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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-29-2007, 01:47 PM
Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture
December 28, 2007
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.
Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus.
"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.
Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky.
Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him.
"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing.
When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-29-2007, 05:14 PM
Now every knows that the rapture is not going to take place till the second tuesday next week.... Sheesh..,.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-29-2007, 05:25 PM
That would have been such an easy mistake to make.
We all know End of Times is due any moment and seeing people floating off into the air would frighten any concerned Christian afraid of being left behind.
I think this Woman deserves our Prayers in Church tomorrow.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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True Christian™
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-29-2007, 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
That would have been such an easy mistake to make.
We all know End of Times is due any moment and seeing people floating off into the air would frighten any concerned Christian afraid of being left behind.
I think this Woman deserves our Prayers in Church tomorrow.
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Ooooh Sister, what an uplifting story! Gosh!
I feel utterly sure that Jesus would have let her into Heaven anyway, she loved Him that much (even though it wasn't the real rapture)
Praise!
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-30-2007, 12:17 AM
After reading this story I cried and cried. It was as though all the air had been forcefully expelled from my lungs, and the almighty love of Jesus was crushing my ribcage. Such was the power of this experience, I passed water involuntarily during this seizure, and blacked out.
Several seconds passed before I was capable of standing and breathing once more.
My soul yet still cries with joy that this woman loved Our Saviour that she was ready at the drop of a hat to follow our Lord Jesus up to heaven in Rapture.
That she was mistaken is no biggie - she'll be in Heaven now anyway...everyones a winner.
Her Husband must be extremely proud...
She is a role model to our wimmensfolk. If she was Cathylik, she would have been made a Saint - still, salvation is about as good a reward as you can get, right?
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-30-2007, 06:20 AM
If the Rapture's here, can I get back to burning you at the stake like we did 500 years ago in Spain?
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-30-2007, 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
If the Rapture's here, can I get back to burning you at the stake like we did 500 years ago in Spain?
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When the Rapture comes, I almost pity you ring kissers. Once Jesus gets His loving hands on you you'll regret every bead you ever counted, every altar boy you ever buggered, every statue you ever bowed down to. GLORY!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
12-31-2007, 01:21 AM
Phew! I feel a lot less silly now, as the same thing almost happened to me once! I was driving through Freehold one day when I went past a giant inflatable Jesus that Freehold Light Baptist Radio was using to promote their station. Anyway, I thought the Lord had returned, and in the excitement I lost control of my Ferrari and crashed it into Mr. Frank Landry's Winnebago!
Long story short, I now get around in a Lincoln Town Car driven by Ranjit, my Hindon't driver who may be doomed to Hell, but at least won't mistakenly think he's about to be Raptured.
Last edited by Mrs. Mary Whitford; 01-01-2008 at 01:42 AM.
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True Christian™
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Location: Pastor Deacon Fred Hall, Landover Christian University School of Law, Freehold, Iowa, God's Country
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
01-01-2008, 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy
Such was the power 0f this experience, I passed water involuntarily during this seizure, and blacked out.
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I do hope there was no wall nearby.
Quote:
If she was Cathylik, she would have been made a Saint
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How true. They don't even bother to fake the miracles anymore (I hear that John Paul II is going to be canonized on the basis of passing out dozens of bandaids to heal cuts and abrasions during World War II). But I agree, this was a powerful story demonstrating Jesus' Divine Love and Mercy.
Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
01-03-2008, 05:08 PM
That is a terribly sad story. That poor woman!
But one thing from the story disturbed me....
Quote:
Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus,
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Mr. Jenkins ought to shave his beard or dye his blond hair darker to prevent this from happening more often.
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
10-21-2009, 09:33 PM
why no responses?
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
10-21-2009, 10:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roberto
why no responses?
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There was a whole page full of them, and it's a nearly two-year-old dead thread!
What are you, the new gravedigger in town?
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Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
05-21-2011, 10:31 PM
How many "raptures" does it take before you people realize it is never going to happen?
Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
- Ecclesiastes xii.7
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Unsaved trash
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Location: Valencia, that's in Europe btw
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
05-21-2011, 10:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutch Girl
How many "raptures" does it take before you people realize it is never going to happen?
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Hmmm. This rapture thing is something I'm not getting either Dutch Girl. I'm trying to learn here but....'rapture'?
Hmmm. I'm not so convinced. A bit fairy-tale, no?
(like your photo by the way - is that you? You look kind of nice-happy-wacky!)
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Mayor of Freehold
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Re: Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture -
05-22-2011, 02:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marisa L Sanchez
Hmmm. This rapture thing is something I'm not getting either Dutch Girl. I'm trying to learn here but....'rapture'?
Hmmm. I'm not so convinced. A bit fairy-tale, no?
(like your photo by the way - is that you? You look kind of nice-happy-wacky!)
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I can understand why you ladies might not understand the rature. It is something only we who are rapture-ready can understand.
People who do not sin are rapture ready. It's nice.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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