False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more! |
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-16-2020, 02:58 AM
Hate Atheists? So do we! So does Jesus!
Your typical atheist
Smokes marijuana
Associates with Jews
Masturbates chronically
Wears masks (mark of the beast?)
Has blind faith in Charles Darwin
Worships at the altar of the internet
Every religion except True Christianity™ is blind faith. Unlike every other religious text, there is pure, clear evidence the Holy Bible is true, every word. After all, it is the most accurate historical and scientific record in the history of mankind. Atheism cannot boast this, so in their despair atheists get high on pot and engage in furiously rapid, pounding, slimy, sloshy anal sex. Did you know Vaseline stopped selling its petroleum jelly in major Sodomite friendly cities like Seattle and San Francisco, California? It’s because all the gays out there are using gallons and gallons of it, dripping so much on the sidewalks that people have been slipping and breaking bones, threatening to sue the city (sodomites in Oakland, California don’t have the money for Vaseline so they have contests to see who survives the greatest assault to the bum and can walk away without help). Of course it stinks. It’s worse than pollution. It’s spiritual pollution. With bits of microscopic fecal matter and sin.
Even without the Holy Bible, it’s really remarkably amazingly easy to believe in God. Even the most dull witted simpleton can believe in God. Jesus shows his face everywhere, from chips to clouds mold stains. Atheists have no Bible. They have no miracles. They have the AIDS, and they eat each others’ pooh. That’s disgusting. They have no pride in themselves and yet they are not humble. They are repulsive. They hate themselves and for good reason.
Landover Baptist Church will soon be starting its popular Atheist Awareness Week, and True Christians™ can register in the office. As always there is a 5% discount for cash, and 10% discount for an acceptable donation to Pastor Zeke’s Jet Fund. Learn how to avoid the atheist whenever possible, rebuke them when avoidance isn’t possible, and successfully share the Good News that Jesus will spare us from them in His Good Time!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-16-2020, 04:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DominiqueDomgaard
or asexual as you might call it
|
People of marriageable age who do not get married are always fat and ugly. I call them fat and ugly.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-16-2020, 02:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Hate Atheists? So do we! So does Jesus!
Your typical atheist
Smokes marijuana
Associates with Jews
Masturbates chronically
Wears masks (mark of the beast?)
Has blind faith in Charles Darwin
Worships at the altar of the internet
|
This list is so helpful. We who soldier on against atheists sometimes forget the comprehensive nature of the illness.
I'm interested especially in this mask thing. Outside of Freehold one see these masks everywhere. I think we should point and shout "ATHEIST" every time we see one.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-16-2020, 03:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DominiqueDomgaard
These special atheists are of the ACE variety; or asexual as you might call it.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
People of marriageable age who do not get married are always fat and ugly. I call them fat and ugly.
|
I believe the politically correct name for these people is incels, isn't it?
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-17-2020, 01:35 PM
Atheism is the ultimate expression of cancel culture--they want to cancel God. This would let them get on with their lives without feeling guilty about enjoying sex. They disgust me!
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
|
|
An old soul
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 5,207
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-18-2020, 02:15 AM
It's so refreshing to get back to basics. Atheists make everything so complicated with legalistic arguments and proofs. STOP. It's not complicated.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-18-2020, 01:34 PM
This Atheist Awareness Week got me to thinking, will there be a parade? And, if there is a parade, what will those in the parade be wearing or displaying?
The only thing they could carry in a parade would "signs" on sticks. The signs would have to be blank because atheists don't believe anything. Here is a picture from a neighborhood atheist celebration:
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,343
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-18-2020, 03:02 PM
Christians are easy to spot. Look at this modest girl's image.
The dainty bow is another giveaway. Though, I wish that she didn't have quite so much clavicle on display.
Now, this is the look of an atheist.
That's a girl, by the way.
Clearly, we can see that atheism makes for hair loss in females and a general nastiness and angry countenance from each and every one of them.
There are many good reasons to believe in God. Avoiding physical ugliness is only one of them.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Forum member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
|
|
Re: Atheist Awareness Week Coming Soon! -
07-18-2020, 03:02 PM
I always thought Atheist Day was April 1.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. Psalm 14:1
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|