Quote:
Originally Posted by Beethoven
I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.
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OK, young man, I'll take your word for it but you've got some
explaining to do. First, the
hubris: after all these centuries you surely understand that music has no real
spiritual function unless it proclaims the glory of
Jesus and
President Trump. In addition, it should be of decent
quality. Now, let's assess how you did. The masses in C and
Missa solemnis are just there to spite
Jesus with the Muslim-Catholic heresy of the
papal "mass" formula. Dismissed.
Next, the
deafness. The 3rd movement of the 9th is OK especially with the second theme group by the violas but the finale... I know you were deaf and the the pitch for orchestral tuning has risen up to 445 Hz in some cases, but, still, the sopranos and tenors have to
scream so high in the range that the
Schöpfer surely
ahnet that someone is
squeezing their sperm factories. Dismissed. What about the lower 8? We have about one good melody. 1st and 2nd are just
recycled Wolfie. The finale of the 3rd starts OK but the slow section is just so boring. No-one cares for the 4th. The finale of 5th? OK, the
attacca is a first one but the second coda, the
prestissimo, is just too much overkill and frankly an embarassment. The 6th was OK in
Soylent green and as elevator muzak but that's it. The 7th? Yes, the second movement is glorious and your best but then the
banality of the finale destroys all that is pure and immaculate. No-one cares for the 8th.
Concertos? The violin concerto has the good 1st movement, the triple concerto is best forgotten, the 4th for piano is the first among peers but I'll take the Frantz Xaver Mozart in E flat
any day over
your E flat. Hammer-caviar? Well, there's hammering. Overtures? Try to decide upon one good Leonore! Songs! Mignon's song is OK but I feel sad for the
Maultier who
sucht sein Weg in the
Nebel. Kreutzer-sonate or cello-sonata? No sight of
Jesus! And then we have the
für Elise that has been instrumental in spreading more
syphilis than the combined efforts of Napoleon's army.
Ok. Explain and
repent. Your music has become a false God. There's even a precedent.
Daniel 3:10
Thou, O king, hast made a decree, that every man that shall hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, shall fall down and worship the golden image:
Yours in Christ,
Elmer