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Default Lauren Boebert's penis harem makes the news! - 03-11-2023, 10:07 AM

We give glory to God for Lauren Boebert's love of a good ol' fashioned throbbing penis, and how she herself went weak-kneed in post-pubescent female lust, after her future-husband Jayson exposed his tattooed member to her at the Rifle Fireside Lanes. Lauren could barely jump into the back seat of Jayson's dune buggy fast enough to lock her ankles behind her ears and conceive their first child. That was when Lauren was 17 years old and before she dropped out of high school in order to raise her son--the one whose penis-wielding, manly exploits are currently in the news. It turns out that Lauren passed down her family values to 17-year-old Tyler. Tyler is recognized as seminally ignorant of sex education knowledge, which is a remarkable example of purity, for which Lauren received the Mothers Influence Award from Moms for America earlier this month, according to People magazine. Meanwhile, Tyler's girlfriend has reportedly already applied for her SNAP and EBT benefits at the Garfield County Human Services office in Rifle. Meanwhile, Tyler's brother Kaydon is reassuring Tyler that his life isn't over, yet, and there's still time for him to get a penis tattoo like their father's.



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Default Re: Lauren Boebert's penis harem makes the news! - 03-11-2023, 07:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
We give glory to God for Lauren Boebert's love of a good ol' fashioned throbbing penis, and how she herself went weak-kneed in post-pubescent female lust, after her future-husband Jayson exposed his tattooed member to her at the Rifle Fireside Lanes. Lauren could barely jump into the back seat of Jayson's dune buggy fast enough to lock her ankles behind her ears and conceive their first child. That was when Lauren was 17 years old and before she dropped out of high school in order to raise her son--the one whose penis-wielding, manly exploits are currently in the news. It turns out that Lauren passed down her family values to 17-year-old Tyler. Tyler is recognized as seminally ignorant of sex education knowledge, which is a remarkable example of purity, for which Lauren received the Mothers Influence Award from Moms for America earlier this month, according to People magazine. Meanwhile, Tyler's girlfriend has reportedly already applied for her SNAP and EBT benefits at the Garfield County Human Services office in Rifle. Meanwhile, Tyler's brother Kaydon is reassuring Tyler that his life isn't over, yet, and there's still time for him to get a penis tattoo like their father's.

Well, I suppose these things happen in the best of families, dear Brother Lee, and it's a good example of why we need to pray — fervently — for Mrs. Boebert and her fine family. Oh, I know the devil will inspire the Clinton News Network (and other fake news types) to make much of this sort of thing, but we also know that the is faithful, and forgiving!

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

John 15:5 "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing."

Mind you, this is not going to be an easy time for the Boeberts. Already, the followers of Satan have gotten together to plot unkind things to be shared on the public interwebs galaxy!
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Default Re: Lauren Boebert's penis harem makes the news! - 03-11-2023, 08:17 PM

I wonder if the younger Boebert used the same failsafe strategy as his father? Do we have photographs posted online of the winning tattoo (I mean, yes undoubtedly, but can someone find it please)? I'm sure many gentlemen would like to know the secret.


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Default Re: Lauren Boebert's penis harem makes the news! - 03-12-2023, 07:52 AM

I Corinthians 1:28-29
And base things of the world, and things which
are despised hath God chosen, yea, and things
whicharenot, tobringtonoughtthingsthatare:
that no flesh should glory in his presence.

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Default Re: Lauren Boebert's penis harem makes the news! - 03-13-2023, 03:56 PM

Indeed, Sister. It's like the prophet said:

"Thou art greatly despised" (Obadiah 1:2).

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I Corinthians 1:28-29
And base things of the world, and things which
are despised hath God chosen, yea, and things
whicharenot, tobringtonoughtthingsthatare:
that no flesh should glory in his presence.



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