The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Forum Member
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Jesus' Left Testicle, TX
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
03-24-2018, 08:28 PM
Thank you so much! If only all of humanity had the same thinking, those poor souls. I'm making my filthy Sodomite son memorize this, in the hopes that the pure righteousness of this text scares the foul spirits of Satan from his body! I will be sure to pray for all those lost souls that they might one day (if, of course, it is the will of God) find salvation.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
03-26-2018, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arnie Flenderson
Thank you so much! If only all of humanity had the same thinking, those poor souls. I'm making my filthy Sodomite son memorize this, in the hopes that the pure righteousness of this text scares the foul spirits of Satan from his body! I will be sure to pray for all those lost souls that they might one day (if, of course, it is the will of God) find salvation.
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Mr Flenderson, I must ask, how did your son ended up being a homer?I am seeing a father with not enough discipline. A father without a rod.
Is that the case, Mr Flenderson?
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
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Posts: 267
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
04-05-2018, 06:39 PM
It can't be any clearer. Only Christ can save!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,684
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
04-05-2018, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel Stanford
It can't be any clearer. Only Christ can save!
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Indeed only Christ can Save!
Glory!
However, please understand we can peruse Youtube videos whenever we wish, and this isn't a dropbox for videos. What we're interested in is your personal walk with Jesus! In your own words. You can introduce yourself in our very conveniently labeled Introduction Forum!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Prison
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 05:50 AM
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell. 
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc_Niccals
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell.  
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Hell Friend,
Welcome to the friendliest of friendly forums. It would be nice if you could introduce yourself and tell us all about your own, personal, Walk With Jesus.
Luke 1:6 - And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 70
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Alabama
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 06:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc_Niccals
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell.  
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How edgy of you, Murdoc! Welcome to the forums. Have you made an introduction post yet?
1 Timothy 2:12
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Unsaved trash, loathsome teenage godmocker, probably queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Hell
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-24-2018, 02:35 PM
Thank you for telling me about the word of God
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,684
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-24-2018, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salmon_GOD
Thank you for telling me about the word of God
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You're welcome, dear! Are you ready to be born again and follow Christ and join us praising His Holy Name forever and ever and ever?!?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,343
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-25-2018, 06:51 AM
There are creeds claiming that baptism causes Salvation and that by sprinkling babies who have no idea what's going on they can sucker in another schmuck. Conversion however results from a belief. Baptism follows on from that belief and clearly does not cause the belief because catholic or Anglican baptism (of babies) very rarely results in Christian adults.
Acts 8: 5-6a, 26-29, 35-40
Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria, and preached Christ unto them. And the people with one accord gave heed unto those things which Philip spakeThe locations mentioned are shown on the map.
I've marked a line from Jerusalem to Gaza for reference. And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, was returning and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet. Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.The eunuch was puzzled by what he read.
Was it a prophecy that God was about to reproduce?
Philip explained this more fully. Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing. But Philip was found at Azotus: and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea.
There are also people who claim that God does not produce children, or is incapable of doing so, or that the whole concept has nothing to do with any Israelite prophecy. These are false claims, not supported by Scripture. Obviously some heretic could write a different Gospel in which God did not have children and therefore did not have a son and therefore Jesus was not related to God. In such cases the heresy could be cooked up over a thousand years or so, complete with rewritten Scriptures, then after another thousand years the bogus material could be held up as bogus evidence for the bogus claims. But if that were the case, Philip would not be teaching The Truth and would not be endorsed by The Holy Spirit for his witness that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He would not have been sent to the eunuch with a false teaching and would not have been transported by The Holy Spirit to Azotus to continue his ministry.
But he was. The eunuch was saved. In this way we know that accepting Jesus as God's Son is the path to Salvation and that heretics are promoting garbage.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 32
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Remote Pensilvania
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
08-15-2018, 03:56 PM
I have repented! Blast the Trumpets 'till ears bleed for the Lord!
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,343
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
08-16-2018, 01:37 AM
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Feb 2021
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
02-03-2021, 10:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraham Meekly
Heavenly Father, I know that I am a sinner and unable to save myself. I believe that You love me and that You sent Your Son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. And, that You raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at Your right side in heaven. I confess Jesus as my Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead. I thank you for making me a new creature in Christ Jesus.
And Lord, I repent of my sins and ask You to forgive me of all my sins. Thank you for Your forgiveness and cleansing of my soul. I also ask that You help me to read and understand the Bible. To attend a Church that loves You and upholds the Bible as the inerrant inspired Word of God. And, I purpose to yield to thy Holy Spirit to lead me into all Truth and Righteousness. In Jesus name. I pray. Amen!
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Amen!
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Texas
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
02-08-2021, 05:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraham Meekly
Heavenly Father, I know that I am a sinner and unable to save myself. I believe that You love me and that You sent Your Son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. And, that You raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at Your right side in heaven. I confess Jesus as my Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead. I thank you for making me a new creature in Christ Jesus.
And Lord, I repent of my sins and ask You to forgive me of all my sins. Thank you for Your forgiveness and cleansing of my soul. I also ask that You help me to read and understand the Bible. To attend a Church that loves You and upholds the Bible as the inerrant inspired Word of God. And, I purpose to yield to thy Holy Spirit to lead me into all Truth and Righteousness. In Jesus name. I pray. Amen!
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Amen, brother!
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,343
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
02-10-2021, 02:06 AM
The disciples had been puzzled. Is attaining Heaven so difficult? Specific categories were mentioned: adulterers (incl. divorced persons) - eunuchs - murderers - thieves - perjurers - rebels & derelicts - those having great possessions - no Heaven for any of them.
Matthew 19:25-26 When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
With God all things are possible. Sometimes it's difficult to grasp what that means. The disciples must have read (or at least heard of) God's commandments and Jesus had cited Moses so someone must have known who he was. The point was that although by their own efforts, divorcées or murderers and others like that could never attain Salvation, for God the impossible is reality. Even degenerate heathens (and degenerate they must be since had they retained God in their knowledge throughout their descent from Adam, they would not be heathens) may be Saved.
Nowadays there's an agenda to establish secular values and offer alternative explanations for what God has revealed. They are strangely inconsistent. On the one hand, Jesus never existed (or if He did but not as described then all we're left with is that "Jesus" is a name which was never in dispute anyway) whereas on the other, He performed miracles which have naturalistic explanations such as post-mortem appearances caused by grief, separation anxiety and group hallucinations. Take your pick.
But always make it as complicated as possible.

My earlier map seems to have flown off into the aether but could do with updating so I'll fix that in asking, "How do you explain Philip's experience? Teleportation? Serendipitous wormhole? Hyperspace?" He had gone from Samaria to the Jerusalem-Gaza road, then spontaneously relocated to Azotus. Let's go with serendipitous wormhole. Its (internal) length is indeterminate, ok, but the distance to traverse in our mundane reality is fixed. Depending on how far along the road the Ethiopian had got, there is a maximum range.
Here is the map –›
They rode along, away from Jerusalem, as Philip explained why Jesus needed to die or more specifically why His blood needed to be drained out and dribble down onto the dirt. That can't happen without death occurring. So Jesus died. And since He was alive during all this He died horribly, jabbed with a spear, agony, despairing and all alone. He said so.
If they'd gotten along 4 miles from Jerusalem, it would be a 20 mile translation to Azotus; the miles from Jerusalem are shown along the road and the distance to Azotus next to the town. The Bible is clear that Philip did not walk there but if he had, you can guess the time it would take from the distance.
And this is where the false paradigm of secularism comes unstuck. Without a serendipitous wormhole opening up under Philip's feet as he jumped down from the chariot, what have they got? Maybe the Ethiopian sold him a teleporting device! Or what about, the chariot had hyperspace capabilities?
For mere humans such things are impossible. But as Matthew recorded, with God all things are possible. Even for the Lost to be Saved.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,614
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
02-11-2021, 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc_Niccals
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell.  
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That's true. With your attitude, you will see everyone in Hell, and they will see you. Meanwhile we'll be looking down at you from our place beside Jesus and laughing.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but demons have barbed t@11ywh@ck€r$ for a reason.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Oct 2022
Location: God's Country
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
10-24-2022, 06:26 AM
Thank you for this information!
[Came for people Stayed for God]
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,343
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
10-24-2022, 10:01 AM
I'm glad you have heard the message of Salvation, part of which is the reason why we need it. As we're already in the introduction forum I don't need to direct you there but perhaps in your own new thread you could give us some idea of how you were reminded that Jesus is the only one able to redeem us from the claim of sin. Other than blasphemies against The Holy Ghost, no sin however revolting can prevent God from loving you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
6. Is there an unpardonable sin?
But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
Mark 3:28-29
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God is clear there, there is never forgiveness for that.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,771
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
10-25-2022, 05:16 PM
Are people reatarded? I don't get it. It just escapes my ability to comprehend.
God and the Holy KJV Bible is so simple, even the daftest of minds can participate. Follow the Bible exactly how it is written. No need to 'understand this or that', just do what it says. Forget trying to find hidden meaning or Where is Waldo. God is everywhere. Give yourself to Him. Do not block Him from penetrating you, even during the darkest of hours.
Give to the Church. God sees your generosity. It does not matter what becomes of your gift. What matters is how much you give. The more you suffer, the more God knows you care about Him.
Become committed. Do not waver from your devotion. God will test you all the time. Anything and anyone that tries to cause you to deviate from the path to True Salvation™ is God testing you or Satan trying to lure you away from His Divinity. Stay Pure®.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,343
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
10-27-2022, 07:25 AM
Satan can be pretty sneaky but sometimes so obvious it beggars belief.
Jesus knew the most poverty stricken were able to contribute 100% but a trillion-fold fillip from the latest skanky billionaire would be worth far less by comparison. $100,000,000,000 ÷ 2˘ = 5,000,000,000,000 Christians have a single purpose in life: to be Christ's agents. Resources are important, but not only for Him. Satan also has an agenda and uses deception to fund it. Satan wants everyone to suffer as much as possible all the time and coopts the idea of sacrificial giving to suit his rotten plan. Assorted self-important cults exist for just that purpose, calling themselves this or that (I don't want to seem prejudiced but do they worship idols? Ganesh: elephant with 400 arms? Garuda: bird with teeth? The Moon: the moon? Mary: female human robed blue with the sky?) these also require funds and there's a simple "acid test" easy to apply. What are the outcomes. Does the world in which these other claims for dollars arise improve? or stay the same? or get worse? The reason I don't live in a hole in the ground is NOT because I gave dollars to those other freaks in whose countries nothing changed for centuries. It's because of Jesus. Jesus is better than anything.
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