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Default Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-08-2019, 02:58 PM

We at Landover Baptist can become exhausted in our mission to stamp out sin--there is so much of it. But, we cannot let up or sin will rule.

I just found out about a secret place of sin we must eliminate. It is right in our backyard here in Iowa. A couple of hours east on I-80 near Davenport is the "Blue Lake Resort." It is a nudest camp where people ignore Genesis 20:26, "...that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon."

If we could get into the camp and read the Bible to these sinners perhaps the would come to their senses. The camp management, however, requires campers to be nude and I doubt any of us would risk eternity in hell even for such a noble mission.

If anyone has an idea for reaching these unsaved souls I hope you will pass it along. Thank you.

https://qctimes.com/news/local/a-nud...511249fde.html


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-08-2019, 06:14 PM

It would be advisable to take a more mature choice for your female representative as she would be less of a distraction to the younger sinners present. I am available to attend if you would like me to witness with you, sir.


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in 2016

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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-08-2019, 07:14 PM

Mister Hold,

I have PMed you one suggestion. I have decided to offer another one that may work. If Pastor Ezekiel’s new jet has been bought finally, have you ever thought about flying banners over the nudist resort? AirDrop care packages containing The Bible as well as gallons of Popoff holy water may be effective too. If you want to hire my uncle, he has a crop duster which he could fill up with Popoff holy water in order to douse them with The Lord.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-08-2019, 09:22 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mister Hold,

If you want to hire my uncle, he has a crop duster
Your uncle's crop duster airplane would be perfect for pulling a banner behind it with a message condemning all the naked sinners. We can only have 4 or 5 words so let's all think about a message that would make these lustful heathens put their clothes on.



Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-08-2019, 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
It would be advisable to take a more mature choice for your female representative as she would be less of a distraction to the younger sinners present. I am available to attend if you would like me to witness with you, sir.
God bless you sister VictoryOS for your brave offer. I'm concerned for anyone that might enter this lust-filled den of sin. We need to ensure that anyone entering the camp be able to exit with all his/her moral integrity in tact.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-09-2019, 01:48 AM

Mayor Hold and Mrs. Victory would be excellent infiltrators, as they bear an uncanny resemblance to your typical nudist couple.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-09-2019, 02:34 AM

God cast out mankind from the Garden of Eden - and that means you can't walk around in your birthday suit any longer.

Quote:
And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

- Genesis 3:7

Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

- Genesis 3:21


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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-09-2019, 03:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
God cast out mankind from the Garden of Eden - and that means you can't walk around in your birthday suit any longer.
Thank you for making the word of God perfectly clear, Brother Bryan. Going in without clothes is an option not available to True Christians™.

I would guess those electricians and handymen who go in to make repairs can keep their clothes on. Maybe we could come up with some scheme like that to get inside and then distribute Bibles.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-09-2019, 09:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Thank you for making the word of God perfectly clear, Brother Bryan. Going in without clothes is an option not available to True Christians™.

I would guess those electricians and handymen who go in to make repairs can keep their clothes on. Maybe we could come up with some scheme like that to get inside and then distribute Bibles.
This has been on my mind quite a bit Mayor, as the rest of us. I'm not sure where would would get some Cherubims these days, but we might be able to arrange some flaming swords.

Quote:
So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

- Genesis 3:24


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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-10-2019, 09:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Your uncle's crop duster airplane would be perfect for pulling a banner behind it with a message condemning all the naked sinners. We can only have 4 or 5 words so let's all think about a message that would make these lustful heathens put their clothes on.

This is an excellent idea, Mr. Mayor! Might I suggest a reference to 1 Timothy 2:9 (for the women) or Leviticus 18:7-11 for any perverted parents who think it's a good idea to spit in Jesus' eyes and raise their children to run around naked like little heathens?
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-10-2019, 09:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
children to run around naked like little heathens?
Oh no, not good. You'd better suppress this news or else you'll have a massive influx of Catholic priests and Muslims flooding into Iowa.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-13-2019, 02:02 PM

I am curious about the Upcoming Event section of your hotel site, Dennis. I see no vacancies during the Nebraska Naturist Convention announcement and a recommendation for an overflow motel five miles from yours and the offer of free shuttles during major events. Someone has to pay for that gasoline brother. Don’t let yourself get gypped.


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“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-17-2019, 09:22 PM

Thank God for Iowa winters. It is the middle of September and the cold weather is coming. Soon God's blowing snow will chase nudists from their beaches of sin.

We can pray it will not open next year.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-20-2019, 01:23 PM

Why don't we just go there fully clothed and shoot them?


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Default Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp - 09-20-2019, 04:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Why don't we just go there fully clothed and shoot them?
I'm afraid that's not legal yet, Brother. However, if we give Donald J. Trump () 12 more years, we'll see!
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