Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News. |
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-25-2019, 06:50 PM
The Wallendas will soon be walking on a narrow cable high over the streets of New York City. Nik Wallenda says it is his faith that allows him to overcome fear.
We can all learn about Jesus from the Wallendas. He will keep you safe as long as you do not earn his anger through sin. Stop the sin, walk the tightrope.
https://www.christianpost.com/news/a...th-sister.html
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
|
|
Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-25-2019, 07:41 PM
Brother Mr Mayor, Sir, I am delighted to report that Mr Wallenda and his sister have succeeded in their fearless demonstration of the Absolute Power of Faith! (They were forced by some Godless Joo York regulation to wear safety harnesses, though obviously these weren't necessary.)
My younger boys are outside now, setting up a highwire between a couple of mature poplar trees. They're only about 50 feet high (the trees, that is, not the boys ) but they do tend to sway in the wind which should make the test more challenging.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-26-2019, 12:15 AM
They are indeed a good and Godly family! It takes a rare soul to evangelize for Christ while perched on a wire. Praise God!
However, they're not ALL so Christian. In 1978, Karl Wallenda strayed from the righteous path, so Jesus pushed him off balance, whereupon he fell to his death and damnation. GLORY! The divine judgment can be seen in the following HILARIOUS video!
God is not mocked! I hope he realized that in the seconds before he splattered the pavement.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-27-2019, 12:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
They are indeed a good and Godly family! It takes a rare soul to evangelize for Christ while perched on a wire. Praise God!
|
Thank you for noting these concerns about the depth of faith in the Wallenda family. There are reasons to wonder.
The most recent is the new Wallenda practice of wearing a safety harness while performing. This harness will hold performers suspended is they fall off. Really, if they believe Jesus is there to keep them balanced on the cable why would they need a harness?
Even though the Wallenda's pray into their microphones as they are walking the tight cable I'm wondering if new Wallendas have really put their faith in Jesus.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-30-2019, 06:43 PM
Godless New York is filled with people walking physical and spiritual tightropes. I don’t give them much attention. I do however give glory to God for the lesser known Winifred Wallenda who is a Walmart employee in Edison NJ.
She praises God while she walks a clothesline tied between two shopping carts on her break each day. Any money collected goes to her Baptist Church.
Pray for her please since that Walmart is a haven for red dots and assorted mooseslimes who hate Christians.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
|
|
Posts: 4,854
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-30-2019, 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you for noting these concerns about the depth of faith in the Wallenda family. There are reasons to wonder.
The most recent is the new Wallenda practice of wearing a safety harness while performing. This harness will hold performers suspended is they fall off. Really, if they believe Jesus is there to keep them balanced on the cable why would they need a harness?
Even though the Wallenda's pray into their microphones as they are walking the tight cable I'm wondering if new Wallendas have really put their faith in Jesus.
|
Oh, dear Brother MAYOR Hold, you are so right here about the Wallendas not trusting entirely. I noticed that when I saw the TV broadcast of young Nik walking the tightrope at Niagara Falls. He was cabled to the wire! So what if the spray soaked everything and made it all the more treacherous for crossing? Where is his faith in the Power of Almighty?!
Matthew 17:20 "And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."
A blessed afternoon to you, dear Mayor Hold,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
|
|
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
|
|
Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-30-2019, 07:25 PM
I see Nik as a Shining Example to God's Children to walk the Straight and Narrow. What could be more Straight and Narrow than a thin piece of Wire?
One of the news ladies on the tv mentioned that the Jew York City penny pinchers would Not allow Mr. Nik to perform without a harness for fear of lawsuits (what they fear more than God). Even though I normally DO NOT believe the Godless LIEberal media, I choose to believe in this case because I know Nik knows God is Good all the Time and would protect him as he praised Him and hummed Jesus songs into America's Living Rooms.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
|
|
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
|
|
Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-30-2019, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
One of the news ladies on the tv mentioned that the Jew York City penny pinchers would Not allow Mr. Nik to perform without a harness for fear of lawsuits (what they fear more than God).
|
I guess they were afraid that if God chose to allow Mr Nik and/or his sister to plummet, for some reason of which only He was aware, one of them might have landed on someone with a Joo lawyer? The obvious solution would have been to hold the crowd back from directly underneath the highwire. But no, those JYC demoncrats are too cheap to invest in a bit of decorative rope or some barbed wire.
I feel personally cheated by this denial of an opportunity to demonstrate the power of faith.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
06-30-2019, 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
I feel personally cheated by this denial of an opportunity to demonstrate the power of faith.
|
The Lukes family always watches whenever the Flying Wallendas are on television. That Nik Wallenda is such an excellent role model for Christian youth: Stay on the straight and narrow path and pray without ceasing. Put all your faith in God and praise Him in all that you do, because you are worthless and all your accomplishments are rightfully His. There are many evil forces working for your failure (wind, gravity = sin). Stray but a little and you will have a terrible, brutal, gory, irreversible fate.
A great metaphor for teaching children what Christianity is all about.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
07-01-2019, 01:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
The Lukes family always watches whenever the Flying Wallendas are on television. That Nik Wallenda is such an excellent role model for Christian youth: Stay on the straight and narrow path and pray without ceasing. Put all your faith in God and praise Him in all that you do, because you are worthless and all your accomplishments are rightfully His. There are many evil forces working for your failure (wind, gravity = sin). Stray but a little and you will have a terrible, brutal, gory, irreversible fate.
A great metaphor for teaching children what Christianity is all about.
|
Great observations, Brother Lukes. The straight and narrow is where Jesus wants us and leaning to either side is eternity in hell.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
07-01-2019, 03:44 AM
Poor Winifred. Once again ignored by this forum. At least the folks at my church will gladly pray for her. Shame on the rest of you.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
07-01-2019, 04:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Poor Winifred. Once again ignored by this forum. At least the folks at my church will gladly pray for her. Shame on the rest of you.
|
Brother Larry, I really don't think it's appropriate for a family forum to praise a woman with a job outside the home. It's unseemly, vulgar, and offensive, not suitable for children to read about.
Can we please return to the topic of Karl Wallenda, the sinful black sheep of the family who got splattered on the pavement and is being anally raped by Satan's spiked phallus in the torturous pits of Hell as we speak?
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Jesus Keeps the Flying Wallendas From Falling -
07-01-2019, 05:33 PM
I pubically apologize. While I am intelligent and handsome, I am also young and require guidance from the more geriatric males here. May God bless you for your loving rebuke. I take heart in the fact that Jesus understands and suffers me to come to Him.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|