christian.

But you keep showing all these people how they are wrong about the instructions found in the KJV1611 Collected Fairy Tales, and I will keep showing them how to find the One True God. The reason they have their misconceptions about the bible, is because they have some intrinsic understanding of the nature of God.
I can understand their confusion when you you point out to them what your religion actually requires them to do, they KNOW that is not what God would want.
I can help them work through this confusion and lead them to the TRUE Path. Help the find the Joy that is the Love of The One True God, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Book of Disco
Chapter 1

Quote:
1. And the Flying Spaghetti Monster came to me
2. In a dream of fond noodliness.
3. I accepted his gift by touching him back,
4. Making him grow more so fond of me.
5. And he said in the dream
6. “Convert as many as you can
7. as it is my will and prowess to do so.”
8. I agreed to this and he granted me
9. a spot in heaven atop the Beer Volcano and Stripper factory.
10. As I asked him how I could pay my respects daily to him
11. he said “Take this pasta and eat it, it represents my body
12. it will bring us both closer together.”

13.As I was converting others I came upon a fellow named Zach.
14. As I talked with him he bacame overwhelmed by the awesomeness of our noodly master.
15. He became so obsessed he started to have massive spasms on the floor while repeating,
16. “The Flying Spaghetti Monster is sooo freaking sweet he makes me want to
17. crap my pants.”
18. Zach has come down with a disorder called “Over-enthusiasm”
19. Sure our PastaLord wants us to worship him but not all the time.
20. If he wanted us to worship him all the time
21. he would have never given us free will.

22.“Help thy fellow miget in times of peril, as they will help you in your time of need.”
23. The Flying Spaghetti Monster told us.
24. As he gave me advice on numerous things I took notes, here is his devine word.
25. “I encourage an openess to any other religion, bashing is not seen as an act of noodliness.”
26, “The Viking is as much a friend as the pirate. The Ninja hath see no mercy from the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
27. “Emo sucks.”


Posted via Pasta

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May my Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
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Loose Canon Fan Page
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I have been to The Volcano!

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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 10:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
This site is a joke, right?

...right?
Loving God and living in Him and following His Word to the letter, is no joking matter. ALL True Christians ™ realize this and obviously this is just the beginnning of your failure and bearing false witness on us!


Quote:
If it's not, I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell. Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be. He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most. Who cares about teaching it to each other? You already know his word. go teach it to people who need it.
Interesting.An uppity false Christian comes in here and claims the capacity to damn all of us to hell? lol IFyou knew the heart of God,you would realize that ONLY The Lord has the capacity to make that decision. You are arrogant enough however to make that decision quite easy for Him, at least in regard to your own damned eternity.

Matthew 5:22

But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.


It seems "actual christian", you are helping God strike your match of damnation!


Quote:
Your God hates you.
Now you profess to know the mind of God as well? *shaking head* God has a list of hates and we True Christians™ are not mentioned on any of these points. You however seem to cover near all bases. (I say near all as I have no proof that you have shed innocent blood)

God hates:

• Haughty eyes

• A lying tongue

• Hands that shed innocent blood

• A heart that devises wicked schemes

• Feet that are quick to rush into evil

• A false witness who pours out lies

• A man who stirs up dissension among brothers

As stated in Proverbs

Proverbs 6:16-19

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.



Quote:
Your God can't stand that you aren't spreading his love, and actually spreading false teachings in his "holy name."
We all work tirelessly spreading The Word of TRUTH. The fact that we refuse to leave out one jot or tittle of God's wonderful and unchanging writings, seems to be of issue to you. Obviously you are not familiar with what Jesus said as to this:

Matthew 5:18

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.


We are just doing as The Lord commands us to. Deal with it!!

Jesus also said:

Matthew 10:34

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


Just what do you think God wants from His devout followers? Of course to spread the WHOLE Truth, rather than some half-baked "interpretation" you glean from His pen. I truly doubt from your rant if you have ever picked up a KJV1611, let alone opened it and read it!

Quote:
YOU ARE THE LEAST HOLY RELIGION ON THIS ROUND EARTH.
We are Baptists and True Christians™ and your persecution only goes to strengthen our faith, and also Our Lord's love for us, so thank you so much for your mocking.

Peter 4: 12-14

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.





Quote:
piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
You may use that potty mouth to kiss your mother, but please refrain from using such profanity here.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow.






There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 12:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
This site is a joke, right?

...right?
Why would we be joking?

Quote:
If it's not, I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell. Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be. He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most. Who cares about teaching it to each other? You already know his word. go teach it to people who need it.
So we will burn in hell? Why?

Quote:
Your God hates you. Your God can't stand that you aren't spreading his love, and actually spreading false teachings in his "holy name." YOU ARE THE LEAST HOLY RELIGION ON THIS ROUND EARTH.

piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
God loves us, but you don't love God I noticed. May I ask why? What did God ever do to you?
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 01:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
Your God hates you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
Sounds pretty hateful...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you an ignorant bigot like myself puts him out to be.
There, fixed that for you

Why not take your insults to God elsewhere, friend?

God loves you too, but don't ask me why


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-04-2010, 04:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
This site is a joke, right?

...right?

If it's not, I can honestly say each and every "True Christian" on here will get to burn in Hell. Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be. He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most. Who cares about teaching it to each other? You already know his word. go teach it to people who need it.

Your God hates you. Your God can't stand that you aren't spreading his love, and actually spreading false teachings in his "holy name." YOU ARE THE LEAST HOLY RELIGION ON THIS ROUND EARTH.

piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
I sense some hidden anger in your response if you talk about it you might be able to let go of it. Please remember We don't hate you, God might but not us.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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scherzo scherzo is offline
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-07-2010, 04:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
This site is a joke, right?

He wants you to go and teach his love to the unworthy people who need it most
With this statement you should fit right in. Teaching Love to unworthy by giving poor people the Bible is exactly what matters. Or preaching to an Aids patient without health care ( a luxury you enjoy ) is the proper path to righteousness. Or how about picketing an abortion clinic, rather than lobby the government for affordable living wages ?

ActualChistian is not so bad after all.
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Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-07-2010, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by scherzo View Post
With this statement you should fit right in. Teaching Love to unworthy by giving poor people the Bible is exactly what matters. Or preaching to an Aids patient without health care ( a luxury you enjoy ) is the proper path to righteousness. Or how about picketing an abortion clinic, rather than lobby the government for affordable living wages ?

ActualChistian is not so bad after all.
Excellent point. Preach love, but don't actually do anything for them. I believe I like you.

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:15-17


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

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Default Re: *facepalm* - 07-07-2010, 07:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACTUALChristian View Post
[...]Your God is not the vengeful figurehead you put him out to be.
I believe that the verse you might have in mind is:

Rom:12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Secular law prevents Landover from carrying out many of the earthly punishments required by God; it does not prevent Landover from warning of the eventual downfall of sinners.

Quote:
piffle all of you. piffle all of you to hell, where you rightfully belong.
And here you see the judgemental hatred and loathing of someone who is a CINO - a Christian in Name Only.

Beware such people, they come as ravening wolves.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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