[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by opusdeis'notok

some thigns are "designed" naturaly but nothing in nature was designed bye some intelligence.

Really, care to describe any "undesigned" organisms friend? Do keep on entertaining us with your stupidity.

[True Disciple]

Originally Posted by opusdeis'notok

lol.i can'tbelieve this.you guys all think everything was designed bye someone?bye some guy who is suppose to be god and makes designs for every little thing there is.

He is the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth. How could anything exist that is not created by Him? You aren't making much sense, friend.

and i guess besides being a designer,he is a vojeur watching if people sodomize or not so that he can send them to hell?

He is omnipresent. He can't help it that He is present when you fornicate, but He is very angry that He has to see it.

i once time devoted a lot of time and energy to make a cucumber shaped p00p.i then froze it so that it could be hard and sold it to a local gay guy.

What on earth makes you think we are interested in what you do when you are on the toilet? In what kind of insane asylum do you live? Does the nurse know you are posting here?

so i guess i am god,becouse how else could something be that well shaped to fit in someones buttttt.such un intelligent design.oh its not a plant.ups.then i am not god i guess.

You are not God. Humans, even clearly unintelligent ones like you, can design things as well now. This is a typical case of stupid design, as it clearly is one of the most pointless activities I've heard of in a while.

but its a coincidence that you can stick it up yours.a cucumber.

It is so perfectly designed, but just because you do not want to believe in God, no matter what, you are denying this obvious fact, chalking it all up to coincidence? How gullible are you?

i mean if god doesnt like sodomy why would he make things that remind people of it and that can use this things to practice sodomy.he wouldn't have made them becouse he doesnt like to see people making sins.lol

Don't be stupid. God gave us free will, so we had a free choice to go to Hell, if we did not want to go to Heaven. He has given us the possibility to sin, but He also needed to give us opportunities to do that. Therefore, he gave us the cucumber.

[IMG]file:///C:/Users/ziga/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png[/IMG][IMG]file:///C:/Users/ziga/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.png[/IMG]

That's beautiful, friend.

Originally Posted by opusdeis'notok

some thigns are "designed" naturaly but nothing in nature was designed bye some intelligence.to design something is to shape it the way you want it to,so that it looks the way you imagined it.and if god designed the cucumber.why aren't all of them identical.

Humans aren't identical either. God designed different shapes of cucumbers, so that each person could find a cucumber that fits him best. It is very logical, when you think of it.

they are not all the same shape and size.and why aren't they growing all over the world for all of gods sheeps to enjoy.i guess he made more designes so that they would not all be identical.

Well, we've discussed that before, didn't we? God gave maize cobs to the Mayas. He truly is a Just God.

stupid thread.i'll stop now.bye bye

Now you're using the word "bye" as you should, grammatically speaking. And the thread wasn't stupid until you arrived, you know.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by opusdeis'notok

if god designed the cucumber.why aren't all of them identical

Because He didn't design them that way. Why are these simple things not obvious to you?

[NightStik]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Biologists freely admit there is designer for all living things. What do you think evolution is about? Plants and animals doesn't just randomly poof into existence. Either some natural force "designed" them or some intelligence. One thing both creationists and evolutionist agree on is planets and animals didn't just appear out of nothing, uninfluenced by any outside force.

Gods, you are fool Opusdies. Go do some reading over your own kid before you try to lecture us adults.

Evolution says nothing about how life came to be. It only gives reason for diversity.

Originally Posted by True Disciple

No, never. Is that an adjective used for objects that are shaped like a coin's side or something (coin-side-ncy)? Do you think we want to know what sickening acts you perform with such objects?

Anyway, a cucumber definitely isn't shaped like a coin's side.

Funny how you completely dodged the question with childish games.

Now, instead of running from it, answer it: why can the shape of cucumbers not be a coincidence? Consider the number of species of fruit-bearing-plants out there, then consider that one (although many others do as well) happens to be a shape suitable for use in a particular way.

Claiming that it's perfect is fallacious. If cucumbers didn't exist, you'd be claiming that carrots or courgettes are homosexual-traps instead. You consider the cucumber "perfect" for insertion because it is the most perfect one; in its absence, another fruit or vegetable would be the "perfect" one, and so on, because it would be the best there is. I can, however, envision a fruit that would be far superior to cucumbers for sodomites' use: one that feels like the flesh of the human penis, for example, as opposed to being hard. A much better "sex toy fruit" can easily be conceived, so the cucumber is not perfect for the job. This should be sufficient evidence to warrant the claim that cucumbers are coincidentally good for things other than eating.

Similarly, I could claim that watermelons are a trap for sodomites because they simulate the sensation of a vagina when heated; it is the perfect candidate to make an artificial vagina, and evolution cannot provide for this trait, so it must have been intelligently designed as such. However, it only appears to be perfect for the job because it is the best fruit or vegetable we know of that can be used for this purpose. (I'll clarify that I cannot speak from first-hand experience on this matter, but I have heard the joke of "leaving the watermelon out in the sun" enough times to know that it's been done.)

If you want to solidly prove that God exists by saying that cucumbers are intended to tempt sodomites, you must solidly prove that God made them that way. However, the only way you have come to that conclusion is a leap of faith based on your understanding, something that atheists are unable to follow. As such, it may be convincing for True Christians, but not for others.

By a similar grace, though, I wholly understand why a cucumber is perfect proof of God to a Christian; simply looking at the beauty of the world we live in is proof of some brilliant creation, without even having to get into the details. But atheists and the faithless can't see through the same perspective that you have, and there's nothing wrong with that. After all, perspective is just another product of our free will. Since the weak-faithed cannot look at the Bible as simple proof of God's existence, they'll need the answer in a language they can understand (please don't make a demeaning response about intelligence to that line; I simply mean it as a grounds for explaining the difficulties theists and atheists have in understanding one another).

I apologize in advance if any part of this post comes off as intolerant or offensive. I simply mean to offer my input on the subject. Atheists try to find reason rather than have faith (not saying that one is better than the other), so convincing an atheist of God's existence will require solid reasoning, and the possibility of the coincidence of the cucumber's shape is something that should be addressed to completely affirm the cucumber argument.

I look forward to your responses.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .


Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by NightStik

I could claim that watermelons are a trap for sodomites because they simulate the sensation of a vagina when heated; it is the perfect candidate to make an artificial vagina

You, my friend, have a very sick mind.

Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell .

[True Disciple]

Originally Posted by NightStik

Funny how you completely dodged the question with childish games.

Oh, did I?

Originally Posted by True Disciple

It is so perfectly designed, but just because you do not want to believe in God, no matter what, you are denying this obvious fact, chalking it all up to coincidence? How gullible are you?

God hates liars, friend!

Originally Posted by NightStik

Now, instead of running from it, answer it: why can the shape of cucumbers not be a coincidence? Consider the number of species of fruit-bearing-plants out there, then consider that one (although many others do as well) happens to be a shape suitable for use in a particular way.

As I said, this is very unlikely. You might just as well say that a nail-clipper just happens to be very good at clipping nails by coincidence. If you did, everyone would declare you a madman, and rightly so.
How, then, do you think that this kind of argument suddenly becomes rational when applied to cucumbers, solely because you desperately do not want to believe in God?

Claiming that it's perfect is fallacious. If cucumbers didn't exist, you'd be claiming that carrots or courgettes are homosexual-traps instead.

We already have solved that problem. You must understand that the cucumber was not an endemic vegetable to all countries of the world, so God made multiple traps for homers.

And carrots likely do not have the shape they have as a trap for gays. Creation Researchers recently suggested that God gave the carrots their elongated shape because it would be easier to peel a carrot using a peeler that way. Isn't it wonderful, the way He perfected His Creation in even the tiniest details?

You consider the cucumber "perfect" for insertion because it is the most perfect one; in its absence, another fruit or vegetable would be the "perfect" one, and so on, because it would be the best there is.

I already answered this. God gave different people different vegetables. Mayas, for example, got zucchinis (courgettes in your demonic language), as they didn't have cucumbers.

---perverted vegetable fetishist fantasies deleted---

---demon talk about watermelon sex---

God didn't perfect the cucumber more because He didn't want to make the temptation too strong. After all, He said:

Deuteronomy 30:11-14:
For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not hidden from thee, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?
Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?
But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

God fine-tuned His Creation, so that the temptations were exactly as big as He wanted. And He didn't want them to be too strong. His Love and Understanding are great!

If you want to solidly prove that God exists by saying that cucumbers are intended to tempt sodomites, you must solidly prove that God made them that way.

Okay, if you want to:

Genesis 1:11-12:
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

There you go!

Since the weak-faithed cannot look at the Bible as simple proof of God's existence, they'll need the answer in a language they can understand

Well, I'm afraid God is not going to change His Message just to make it more likely for the atheist mind. The choice He presents is Believe or Burn. And the reason atheists do not accept His Truth is as follows:

2 Corinthians 4:4:
In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

In short, Satan has blinded them to the Truth™.

I hope you've learned something from this, boy.

[NightStik]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .


Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

My apologies, Pastor. I was simply tempted to respond because this thread is based on a challenge posed to atheists. Bobby offered $10,000 to anyone who can refute it, so I was accepting the challenge.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by NightStik

My apologies, Pastor. I was simply tempted to respond because this thread is based on a challenge posed to atheists. Bobby offered $10,000 to anyone who can refute it, so I was accepting the challenge.

Well it looks like you owe us $10,000, pal. We take Visa, Mastercard, Amex and gold bullion.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by NightStik

(snip)

I look forward to your responses.

Friend,

We forgive you for your intolerance as the good Christians we are. We understand the unsaved are not as full of it when it comes to love as us TRUE Christians.

As I pointed out other vegetables textures make them less suitable for self sodomy. The cucumber still is the vegetable most suitable for unnatural acts. You mention watermellons but savages wouldn't have the option of heating the watermellon up so how would that fit into God's plan of Self Damnation for all?

The same goes for vegtables that blatently copy human repoductive orgins. Something so avert would be detected and elminated by the virtuous. Even the depraved, like say Californians, would be uncomfortble with eating something that looks and feels like a human body part so the plant with those characteristics simply wouldn't be domesticated and not widely avialble to potental self-sodomites. No, for God's plan of Self Damnation to work the vegtable needs to be plausebly differnats enough from a male gentila while at the same time close enough to suggest it. Excite but not disgust is the rule of the game here.

I think you comepletly missundestand me here friend; I am not arguing cucumbers are beautiful, therefore God exists. I am agruing cucumbers make a good sex toy, therefore God exists. Remember; God, and only God as described in The Bible, cares about what we stick up our ass.

I welcome your responce friend.

[Random guy]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Well it looks like you owe us $10,000, pal. We take Visa, Mastercard, Amex and gold bullion.

WRONG. it was a challenge, not a bet. If it were a bet, then yea, he'd owe you.



Now to list off all the different things you can shove up yuor ass!

PO-TA-TOS
Bananas
Zucchini
All the different colored peppers.
Corn
a Loaf of bread
Carrots
Sausages

And anything else that’s shaped like a tube of some sort.

Things that can be used as butt plugs.

Oranges
Tomatoes
Apples
Pears
Plums
Kiewees
Approcots
Peaches
MOAR PPEPPERS
Unions

and so on

UH OH you all better stop buying/ growing this stuff if you don't want to be sent to HELL FIRE.

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Random guy

WRONG. it was a challenge, not a bet. If it were a bet, then yea, he'd owe you.



Now to list off all the different things you can shove up yuor ass!

PO-TA-TOS
Bananas
Zucchini
All the different colored peppers.
Corn
a Loaf of bread
Carrots
Sausages

And anything else that’s shaped like a tube of some sort.

Things that can be used as butt plugs.

Oranges
Tomatoes
Apples
Pears
Plums
Kiewees
Approcots
Peaches
MOAR PPEPPERS
Unions

and so on

UH OH you all better stop buying/ growing this stuff if you don't want to be sent to HELL FIRE.

You know this from experience?

[True Disciple]

Originally Posted by Random guy

WRONG. it was a challenge, not a bet. If it were a bet, then yea, he'd owe you.



Now to list off all the different things you can shove up yuor ass!

PO-TA-TOS
Bananas
Zucchini
All the different colored peppers.
Corn
a Loaf of bread
Carrots
Sausages

And anything else that’s shaped like a tube of some sort.

Things that can be used as butt plugs.

Oranges
Tomatoes
Apples
Pears
Plums
Kiewees
Approcots
Peaches
MOAR PPEPPERS
Unions

and so on

UH OH you all better stop buying/ growing this stuff if you don't want to be sent to HELL FIRE.

I only agree with the the thing about Unions, but that is meant metaphorically. I despise communists.

So you have grown a sausage tree? I stand in awe of your talents in your kitchen garden.

And, really, peppers? What if they break? Do you have any sense of self-preservation, boy?

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Random guy

WRONG. it was a challenge, not a bet. If it were a bet, then yea, he'd owe you.



Now to list off all the different things you can shove up yuor ass!

PO-TA-TOS
Bananas
Zucchini
All the different colored peppers.
Corn
a Loaf of bread
Carrots
Sausages

And anything else that’s shaped like a tube of some sort.

Things that can be used as butt plugs.

Oranges
Tomatoes
Apples
Pears
Plums
Kiewees
Approcots
Peaches
MOAR PPEPPERS
Unions

and so on

UH OH you all better stop buying/ growing this stuff if you don't want to be sent to HELL FIRE.

Don't be sick, only a pervert would shove peppers up their backside. I discount your answer for shear absurdity.

[PreacherQuentin]

Originally Posted by Talitha

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

first off... WOW! jvst WOW!!!
second, why do yov believe what evaar story he told yov?
third, why was there cvcvmbers in the shower?

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by PreacherQuentin

first off... WOW! jvst WOW!!!
second, why do yov believe what evaar story he told yov?
third, why was there cvcvmbers in the shower?

A lot of people keep cucumbers in their showers. What's you point? There some rule on what people use to scrap dead skin off their body with?

[Bad Boy Jawesome]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

A lot of people keep cucumbers in their showers. What's you point? There some rule on what people use to scrap dead skin off their body with?

my point is it sovnds, not saying it is becavse i had nevaar heard of n e one cleaning themselves with cvcvmbers vntil now, bvt it sovnds like he was pleasvring himself with the thing and it went vp to far as to where he covld not retrieve it, so they needed doctors, i mean that is jvst what first comes to my mind, jvst sayin y'all

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Bad Boy Jawesome

my point is it sovnds, not saying it is becavse i had nevaar heard of n e one cleaning themselves with cvcvmbers vntil now, bvt it sovnds like he was pleasvring himself with the thing and it went vp to far as to where he covld not retrieve it, so they needed doctors, i mean that is jvst what first comes to my mind, jvst sayin y'all

That's sick friend, do you seriously think Freehold is filled with repressed homosexuals in sham marriages whose frustrated sexuality manifests itself in dangerous and bizarrely deviant sex acts?

You sir are the pervert here. I hope you repent of your depravity before Satan has you bent over a magma vent in Hell.

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

A lot of people keep cucumbers in their showers. What's you point? There some rule on what people use to scrap dead skin off their body with?

Cucumbers supposed to be excellent for keeping the wrinkles at bay.

[Sister Charli]

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod

Cucumbers supposed to be excellent for keeping the wrinkles at bay.

Oh yes Sister B.I.G.

Cucumber is an astringent and very good as a toner after you wash your face.