Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Focus on Family - Christian Parenting
Reload this Page Underoos
Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Old Man Hatchet's Avatar
Old Man Hatchet Old Man Hatchet is offline
Super Moderator
Beloved Church Elder
World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Christian Love True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Gold Tither Gunfest '05 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '09 Heaven Bound Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Babysitter Hands Off

 
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Underoos - 10-07-2007, 11:56 PM

I visitied my daughter yesterday evening and performed my routine sin inspection, rummaging through closets and rifling through drawers. I came across a pair of Supergirl Underoos in my granddaughter's underthings drawer. Naturally I beat my daughter and granddaughter for this outrage and confiscated the vile underclothes.



Brethren, Underoos combine popular characters from the world of children's entertainment with underwear. It's an unholy union. Superman, The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman, He-Man, C-3PO, and Batman are just a few of the Godless characters that can be found on these despicable undies.



A child wearing Underoos becomes unruly and excited; consequently, the child makes a sick association between underwear and excitement for the rest of his or her life. Underoos teach children that underwear is fun. They are a gateway garment to leather, crotchless, and edible panties. Additionally, children may develop a fetish for the character which adorns their skivvies, becoming aroused by, say, Scooby-Doo or Aquaman.

Do not allow your children to wear Underoos, friends, lest they grow up to be like these "super" perverts:
Attached Images
  
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post

I visitied my daughter yesterday evening and performed my routine sin inspection, rummaging through closets and rifling through drawers. I came across a pair of Supergirl Underoos in my granddaughter's underthings drawer. Naturally I beat my daughter and granddaughter for this outrage and confiscated the vile underclothes ...
Oh this is not good news, OMH! I know my Godly son-in-law would slap me upside the head if he caught me wearing something sinful like that!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 01:06 AM

Your tragic story has compelled me to take a break from my Christmas baking and spend some time behind the sewing machine making my new Landover Baptist Church Underoos. GLORY!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Marshall's Avatar
Marshall Marshall is offline
Righteous and Patriotic
Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Highest Body Count True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '14 Real American™ Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian Justice of the Peace Eats the Most Pork Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Sons of Liberty Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 01:11 AM

I completely agree Brother Hatchet. Those can only lead to Homerism or an overcharged libido.

These I can understand.
Attached Images
 


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 09:44 AM

I would have thought people like yourselves would like underoos? They do, after all, cover more than your average set of underwear.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 79,701
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 11:06 AM

I prefer the type made in America, with our Savior's image emblazoned upon the front. Quite comfy too.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Old Man Hatchet's Avatar
Old Man Hatchet Old Man Hatchet is offline
Super Moderator
Beloved Church Elder
World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Christian Love True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Gold Tither Gunfest '05 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '09 Heaven Bound Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Babysitter Hands Off

 
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 02:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I would have thought people like yourselves would like underoos? They do, after all, cover more than your average set of underwear.

A child wearing Underoos becomes unruly and excited; consequently, the child makes a sick association between underwear and excitement for the rest of his or her life. Underoos teach children that underwear is fun. They are a gateway garment to leather, crotchless, and edible panties. Additionally, children may develop a fetish for the character which adorns their skivvies, becoming aroused by, say, Scooby-Doo or Aquaman.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,475
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-08-2007, 03:13 PM

Indeed Brother Hatchet,

This little homer clearly has an underwear fettish already.



I fear he will grow up to be like THIS.



Or THIS



These underwear are indeed a threat to our True Christianchildren. Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention.


A VERY concerned, Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Wash O'Hanley's Avatar
Wash O'Hanley Wash O'Hanley is offline
Debate Moderator (and participant)
Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
Louder Than Reason
True Christian™

True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Fairest and most balanced broadcaster Saved 5 Years Real American™ Gold Tither Publisher's Choice TC Bravery Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Persecuted Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 2,139
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 05:55 AM

One day you're wearing these Satanic children's underwear and the next you're joining up with the Mormons and their horrific devil-worshiping cult of underwear.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 06:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
I completely agree Brother Hatchet. Those can only lead to Homerism or an overcharged libido.

These I can understand.
I AVERT MINE EYES, OH LORD! THESE ARE THE SIN-DERWEAR of the mormonS who believe they are bulletproof while wearing them.

God in Heaven, never post anything like that again! mormon underwear. UGHHHH!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,213
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 08:51 AM

I must admit to having had quite a problem viewing this page with my eyes shut.
Praise Jesus I can put my Post here without actually seeing what's been written. I can only imagine the depravity
Well, actually, NO I CAN'T but I think It's disgusting anyway.
It's bad enough having to review new Books and Films with my eyes closed but I never realised such filth would appear on "Jesus' favourite Forum".

I'm glad It's our Men who have the duty of checking townsfolk are wearing proper Under things.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 08:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I must admit to having had quite a problem viewing this page with my eyes shut.
Praise Jesus I can put my Post here without actually seeing what's been written. I can only imagine the depravity
Well, actually, NO I CAN'T but I think It's disgusting anyway.
It's bad enough having to review new Books and Films with my eyes closed but I never realised such filth would appear on "Jesus' favourite Forum".

I'm glad It's our Men who have the duty of checking townsfolk are wearing proper Under things.
Yes, it is awful, but someone has to do it. I don't recall YOU stopping at any of our checkpoints recently. I suppose it is time to do another search. As policy requires, there must be another female in the room while I am searching you. Bring that nice girl that came with you last time, ok?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,213
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 09:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Yes, it is awful, but someone has to do it. I don't recall YOU stopping at any of our checkpoints recently. I suppose it is time to do another search. As policy requires, there must be another female in the room while I am searching you. Bring that nice girl that came with you last time, ok?
If you call yesterday not being recent then of course you can do an inspection dear Pastor.

By the way, that wasn't a girl.
I was escorting a Drag Queen out of town after Pastor Bobby Joe had finished Ministering IT.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 09:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
If you call yesterday not being recent then of course you can do an inspection dear Pastor.

By the way, that wasn't a girl.
I was escorting a Drag Queen out of town after Pastor Bobby Joe had finished Ministering IT.
Ha Ha Ha! Dear Sister Talitha, always the little kidder! Just stop by my office, dear. I'll have nurse Ratchet in attendance.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Old Man Hatchet's Avatar
Old Man Hatchet Old Man Hatchet is offline
Super Moderator
Beloved Church Elder
World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Christian Love True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Gold Tither Gunfest '05 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '09 Heaven Bound Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Babysitter Hands Off

 
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 07:16 PM

Friends, I am utterly exhausted from researching Underoos. I just want to add that I noticed the phrase "heat resistant wasitband" on the back of the packaging. What sort of lewd, immoral, friction-based activity did the manufacturers have in mind when they designed these things?



Children who wear Underoos will discover that the underwear does very little in the way of resisting heat in the fiery pits of Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 07:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
If you call yesterday not being recent then of course you can do an inspection dear Pastor.

By the way, that wasn't a girl.
I was escorting a Drag Queen out of town after Pastor Bobby Joe had finished Ministering IT.
Curiously it was a she. It seems the plastic industry can do some pretty impressive things with simulated "limbs". You can imagine my shock and disgust when I found it she wasn't a guy in drag. There is nothing worse than looking into a pair of frilly lace panties and finding a cooter. She was one of these gay guys trapped in a woman's body so I had to spend the entire security search turning down her offers to have homer sex with me. What a sicko.

We ever did you find her/he/it Talitha?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,475
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 07:42 PM

Should the word "shrinkage" be on the package?

Do they resist the cold?
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Underoos - 10-09-2007, 09:09 PM

When did the "hair shirt" ever go out of style? I'd imagine they came in a set, with "hair panties." Or was that just a style for catlicks?

Confidential to Sister Thumper: Why does Li'l Davey continue to try to elude my Fond Embraces? So now he's acting like he things he's some sort of superMan?!



Hah! I'll get him yet!!!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Five Year Old Girl's Avatar
Five Year Old Girl Five Year Old Girl is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Real American™ One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 129
Join Date: Sep 2007
Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.Five Year Old Girl has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Underoos - 10-10-2007, 09:36 AM

Yeah, I know, huh?

Liddow Johnny Smith sez you should only wear garmies, but you should wear 'em, like awe thuh time. He juss' came back from like a whow two years some place, an' now he says I gotta call him an Eldar. But he still lives at home wif' his Mawmy, sos I think that's silly. But like He says Underoos are bad too on accounta nuthin' good ever came from Ozzie-land on accounta Satanizerism. An' garmies.

What're garmies?
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Baphomet Baphomet is offline
Disgusting Unsaved Queer!
Has hardened his heart against God.
Refuses to give up his faggotry.
 
 
Posts: 137
Join Date: Nov 2006
Baphomet is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Underoos - 10-11-2007, 12:16 AM

You guys are freakin me out with all this shrinkage stuff. I haven't worn briefs in ages because of that rumour (or fact)!

And I know this is a little off topic, but I imagine it goes along with soiling underoos... but are you guys having the Hell House this year? When is it? I seriously want to come. All the secular haunted houses aren't even scary!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
old man hatchet disproves, slutpocalypse

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved