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Unhappy How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 12-12-2013, 05:22 PM

Friends,

It is with great sadness that I report my youngest, Luke (age 9), was involved in a pretty serious accident. Besides Bible study, Luke and I like to watch the old spaghetti westerns, Luke especially likes the duals where a crack gunfighter will whip out his pistol, twirl it and shoot his opponent dead. So I asked Luke if he would like to learn that trick, and his eyes lit up. I told him to grab his .44 magnum and off we went.

At first he was doing pretty good, his aim was way off, but I didn't expect him to be shooting the eye's out of bald eagles (we're just bonding). It was then that he got cocky and it happened. Slamming his pistol back into his sling, it went off taking his manhood.

STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!! How many hours of gun safety have I taught that kid!?! He knows I remove the safety's on all our weapons. How could he have been this irresponsible?? And now...now I to explain to him that he is not worthy of Jesus' Kingdom, and that he most certainly will spend eternity in HELL!! The scriptures are clear:

Deuteronomy 23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.

How do I break the news to him? Should I tell him now, while he is here in the hospital? Or wait until he's better, maybe take him for a nice meal at Chic-Fil-A and let him know? What a shame, now he is completely useless...I might as well have a daughter My only solace is that when I get to heaven, I will completely forget Luke is burning in hell;

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 12-13-2013, 05:08 AM

I'd sell it to the Eurotrash papists. They collect blasphemous freaks like that.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 12-14-2013, 02:05 AM

Isn't simply quoting Deuteronomy 23:1 good enough?
That would be more than sufficient.
Or is your son retarded?


"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 12-14-2013, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Deuteronomy 23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
Brother Creaser, I feel for you. I don't want to give you too much hope, because you're probably right about this, but it just might be that God minds those who have their privy members cut off, but not those who have it shot off. Also, you can probably get this fixed by faith healing.

At the very least, you won't have to worry for a while about your son masturbating. So there is a silver lining.


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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-05-2014, 03:56 AM

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Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Friends,

It is with great sadness that I report my youngest, Luke (age 9), was involved in a pretty serious accident. Besides Bible study, Luke and I like to watch the old spaghetti westerns, Luke especially likes the duals where a crack gunfighter will whip out his pistol, twirl it and shoot his opponent dead. So I asked Luke if he would like to learn that trick, and his eyes lit up. I told him to grab his .44 magnum and off we went.

At first he was doing pretty good, his aim was way off, but I didn't expect him to be shooting the eye's out of bald eagles (we're just bonding). It was then that he got cocky and it happened. Slamming his pistol back into his sling, it went off taking his manhood.

STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!! How many hours of gun safety have I taught that kid!?! He knows I remove the safety's on all our weapons. How could he have been this irresponsible?? And now...now I to explain to him that he is not worthy of Jesus' Kingdom, and that he most certainly will spend eternity in HELL!! The scriptures are clear:

Deuteronomy 23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.

How do I break the news to him? Should I tell him now, while he is here in the hospital? Or wait until he's better, maybe take him for a nice meal at Chic-Fil-A and let him know? What a shame, now he is completely useless...I might as well have a daughter My only solace is that when I get to heaven, I will completely forget Luke is burning in hell;

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.



My friend. He isn't going to Hell, if you look in the Dictionary, Congregation means a CHURCH, SYNAGOGUE, GATHERING. It's church! It means that the person who cuts off their penis will not be allowed into the Synagogue. And you can go to Heaven without a penis. If Jesus came to die for ALL of our sins, why didn't he die for that one sin where to cut off your penis? It sounds quite mean for a LOVING savior to send you to Hell if you have no penis. Jesus died for every sin you committed. Past, present, and future. In my last two posts, I was quite aggressive when I didn't mean to be. Your son is safe, if he turned to Jesus to save him, he's saved and is GOING TO HEAVEN!
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 08:56 AM

What's... what's wrong with you? Not only do you blame your son for YOUR irresponsible and utterly retarded behaviour letting a 9 year old child handle a gun without teaching him to always put on the safety after you're done shooting? And how dare you pin it on him afterwards? How much of a low life scum are you? Fearing the life out of him by considering telling him that he won't go to heaven, in what way will that help him?! Just think how bullied he'll be in class and for the rest of his life and you won't be there to support cause of your BIBLE who claims that he's useless? You spineless coward. "Now he is completely useless, I might as well have a daughter"... You are a disgrace to mankind. WHY would you love your son LESS because he does not have a penis?! And those of you taking his side, damn lunatics. How can you support this? Americans, or should I say religious people, you preach so higly about morale, love, support, yet you abandon it at the same time... mormons.

But I guess it's true, a flower doesn't choose where to grow just as much as a child does not choose its parents. And in this case, it's a damn shame.
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 10:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecuriosity View Post
What's... what's wrong with you? Not only do you blame your son for YOUR irresponsible and utterly retarded behaviour letting a 9 year old child handle a gun without teaching him to always put on the safety after you're done shooting? And how dare you pin it on him afterwards? How much of a low life scum are you? Fearing the life out of him by considering telling him that he won't go to heaven, in what way will that help him?! Just think how bullied he'll be in class and for the rest of his life and you won't be there to support cause of your BIBLE who claims that he's useless? You spineless coward. "Now he is completely useless, I might as well have a daughter"... You are a disgrace to mankind. WHY would you love your son LESS because he does not have a penis?! And those of you taking his side, damn lunatics. How can you support this? Americans, or should I say religious people, you preach so higly about morale, love, support, yet you abandon it at the same time... mormons.

But I guess it's true, a flower doesn't choose where to grow just as much as a child does not choose its parents. And in this case, it's a damn shame.
It's not like children are innocent, you know. Each and every embryo is a vile sinner in the eyes of God.

Ps 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

R. C. Sproul Jr once said, "Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once, and He volunteered."

Jesus was the only Person ever to suffer unjustly, and He bore His suffering willingly -- except when He nearly changed His mind in the Garden of Gethsemane (Lk 22:41-42).


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 12:15 PM

"It's not like children are innocent, you know. Each and every embryo is a vile sinner in the eyes of God." But that's not the point! This is a childs life we're talking about! And you rather sit giving advices on if he'll go to heaven or hell. What's wrong with you people?! This is a childs life! He needs support and love, not a freaking monster who'll tell that he'll go to hell. Yes, I am an athiest. What does your religion really stand for? Exciling everyone who's not like you? Meh, it's not that I'm against your beliefs it's just that... how can this man be so horrible against his own child... and you are supporting it? It really isn't for the greater good... Please, the father, don't cause your child anymore harm...
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 05:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecuriosity View Post
What's... what's wrong with you? Not only do you blame your son for YOUR irresponsible and utterly retarded behaviour letting a 9 year old child handle a gun without teaching him to always put on the safety after you're done shooting? And how dare you pin it on him afterwards? How much of a low life scum are you? Fearing the life out of him by considering telling him that he won't go to heaven, in what way will that help him?! Just think how bullied he'll be in class and for the rest of his life and you won't be there to support cause of your BIBLE who claims that he's useless? You spineless coward. "Now he is completely useless, I might as well have a daughter"... You are a disgrace to mankind. WHY would you love your son LESS because he does not have a penis?! And those of you taking his side, damn lunatics. How can you support this? Americans, or should I say religious people, you preach so higly about morale, love, support, yet you abandon it at the same time... mormons.

But I guess it's true, a flower doesn't choose where to grow just as much as a child does not choose its parents. And in this case, it's a damn shame.

If you read closely, you'll see that Brother John had already REMOVED the safetys. So the kid should have been even MORE careful. Dont blame John on this one.


Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 05:31 PM

The child is 9... 9 YEARS old... what do you expect? And his father KNEW that he liked the western movies "flipp the gun when putting it back" so yes it's the fathers FAULT. And I still can't get over the fact that he's trying to pin this on his son and then hides behind his bibel. You people disgust me.
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 05:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecuriosity View Post
"It's not like children are innocent, you know. Each and every embryo is a vile sinner in the eyes of God." But that's not the point! This is a childs life we're talking about! And you rather sit giving advices on if he'll go to heaven or hell. What's wrong with you people?! This is a childs life! He needs support and love, not a freaking monster who'll tell that he'll go to hell. Yes, I am an athiest. What does your religion really stand for? Exciling everyone who's not like you? Meh, it's not that I'm against your beliefs it's just that... how can this man be so horrible against his own child... and you are supporting it? It really isn't for the greater good... Please, the father, don't cause your child anymore harm...
Sheesh pal, I've read some pretty choice vitriol on here from atheists, but you rank pretty high. Look, would you rather me lie to him and risk eternal damnation myself? (Proverbs 19:9). You think this is easy for me (or my wife)? According to scripture the boy is headed to hell. I didn't make the rules, God did!!

I love my son, very much, and I have to live each day knowing he won't be with me in heaven. I just have to trust that Jesus had a reason and it's not my place to question Him. Of course my son didn't take the news very well, but I think he already knew (as he is well versed in the scriptures). I don't think he's eaten anything in a week. Then again, maybe it's best he pass quickly and not shame the family any more than he already has.
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 06:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
and not shame the family any more than he already has.
You're in our prayers Brother. Your pain must be great.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 11:52 PM

I'll say a prayer for you Brother Cresser. Your shame of having a unich for a son must be very painful.




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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-06-2014, 11:56 PM

Can't he pray for a new one?


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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 02:47 AM

The short answer is that you have to beat the truth into him. If he beats it out, you beat him up.

If you are looking for materials to help explain this to him after the beating, you can't beat this fast-paced, entertaining, and educational sermon:



This is a question that keeps coming up, so I'm going to suggest to our good pastors that, next year, we have a masturbation-themed Hell House. That should set the kiddies on the right path.


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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 05:44 AM

Penises are useless anyway, since it is God who makes babies, not human beings.


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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 06:28 PM

WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU? WHAT WAS THE POINT IN TELLING HIM? HA?! WHY DID HE NEED TO KNOW THAT HE WAS GOING TO "HELL" IF HE WAS GOING TO ANYWAY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SUFFER HIM WHEN HE WAS THAT YOUNG? YOU FREAK. YOU SHOULD GET ARRESTED. IF YOUR SON DIES IT'LL BE ON YOUR HANDS. NOT "GOD", NOT ANYONE ELSE... YOU. We live in such a unfair/retarded world... I don't know how many times I have hammered my desk just thinking of that boy. You are a monster, and if there ever is a so called heaven you will not part with it when you die. You should have known better than to take guidance from a book written sever hundreds years ago... I pity you, you monster...
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 06:59 PM

You should tell him right away as well as putting him up for adoption. You are a good Christian you do not deserve a hellbound "son".
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 07:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecuriosity View Post
WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU? WHAT WAS THE POINT IN TELLING HIM? HA?! WHY DID HE NEED TO KNOW THAT HE WAS GOING TO "HELL" IF HE WAS GOING TO ANYWAY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SUFFER HIM WHEN HE WAS THAT YOUNG? YOU FREAK. YOU SHOULD GET ARRESTED. IF YOUR SON DIES IT'LL BE ON YOUR HANDS. NOT "GOD", NOT ANYONE ELSE... YOU. We live in such a unfair/retarded world... I don't know how many times I have hammered my desk just thinking of that boy. You are a monster, and if there ever is a so called heaven you will not part with it when you die. You should have known better than to take guidance from a book written sever hundreds years ago... I pity you, you monster...
Hmmm I was just reading your intro thread...where it says you are not here to breed hate. Right.

You seem to be confused. I am going to heaven, I've been washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. It is unfortunate my son is not, but that is not up to me, did you not read the scripture I posted above??

When this first happened I was angry, confused as to why the Lord would smite His humble servant. I spent many, many hours praying for God to answer. He didn't. Like so many before me I am being tested. (1 Peter 5:10, James 1:12).

I calm now in God's grace and the boy has accepted his fate as well (yes, he's eating again). I'll pray hard for one of those 3D printers, maybe modern science can do something to restore his manhood (and he can be Saved again).

In the meantime, I'll pray for you as well and continue to accept your insults in the name of God.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
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Default Re: How do I explain to my son he is going to HELL for shooting off his "manhood" - 01-07-2014, 07:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecuriosity View Post
YOU FREAK. YOU SHOULD GET ARRESTED.
For teaching his child what the Holy Bible says?



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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