[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Friends, we must pray for Canada to become a democracy. I just got a disturbing email from a Canadian friend who reports first-hand on the lack of democracy in that wasteland:

Originally Posted by Candian friend

I was just websurfing today when I saw a banner ad reminding me to vote today. I've never voted and I'm not hyped about the election, but while drunk I had told my mom that I'd vote so it's decided. So I googled, and got the Elections Canada website, to find out where to vote. I grabbed a piece of mail (a bank statement), my driver's licence, and my passport (just to be certain) and walked one block to the voting location. They asked me my phone number, I told them that I hadn't memorized it since I tend not to call myself, and they left that part of the form blank. We have a simple piece of paper, and a pencil. It took less than five minutes to registered and vote, ten minutes if you include walking to the polling station and back.

THAT IS NOT DEMOCRACY! Where are the complex and arcane registering procedures, different in each state, to better reflect each local culture's differing opinions on the details of complex and arcane registering procedures? Where is the rule saying you have to register a month in advance? What about the vote challengers, to check on the swarthy types? Where are the lineups around the block? Voting is supposed to be like Navy SEAL training, you have to weed out those uncommitted, weak-willed, moderate types.

And where are the machines? Pencils can break, or be erased, and papers can rip, or cause papercuts and who knows what else. And where are the butterfly ballots, to keep senile Florida jews from voting for other senile Christ-rejecters? (And there are a lot of Canadians in Florida. Some parts of Florida even have signs written in "en francaise". This is every bit as bad as the Mexican invasion!)