[Rev. Rick James]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Then why are you here? Jesus called you here for a reason, boy. He wants you to stop worshiping Charles Dawkins and worship Him instead.

Jesus doesn't want you to go to hell, but He'll send you there if you force Him to.

So.. He doesn't want me to go there.. But he'll laugh his ass off and take pleasure in my screams if I do?

That sounds a bit off to me..

[Gunna_B_Saved]

I'm not suprised that these faggot japanese homers are putting out another gay recruitment "game"

This isn't the first time these "men" have disgraced Jesus with their sins. In addition to all the other Super Mario games, just look what these blasphemers have done to the holy image of Christ on the cross [offensive website link deleted by JesOS©]

[gm jack]

Yoshi lays eggs. Therefore, Yoshi is female. Might want to edit the list slightly.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by gm jack

Yoshi lays eggs. Therefore, Yoshi is female. Might want to edit the list slightly.

More queer propaganda. The japs did that on purpose to make you think that a male might bear children instead of females the way God intended. Plus, "Yoshi" is a male name without a doubt. My laundry boy in Tokyo is called Yoshi. And he does not lay eggs.

[Rev. Rick James]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Jesus called you here for a reason, boy.

Boy? Really? How old are you, 19? I'm surprised you're not being molested by some catholic bishop right now.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Rev. Rick James

Boy? Really? How old are you, 19? I'm surprised you're not being molested by some catholic bishop right now.

My goodness! The mouth on you.

You know Jesus is going to judge you for every word you uttered at the end of the world, don't you?

Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Rev. Rick James

Boy? Really? How old are you, 19? I'm surprised you're not being molested by some catholic bishop right now.

What makes you imagine that I would associate with a papist? Catholic Mary-worshipers aren't even Christians.

[god's 404]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Landover Baptist is as real the the love of Jesus friend.

Do you think trying to indoctrinate small children into sexual depravity is funny friend? If you think we are making a few cheep jokes here you are sadly mistaken friend. Just a quick look around at this forum shows no one is laughing at a "few, cheep jokes".

i dont know i have been laughing so hard since i have been looking around this forum i cant believe some of the things you people believe after reading over just 10 or so pages i have came to the conclusion that not only am i going to hell which i could careless about but so is the rest of the world including every one of you so i think your all wrong but i love this site cause it gives me the best laughs

oh and FYI i think that before you form oppenions about a game and the people that play it you should probably play the game and not just look at the cover dont you know you not suppose to judge a book by its cover that goes for games too

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by god's 404

you not suppose to judge a book by its cover that goes for games too

How am I supposed to know whether I want to read it or not?

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

1. I real life, bullet's aren't black, or even visible in flight. In Mario's escapist homo-utopia, they are a big black phallic symbol, referencing interracial gay sex.

2. The turtle reaching for his groin, which is obscured by a gob of white stuff. The face on the "cloud" has its cheeks stuffed with something. You can guess what.

3. Yoshi looks even more effeminate that usual, and has his mouth at groin height.

4. Prancing mushroom-men are explicity homosexual. Just look at the open shirts and limp wrists. There's a pair of them - no mushroom-woman to be seen.

5. Font is specifically designed to have as many soft round buttock shapes as possible. The "M" and "W" have the most obvious resemblence to the supple, soft-yet-firm buttocks of a somewhat chubby young "twink", but even the "B" and "R" bring jiggling bumcheeks to mind.

6. Every seen grass that looks like the grass in Mario's world? Or dirt that looks like that? No - just another excuses for more buttock-shpes.

7. Turtle is prancing. Nobody just walks in Mario's escapist homo-utopia.

Here is a closeup of some other promotional material for New Super Mario Bros Wii:



1. Two Yoshi's being "mounted". Notice no female Yoshis.

2. Lugi is holding on to the yellow mushroom man's groin.

3. Red yoshi's tounge is between Luigi's legs, commiting oral-anal sex (known as "dining at the O").

4. At bottom, a negro "twink". Notice there are no negress mushrooms.

5. And always the pipe. Mario gets coins when he slides down pipes. Teaching kids prostitution early.

6. Magic Mushrooms make Mario grow bigger. Homosexuals are known to use certain mushrooms as aphrodesiacs.

Also, when Mario finishes a level, he jumps on a flagpole, and with the pole between his legs, his slides down. Then he ends it all with a terrorist fist jab.

1. That is "Bullet Bill" and it is shaped like a bullet, not male genitalia. When it hits a character, that character becomes injured or dies just like if you get hit with a bullet in real life. Being that this is a childrens game, it's made to look less scary.

2. This is a Lakitu who is not reaching for his groin but has actually just thrown a spiked turtle in an attempt to stop Mario (or Luigi.) The "gob of white stuff" is a cloud. You can typically find them in the sky on Earth. In Mario games, these clouds have faces to make them look more "cartoony". These clouds aren't actually characters nor do they do anything besides float. In this sense, it would be impossible for it to commit any sexual act.

3. Yoshi has no gender. It is supposed to be an asexual creature (meaning it does not have sex and reproduces by its self) the fact that his mouth is at "groin height" is completely irrelevant.

4. Actually there are mushroom women. The male mushroom men are Toad and the female are Toadette.

5. I find it odd that you think a certain font resembles "bumcheeks". You are also very, very descriptive when it comes to describing the "bumcheeks" of "twinks". While I have never seen one to confirm or deny your claims, I have never thought that any font looks like anything sexual.

6. The reason the grass and dirt look the way they do was so that what some may call the "collision detection" in the games would be easier and cheaper to create. This way, the characters walk on flat ground and don't step on uncrushable grass. In the early games the grass and dirt were completely flat.

7. The turtle isn't prancing, it's probably dancing to look silly because kids like to see colorful creatures acting silly, not listlessly walking around. In fact almost all creatures DO walk or run in all of the games. There is typically no "prancing".

--

1. See answer 3 above. Also, they are being "mounted" to be used as a means of transportation. Before cars were invented, was everyone who rode a horse committing a homosexual act? Robert E. Lee rode a horse. Was he homosexual?

2. He is clearly holding on to his feet. Typically in all creatures that have groins, it is located just below the waist in-between the legs.

3. Yoshi's tongue is nowhere near Luigi's genitalia or his rectum. Plus, Luigi is wearing jeans and not naked.

4. This is a goomba. The goomba is animated to look like shiitake mushrooms with feet. Mushrooms are fungi and have no gender.

5. Mario does not get coins by sliding through pipes. He travels to other places by sliding through pipes. In no existing Mario game does Mario get coins just by sliding through pipes.

6. I have no idea where you got this information. Please provide a citation.

So Mario is a homosexual for sliding down a poll, rather than just falling to the ground? Are all firemen homosexual as well? You know, the people who save countless American lives every day from horrendous fires?

Sir, if you're going to make outlandish claims about anything, please check your sources and make sure what you are saying not only makes sense but is also realistic.

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Rev. Rick James

Boy? Really? How old are you, 19? I'm surprised you're not being molested by some catholic bishop right now.

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

My goodness! The mouth on you.

You know Jesus is going to judge you for every word you uttered at the end of the world, don't you?

Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

So apparently in this forum, "molested" is a bad word but words like "faggot" "negro" and "chink" are okay?

You guys are constantly condemning people for being "hateful" and having "bad mouths" but look at the things you are saying. I don't think Jesus ever intended to be mean or hateful and you shouldn't either.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by unexpected

Sir, if you're going to make outlandish claims about anything, please check your sources and make sure what you are saying not only makes sense but is also realistic.

Why do you not follow your own advice?

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by unexpected

So apparently in this forum, "molested" is a bad word but words like "faggot" "negro" and "chink" are okay?

You guys are constantly condemning people for being "hateful" and having "bad mouths" but look at the things you are saying. I don't think Jesus ever intended to be mean or hateful and you shouldn't either.

Just like Jesus, we are not intentionally hurtful or hateful, friend.

Like Jesus, we have no problem rebuking demons and evil when we see it.

Mark 1:25-26
And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the unclean spirit had torn him, and cried with a loud voice, he came out of him.

Here Jesus heals a man then tells him to immediately depart.

Mark 1:42-43
And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.
And he straitly charged him, and forthwith sent him away;

Jesus curses a fig tree for not giving Him food.

Mark 11:13-14
And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.
And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

Here we have Jesus driving people out of the temple with a whip.

John 2:15
And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

Those are just a few examples of Jesus getting angry. I have a lot more.

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

Here we can see a Mushroom guy having sodomy with a red dinosaur, turtles throwing sex toys, a green dinosaur trying to give a tongue kiss to a turtle, and lots of multi-colored phalluses and bright flowers.

Two muscular, half-naked men with some kind of bizarre penis behind them? Obviously the gay agenda is going both routes...utilizing the feminine queen imagery of the Mario games, as well as the masculine bear imagery of Contra.

In the picture, the Toad on the back of Yoshi is not committing "sodomy". Even if this was possible, the Toad would have to be behind him for this act.

The "turtles throwing sex toys" are Hammer Bros who throw HAMMERS at characters in an attempt to hurt or kill them. This is a picture of a hammer. http://osopher.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/hammer1.jpg
Hammers are tools used for hammering nails into wood or pulling them out. This is how houses are built for an example. In Mario games, they are used as weapons.

Yoshi's tongue is that of a lizard or frog even. It is used to literally eat creatures alive just like frogs or lizards in real life do.

I see the flowers but I do not see a single "phallus" in this picture at all. As far as flowers go, flowers are a normal part of nature on Earth.


In the contra game, the men aren't half naked at all. They are clearly wearing clothes. The name "contra" refers to the battle between the contras and sandinistias in Nicaragua back in 1979. The contras were supported by Ronald Reagan and many Americans as well. For further information, there are tons of history books covering this subject.

The game is about two soldiers protecting Earth from a terrorist organization and aliens. The "bizarre penis" that you see is one of the aliens which is clearly based off of the aliens from the movie Aliens.

You'll have to further explain to me why it is that you are constantly seeing penises. Are you searching for them? I do not see them.

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Why do you not follow your own advice?

I have not made outlandish claims about anything at all. I just happen to be very well educated. I also happen to have knowledge in the subject matter at hand. I can provide sources if necessary where you can not.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by unexpected

... sodomy ... sex toys ... phallus ... half naked ... bizarre penis ... penises ...

Isn't it about time you join a help group for sexaholics? You seem to be obsessed.

Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell .

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

Just like Jesus, we are not intentionally hurtful or hateful, friend.

Like Jesus, we have no problem rebuking demons and evil when we see it.

Mark 1:25-26
And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the unclean spirit had torn him, and cried with a loud voice, he came out of him.

Here Jesus heals a man then tells him to immediately depart.

Mark 1:42-43
And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.
And he straitly charged him, and forthwith sent him away;

Jesus curses a fig tree for not giving Him food.

Mark 11:13-14
And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.
And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

Here we have Jesus driving people out of the temple with a whip.

John 2:15
And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

Those are just a few examples of Jesus getting angry. I have a lot more.

Here we have an exorcism, performing a healing miracle (and just like a doctor would do, sending the man on his way once the healing is complete), getting angry at a TREE (trees are not people) and Jesus driving people out of a temple for using it as a store.

What you are doing is not similar to any of this at all, find better quotes.

[unexpected]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Isn't it about time you join a help group for sexaholics? You seem to be obsessed.

Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell .

Hahaha, surely you jest. Actually all of those "pornographic words" I used were in direct quotation from Rev. Jim Osborne. Go ahead, check his post. I'll wait. Direct this information towards him.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by unexpected

Hahaha, surely you jest. Actually all of those "pornographic words" I used were in direct quotation from Rev. Jim Osborne. Go ahead, check his post. I'll wait. Direct this information towards him.

Actually all those words were from your own posting. Go ahead, check your own post. I'll wait.

[unexpected]

Yes, in direct quotation. Also, clearly stated in my post. I noted that I do not see them. Thus, I have not been looking at them or for them. Please, check up on your reading comprehension skills.

Also, you have made no attempts to rebuke my counter-points about said video games so I'm just going to assume that you know I'm right and are vigorously trying (and failing) to attack me on other levels because you accept that I am right and you are wrong. How very sad.