Congratulations Freehold: National Review doesn't call us white trash dogs who deserve to die

Jeb Stuart Thurmond · 01:06 PM

The unexpected appearance of millions of Donald Trump supporters has caused True Conservatives to make a new discovery: working-class whites are exactly the same as ghetto-trash. Present company excluded.

And I really mean we're excluded: all the conservative movers and shakers I talk to always say "Freehold is the exception to the rule". If orientals are the "model minority", then Freehold is the "model whitey".

In Freehold, when white women get desperate for money, they get on their knees and pray. In the white trash towns everywhere else, they get on their knees and do...Other stuff.

So let's give ourselves a pat on the back:

The National Review is "America's most widely read and influential magazine and web site for conservative news, commentary, and opinion." Here's what they have to say about our rivals in other towns:

If you spend time in hardscrabble, white upstate New York, or eastern Kentucky, or my own native West Texas, and you take an honest look at the welfare dependency, the drug and alcohol addiction, the family anarchy — which is to say, the whelping of human children with all the respect and wisdom of a stray dog — you will come to an awful realization. It wasn’t Beijing. It wasn’t even Washington, as bad as Washington can be. It wasn’t immigrants from Mexico, excessive and problematic as our current immigration levels are. It wasn’t any of that.

Nothing happened to them. There wasn’t some awful disaster. There wasn’t a war or a famine or a plague or a foreign occupation. Even the economic changes of the past few decades do very little to explain the dysfunction and negligence — and the incomprehensible malice — of poor white America. So the gypsum business in Garbutt ain’t what it used to be. There is more to life in the 21st century than wallboard and cheap sentimentality about how the Man closed the factories down.

The truth about these dysfunctional, downscale communities is that they deserve to die. Economically, they are negative assets. Morally, they are indefensible. Forget all your cheap theatrical Bruce Springsteen crap. Forget your sanctimony about struggling Rust Belt factory towns and your conspiracy theories about the wily Orientals stealing our jobs. Forget your goddamned gypsum, and, if he has a problem with that, forget Ed Burke, too. The white American underclass is in thrall to a vicious, selfish culture whose main products are misery and used heroin needles. Donald Trump’s speeches make them feel good. So does OxyContin.

Working-class whites are the new blacks. Just in case someone mistook this article for a fluke, they published another article to double-down on their statement. The National Review:

Yet millions of Americans aren’t doing their best. Indeed, they’re barely trying. As I’ve related before, my church in Kentucky made a determined attempt to reach kids and families that were falling between the cracks, and it was consistently astounding how little effort most parents and their teen children made to improve their lives. If they couldn’t find a job in a few days — or perhaps even as little as a few hours — they’d stop looking. If they got angry at teachers or coaches, they’d drop out of school. If they fought with their wife, they had sex with a neighbor. And always — always — there was a sense of entitlement.

...At our local regional hospital, it’s become a bitter joke the extent to which the community is hooked on "Xanatab" — the Xanax and Lortab prescriptions that lead to drug dependence.

Now, you might say this is worse than cruelty, this is a blunder. Doesn't the GOP rely on votes from working-class whites?

Not necessarily. Why do you think we've been working so hard at Hispandering (and got so angry when Donald Trump messed up our "Spraytan Republicans" strategy?)

We don't need white people to work for us - that's why we smuggle in illegal immigrants. Now we don't need white people to vote for us either, for the same reason.

Well, that was the plan. Now it's going to be another 4 years until we've become the Republicanistas, and can finally throw the white trash overboard. Present company excluded, of course.

Johny Joe Hold

Great post, Brother Jeb.

If other white people would learn to pray and grow rich like the members of Landover Baptist Church in Freehold the words "white trash" would never be spoken. Jesus does not leave behind those who refuse to sin.

If I were to sum up the reason for our success, it is the sermons from Pastor Zeke we hear every Sunday.

Trent Harvey, Jr.

So now China has the factories and America has the opiate addicts.

Ezekiel Bathfire

Brother Jeb:

For the time being, the poor and the huddled masses who failed to leave that philosophy behind at Ellis Island, and equally failed to adopt the American Dream and Way of Life and wallowed in their own inherited ignorance and poverty are required. They provide an inalienable voter base who have been told what is good for them (guns and cheap booze and drugs) and happily accept their ordained lot in life. They are the Republican's burden, but there is no reason to do anything.

Jesus remarked that the poor are always with us (Matt:26:11) and this revelation enabled GOP to take a Christian approach without having to try to defy the Word of God. (After all, what would happen if there were no poverty? I’ll tell you – Jesus would be shown to be a liar – this is not possible, and thus there has to be some use for the poor.) The poor are going to heaven simply for being poor here on earth (Lu:16:22) - you and I have a spiritual journey to make through the eye of a needle.

As God makes people blind (John:9) to show how powerful He is – the poor are here to remind us to work harder and raise prices – shareholders rely on the likes of us.

Of course, the articles you quote seem to say that The Donald is a friend of the Poor – we’ll good for him! Jesus said He was a friend of the poor also.

I don’t think we need bother too much about the poor, but I do like the idea of recruiting more Hispanics – they are cheap and usually have little or no hope of progressing in life – as such they are grateful for anything they are offered.

As a bonus, it is as if we were giving large portions of our potential profits to the poor – and that is just what Jesus wants.

Levi Jones

Yes, well there's nothing wrong with those hillbilly crackers some Jesus wouldn't fix.

I think I will do something to make a difference in their lives. Off to my prayer closet!