Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
Of course, for those with sufficient funds, we will offer excellent boutique ER service on hospital ships parked just off the US coastal 12-mile territorial limit, reachable by private helicopter. After all, even the job creators on Wall Street occasionally get ill, and it's a long flight to Canada by LearJet when you're not feeling well.
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I know it's strange to respond to my own post, but I just got some breaking news that couldn't wait.
Over the weekend, I played golf with some of my banker friends on Wall Street, and they told me that this hospital ship idea was inconvenient, seeing how they might get sea sick. So they were wondering if we couldn't come up with some other way to have boutique ER rooms at hospitals for the rich only, while excluding the riff-raff who earn less than eight figures a year.
After talking it over with my legal people, we came up with a nice loophole (gosh, those guys are so good at that!). It occurred to them that foreign embassies and consulates are technically outside of US legal jurisdiction. That plus the fact that foreign countries have much better health care than the USA anyway, you can see how this plan really makes sense.
So all we had to do was find a cooperative country with high enough health care standards to satisfy the 1% ruling class, but with sufficient surplus medical staff that they can spare them from their obligations at home. We looked around, and realized that Cuba was our best bet. They've got well-trained doctors and nurses at low everyday prices - Michael Moore figured this out when he made that commie movie
Sicko, and had the nerve to take those 9/11 First-Responders/Suckers down there to get treatment after we'd already written them off as cannon fodder. The fact that Cuba really needs the money they could earn from a boutique hospital and was willing to do this, sealed the deal.
The big problem is that the USA doesn't have diplomatic relations with Cuba - thus no embassies or consulates on American soil. Fortunately, we can work around this by getting our puppet government in the Dominican Republic to open hospitals in their consulates, and staff them with Cuban medical personnel. However, the Dominicans will supply the candy stripers to provide extra comfort to us hard-working job creators (note: Rush Limbaugh, who has much experience traveling in the Dominican Republic, personally recommended over 100 girls for the candy striper jobs).
Playing doctor in Santo Domingo:
"OK Rush, time for your Oxycontin enema."
For the 99% of the population that will soon have to pay now mandatory health insurance premiums without having access to any actual medical care, there is a good opportunity here for churches like LBC to step in with faith healing tent revivals. Can be lucrative too - surely we can divert a small percentage of the insurance premiums from executive bonuses to pay for the miracle cures (subject to 50% co-pay). It's innovations like these that make the USA such an exceptional country.