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Default God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 06:16 PM

Now that we're approaching barbecue season, we need to be careful, lest a seemingly innocent act should outrage the Almighty. I am talking, of course, about eating bloody steaks.

When Noah left the Ark, God gave him laws, including the following:

Genesis 9:4: But flesh with the life thereof, [which is] the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

Since this law was given to Noah, we cannot ignore it as part of the old Jewish covenant. Instead, it applies to the descendants of Noah, i.e., to everyone.

In fact, it was reiterated during New Testament times and specifically indicated as applying to Gentiles by the command of the Holy Ghost:

Acts 15:19-20: Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God: But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and [from] fornication, and [from] things strangled, and [from] blood.

Acts 15:28-29: For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

Acts 21:25: As touching the Gentiles which believe, we have written [and] concluded that they observe no such thing, save only that they keep themselves from [things] offered to idols, and from blood, and from strangled, and from fornication.


So be sure that you don't enrage the Holy Ghost by eating anything with blood in it. All meats sold in Freehold County grocery stores are certified to have had all the blood drained and not to come from animals that were strangled or sacrificed to idols.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 07:46 PM

Patsor;

Is medium-rare an acceptable level of bloodlessness?

Because I've always preferred the meat that I to eat be pink.


Gastronomically Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 08:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Because I've always preferred the meat that I to eat be pink.
Why you should stop being gay:

Romans 1:26-27
"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which w as meet."


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 08:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Why you should stop being gay:

Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which w as meet."

I can honestly say that I've never been seriously tempted to change the natural use of what God gave me. That is not what I meant about preferring a bit of pink in the meat that I consume.

Maybe I should stick with chicken during barbeque season . . . I am accustomed to white meat and just don't see myself developing any brand new tastes at this stage of my life.

Conservatively Yours,

Handmaiden

p.s. If God did answer the prayers of gays, I would have undergone a different conversion years ago.


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 08:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
p.s. If God did answer the prayers of gays, I would have undergone a different conversion years ago.
Gays pray for you to become gay? I thought you mentioned to be ugly?


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 08:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Gays pray for you to become gay? I thought you mentioned to be ugly?

Not to lesbian women, my brother. I'm like catnip to them.

Men may not find me attractive because I don't fit the narrowly defined image of female beauty celebrated in this country. But compared to so many of the women at my college-- several of whom seemed like such "nice guys", except for lacking in that one area -- I was considered a femme fatale!

And besides, I never meant that I am so ugly that little children run away at the sight of me and hide behind their mothers' skirts. I'm just, you know, not the sort of woman who would draw a man's eye.

Which is a good thing, Praise the Lord! Why would any godly woman want to put a man in the position of plucking his eye out?

Let me put it another way-- once, at my former workplace-- some fellow employees and I were talking about this person or that's best feature. I asked which was my best feature, and they stared at me thoughfuly for a moment and answered, "your personality."

And we know what that means.

But alas, this is not the time and place to discuss my physical shortcomings, only my spiritual ones.

Cleverness aside, I would really like to know the Bible's stand of medium rare steaks.

Realistically Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 08:56 PM

@handmaiden What does it mean when someone says that? Did you find tasty meat yet? #Genesis 9:3


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 09:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Felicity View Post
@handmaiden Did you find tasty meat yet? #Genesis 9:3
Nah, I'm going for my usual meatless Friday night at home.

Thank you so much for the link.



Amicably Yours,

Handmaiden


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Cool Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 09:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Nah, I'm going for my usual meatless Friday night at home.

Thank you so much for the link.



Amicably Yours,

Handmaiden
I hope you are not in the habit of eating only fish on Fridays...


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 09:31 PM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I hope you are not in the habit of eating only fish on Fridays...

Hmm. . . not quite sure how to answer that. Let me put aside my self-important attempts to be clever and answer as plainly as I can.

On Fridays, I get the filet'o fish meal at McDonalds. I stay home by myself and read or watch TV. (seriously)

This is why I feel that I have almost an "unfair" advantage over some repentant souls. I've never been a drinker or party-goer. I never smoked, rarely cursed, and worst of all, men tend to respond to me as the "kid sister" that I am. I really don't know how to talk to men other than as fellow human beings. My bad.

Now I am confident that someone will point out to me that my excruciatingly boring life is no guarantee of Salvation.

I know that being a goody-two-shoes all my life is not gonna cut it with Christ. I definitely know that I have no right to judge others (really). I'm just pointing out how pathetic my life was before I found the unmatchable excitement of Praising Jesus.


Why, I might just burn my TV and 95% of my books. Really, what else do I need besides the Bible and this uncompromising forum?

Spiritually Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 09:37 PM

@handmaiden You should be fine only reading the #KJV1611 Bible! Fortunately my father never allowed me to watch TV. #2 Timothy 4:3-4


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 09:54 PM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I'm just pointing out how pathetic my life was before I found the unmatchable excitement of Praising Jesus.

Why, I might just burn my TV and 95% of my books. Really, what else do I need besides the Bible and this uncompromising forum?
That's nice to hear your testimony, dear, but all I'm reading seems like lip service.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

You need the fire for Jesus in your belly.

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

You also don't seem to be much of a team player. Many of us have reached out to you in friendship only to see you rebuff us.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

You also need to read Deuteronomy 13:6-11 concerning whispering to followers about serving other gods.

6If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;
7Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;
8Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:
9But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.
10And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
11And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 10:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post

You also don't seem to be much of a team player. Many of us have reached out to you in friendship only to see you rebuff us.

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm still confused about some of the "behind the scenes" aspects of the technical and social elements of the forums, is that what you mean? Or is there something else that I'm doing that seems to be creating a problem?

The last thing that I want is to seem unkind. . . or ungrateful. This forum is proving a challenge to me on so many levels and I actually think it's becoming too important to me! If your can steer me right so that I don't give offense, I will be happy to amend my "rebuffing" ways.

Sincerely,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 11:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Now that we're approaching barbecue season, we need to be careful, lest a seemingly innocent act should outrage the Almighty. I am talking, of course, about eating bloody steaks.

When Noah left the Ark, God gave him laws, including the following:

Genesis 9:4: But flesh with the life thereof, [which is] the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

Since this law was given to Noah, we cannot ignore it as part of the old Jewish covenant. Instead, it applies to the descendants of Noah, i.e., to everyone.

In fact, it was reiterated during New Testament times and specifically indicated as applying to Gentiles by the command of the Holy Ghost:

Acts 15:19-20: Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God: But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and [from] fornication, and [from] things strangled, and [from] blood.

Acts 15:28-29: For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

Acts 21:25: As touching the Gentiles which believe, we have written [and] concluded that they observe no such thing, save only that they keep themselves from [things] offered to idols, and from blood, and from strangled, and from fornication.


So be sure that you don't enrage the Holy Ghost by eating anything with blood in it. All meats sold in Freehold County grocery stores are certified to have had all the blood drained and not to come from animals that were strangled or sacrificed to idols.


I'm sorry, I know I have no scripture to back me up, but I love a rare steak. I want to stick a fork in it and hear it moo. If the meat is hung and aged for 21 days is that good enough to call it bled? I know there's others on here that love their rare meats.


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 11:31 PM

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Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post


I love a rare steak. I want to stick a fork in it and hear it moo.
I don't need to hear it moo; but I do enjoy listening to its mother wail in sorrow.


Sadistically Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-14-2010, 11:54 PM

What manner if ignorance is this? Rare steaks are godly in His sight.

I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Romans 14:14

There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man. Mark 7:15

Enjoy your shoe leather, Baptists.

Christ's humble servant,
Sam


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-15-2010, 04:08 AM

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Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
(God-mocking twaddle deleted)

Christ's humble servant,
Sam
Listen up, Beelzebub's humble servant. We don't take kindly to people who twist Scripture to make it sound internally contradictory, something that God's Word just cannot be.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-15-2010, 06:20 AM

Romanian steaks are awful. At least the killing the cow part is fun.
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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-15-2010, 06:43 AM

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Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
What manner if ignorance is this? Rare steaks are godly in His sight.

I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Romans 14:14

There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man. Mark 7:15

Enjoy your shoe leather, Baptists.

Christ's humble servant,
Sam
This is why liebral churches do so well, they twist scripture to fit what they want to hear. This is something that I definitely want to believe.

However, I sent an email to a Jewish Rabbi since nobody here was answering my question. Here is his response...

Quote:
The reddish liquid that remains inside the meat is not considered blood; it is the meat's "juice," and is 100% kosher.
Could I please get a pastors ruling? Is hung meat properly bled?


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Default Re: God hates bloody steaks! - 05-15-2010, 06:57 AM

In light of this news, I'm going to start chicken frying my filet mignon.

I'm going to take it and slice it in half and take a hammer to it, so the juices will melt away quickly. Then, I'm going to make a super spicy breading for my filet mignon.

Then, I'm going to make a heavy cream gravy to smear all over the top of my filet mignon.

MMMMM... MMMMM....MMMM!


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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