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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 07:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
How would you be honoured by your husband giving away his money? You make it sound like you were involved in the decision.

Anyways, why are you all thinking subsonic? Sure, a fully kitted A380XX or 747-800 might all luxurious and comfortable, but you're never gonna get it much over 600 mph. If Zeke's late for, say, a prayer meeting at the third hole of Pebble Beach, he needs to get there now, and this baby'll do over 1500 mph!



Can't take that long for Portway to learn to read Cyrillic, can it?

Only $375,000 here: http://www.controller.com/listingsde...ML/1354915.htm (unless your buddy Kim'll give you a deal on one of his dad's old ones)
Are you a Christian yet, Didymus? My husband tells you to stop rebuking me, and by extension, him. He's a good Christian pastor of a proper Baptist church, and he only allows good American Christian men and women to rebuke me, since I'm a foolish unsaved woman (1 Timothy 2:15). However, I have accepted Him as my savior, and I will be heaven-bound, while you are still riding the shortbus to Hell. How much have you donated to Pastor Zeke (besides grief!)?

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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:00 AM

I hate to rain on everybody's parade, but I have to say, I don't think we can afford this expense right now. I was at the last LBC budget meeting, and the numbers do not look good.

According to my calculations, even if every single member of this church increased their tithes by ten percent, we would still be operating with a structural deficit.

But if we sold the existing plane, and did not replace it, that would be the one single largest savings we could conceivably realize. It would bring us a lot closer to operating in the black again.


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Bible Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:08 AM

Who has been taking care of the church finances, since Mistress Cookie went AWOL with you? No one. We need Mistress Cookie to come back into the office, give Granny July the bullet, and get the churches finances back in order. It's interesting that it's you of all people who has raised this as an issue, when we consider your murky involvement in Cookie's absence.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:44 AM

Let's not distract ourselves with side issues and gossip. The topic at hand is our budget crisis for this fiscal year. We need to tighten our belts.

I knew this would not be a popular thing to say.


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Bible Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 11:05 AM

I also agree that we should concentrate on the most pivotal and urgent issue.

Saving souls.

The best way to do this is to provide the absolutely best of the best crčme de la crčme evangelist pastor Flint with the tools to do this. He must be able to reach as many sinners as quickly as possible. A jet aircraft for pastor Flint is the best hope many aspiring followers of Christ have.

I found this delightful novelty in the Interwebs.



Quote:
The Avro Business Jet Explorer, believed to be a first in aviation history, has a platform which - once the plane has landed - transforms the rear of the aircraft into a living space with open-air views.
The viewing deck can be pulled back in with the flick of a switch so that the jet can easily take off to its next destination.
Designed by companies BAE Systems and Design Q, the jet able to land on short runways and uneven landing strips, delivering passengers into wilderness areas.
However only those with a spare $26.5 million will be able to buy the plane.
It can accommodate eight passengers and crew, as well as two pilots.
At 30.5 metres, the plane is being built in the UK, and the interiors can be modified to suit individual buyers.


The viewing deck is really useful. The pastor can just open it up on an airfield and start preaching to the masses that gather to hear him. It is going to be Paul in the Areopagus again. Very useful.

Acts 17:32-34
And when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked: and others said, We will hear thee again of this matter. So Paul departed from among them. Howbeit certain men clave unto him, and believed: among the which was Dionysius the Areopagite, and a woman named Damaris, and others with them.


There are souls to be won over! We'll have all our financial needs covered one day in Heaven!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 11:22 AM

Hmm. Nice idea, but no room for Pastor Zeke's entourage.

Quote:
It can accommodate eight passengers and crew, as well as two pilots.
Do they make it in a more realistic size?


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But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 12:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Let's not distract ourselves with side issues and gossip. The topic at hand is our budget crisis for this fiscal year. We need to tighten our belts.

I knew this would not be a popular thing to say.
Have you forgotten Romans 8:28? And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 05:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
[...]
Sure, you can, but how about something that's not 400 mph slower (kinda defeats the purpose), and especially not FRENCH?

If they took off all those white flag deployment modules they've cluttered it with, it might go a slight bit faster...
You are right. I was wondering what all those things were, I should have guessed they were white flag modules, the French Foreign Legion doesn´t seem to use them. If being fast is important, would this be an option?


According to Wikipedia these planes can go really fast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
[...]

I found this delightful novelty in the Interwebs.

I think this concept is brilliant! It looks a lot more comfortable than a donkey and a blanket. Maybe you can hot-rod it for some extra speed?


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 06:17 PM

Oh, that looks so wonderful! I love the deck on the side of the plane. Think how exhilarating it must be to sit out on that deck when the plane is flying up among the clouds! It must give you a beautiful angel's eye view!


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 07:30 PM

So how are we paying for this? You do all realize, I hope, that the cost of this jet would be equal to the cost the the next three hundred annual Pastor's Prayer Summit and Thailand Golf Junkets?

We could be sending those boys to Thailand for prayer, fellowship, and golf three centuries into the future, and we still wouldn't have spent what this plane will cost.


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Lightbulb Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 09:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Oh, that looks so wonderful! I love the deck on the side of the plane. Think how exhilarating it must be to sit out on that deck when the plane is flying up among the clouds! It must give you a beautiful angel's eye view!
Now you're talking - an "angel's eye view". I wonder if the plane could have a glass bottom. If you can have glass-bottomed boats, why not glass-bottomed planes?


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:01 PM

I know that as a forum member, who is still waiting that glorious day when I maybe, maybe become a True Christian, I should not even read these conversations...

However, I'd like to know how much the costs are in gold bars?
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
I know that as a forum member, who is still waiting that glorious day when I maybe, maybe become a True Christian, I should not even read these conversations...

However, I'd like to know how much the costs are in gold bars?
Before you know the cost (be it in gold bars), you need to know what you want to buy. Which air plane are you suggesting the pastor should buy?


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
Before you know the cost (be it in gold bars), you need to know what you want to buy. Which air plane are you suggesting the pastor should buy?
I do not make decisions, but I love the one where is the viewing deck. Pastor Ezekiel don't have to go out from the plane when he flies into those sinful lands full of diseases - He can preach straight from deck! Brilliant!
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
So how are we paying for this?
My dear Brother in Christ, in your haste to help out, you might have missed the housekeeping portion of this discussion in which we mention some of the practical applications with regard to realizing the goals of this project.

If I might be so forward, I would encourage you to meditate on some verses of particular importance, and let yourself rest in the comfort of our Lord's Sovereignty.

Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee,
according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
Genesis 18:14

And Jonathan said to the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over unto the garrison of these uncircumcised:
it may be that the LORD will work for us: for there is no restraint to the LORD to save by many or by few.
1 Samuel 14:6

I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.
Job 42:2

Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm,
and there is nothing too hard for thee
Jeremiah 32:17

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh:
is there any thing too hard for me?
Jeremiah 32:27

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible;
but with God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
Mark 9:23

And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.
Mark 10:27

For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Luke 1:37

And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.
Luke 18:27

Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
John 11:40


I figure as long as there's no iron fitted in the Pastor's plane (Judges 1:19), there should be no problem too great for the LORD to solve.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-16-2015, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
I do not make decisions, but I love the one where is the viewing deck. Pastor Ezekiel don't have to go out from the plane when he flies into those sinful lands full of diseases - He can preach straight from deck! Brilliant!
For that air plane you would need 58 Good delivery bars. The bars (adorned with eagles) that you are peddling might not meet the standard.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-17-2015, 12:44 AM

In a matter as important as this, we need to think outside the box. The facts are these:

Pastor Zeke feels he needs the A380. We lay people are in no position to argue with the pastor.

The fold out deck is a master stroke of genius. Think of a roll-out pulpit with our logo and words, Landover Baptist Church written the front. Creflo Dollar will just faint at the sight.

I think we should contact Airbus and ask for a quote to modify the A380 with the roll out deck. Then we would have an aircraft big enough for Pastor Zeke's entourage plus a deck to speak from and a classy place to entertain world leaders.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-17-2015, 01:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
So how are we paying for this? You do all realize, I hope, that the cost of this jet would be equal to the cost the the next three hundred annual Pastor's Prayer Summit and Thailand Golf Junkets?

We could be sending those boys to Thailand for prayer, fellowship, and golf three centuries into the future, and we still wouldn't have spent what this plane will cost.
As one of my Dad's buddies Richard once said, "Deficits don't matter."

Here's the way it goes, Faith Machine:
  • Landover buys the jet for $450 million.
  • Pastor Zeke will save a bunch of people zipping all over the globe.
  • They all joyously donate a lot of capital to the church.
  • BINGO! Deficit gone!

Richard said his friend Ronnie taught him this.

Praise Jesus!


"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-17-2015, 04:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
...Think of a roll-out pulpit ...
Ooooh, double-deck rollout, for Zeke and the 100-voice choir?

That'll show those starving Africans who God Loves™.


Obligatory coronavirus public service message:

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Bible Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-17-2015, 05:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Ooooh, double-deck rollout, for Zeke and the 100-voice choir?

That'll show those starving Africans who God Loves™.
Mr. Much,

Obviously, you are trying to make these Godly plans look cruel and uncaring but - as always - Jesus must have intervened and dictated some words of wisdom into your post. Of course these people are starving: they are STARVING FOR THE WORD OF GOD! They are desperate to hear the sermons of our Good Pastor Ezekiel.

Luke 4:4
And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

Psalms 107:9

For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.


Material food is secondary. Mr. Much, it is MUCH more important to satisfy the SPIRITUAL HUNGER of those deficient in spirituality. I am praying that one day this new jet of Pastor Ezekiel lands on your hometown and you'll hear the words that will change your life. You won't hesitate any more. You'll embrace Jesus.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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