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Reload this Page A Christian's Guide to Time Travel.
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Default A Christian's Guide to Time Travel. - 05-07-2021, 08:48 PM

A topic that is rarely addressed by ordinary Churches (or as I call them “socialist gossip clubs”) is that they rarely discuss time travel and the implications for the Christian soul. As a forward thinking Church*, Landover is in a good position to advise on this matter.


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In common with the Patriarchs and the Prophets, Jesus spoke a lot of the future. He told us what would happen if we did things. From this, we know that the future is certain as God’s Law will not change**. We know what happened in the past – we know what is happening now. We know these things because they are real and fixed. If Jesus knew what would happen, the future must be fixed.

As the past and the present are fixed, we know they are real. You know you went to Walmart yesterday, and you know you are reading this and nothing will change those facts. We have shown that the future is fixed, therefore the future is a real place – Minnesota is a real place. We can travel to Minnesota***, therefore we can travel to the future. And remember, today is tomorrow’s yesterday and yesterday is the past and the past is fixed.

Of course the problem is while Minnesota has air, rail, and road connections, the future does not seem to have these. But neither does the sun, but the sun is a real place, right? It is thus a simple question of how to get there. Fortunately, we need not bother with the finer details of travel to the future; we can just assume that we can do it.

OK – you find yourself 1,000 years in the future and wish to save the souls of the people by explaining about Jesus to them. You have got a difficulty. A thousand years ago, American was a different language: here’s a thousand-year-old passage from Old American that could be about Jesus:

“ðæm eafera wæs æfter cenned, geong in geardum, þone god sende folce to frofre; fyrenðearfe ongeat þe hie ær drugon aldorlease lange hwile.”

Today, we would say

“Later an heir was born to him, there was a son in his palace, whom God had sent to favor the ordinary people, and to sympathize with their sorrows as, in the first place, they had lacked an earl for leader for a long time.”

We can expect American to change in the same amount of time, and thus Modern American will be incomprehensible to the people of the future. The trouble is that while there are plenty of Old American dictionaries, there are no Future American Dictionaries. The consequence of this is that the time traveller would be driven off to the squirrel farm in an ambulance out of the Jetsons, and his mission would be at an end.

Even setting this aside, God is revealing His Mysteries to us as time passes. Whereas we fully expect God’s Law to be unchanged, the time traveller would have no idea of all the Christian thought and apologetics that has gone on it the 1,000 years between his leaving and his arrival. He’d have a lifetime of catching up to do.

OK, you say, let’s travel back in time and alter a few things, For example, all Catholics are burned, Fundamental Baptism is the only religion, and the South wins the Civil War... Wait! We have a problem! We have agreed that the past is fixed, and our time traveller was never in the past and none of these things happened. So we can’t do this. When the Patriarchs, Prophets and Jesus spoke of the past it was always “and this happened, and Ashimaz begat Jehoram, and the army tore them to pieces”, etc. i.e. Things that really happened.

Theoretically, you could go to the past as long as that past is not a past in this dimension… except for the fact that there can’t be “another dimension”. If there were “another dimension”, then there would be another “Christianity” and another Bible. This cannot be so. We know, that for God, time is meaningless and if he had created another dimension, then it would not be exactly the same as this one – that would be pointless. It would have to be different – but we know that the Bible must be True in all dimensions.

There is another problem: If you travel back in time, your cotton shirt will travel back with you. But three years ago, that cotton shirt was seeds… you see what I am getting at? Landover cannot permit Pastors to arrive naked in the distant future any more that it would be right for them to suddenly appear naked in Minnesota.

Of course, the greatest problem in travel to the past is “The End of Days.” Hit on that on your “time dial”, (and remember we don’t know when it is, only that it is “soon”) or the 1,000 years of the rule of Satan, and you’re in big trouble – you’ll either be whisked to heaven or have to live in Hell on earth.

As a result of the foregoing, Landover forbids time travel on the grounds of public safety. Anyone attempting time travel will be shunned instantly.









* Death is in the future and we are an authority of the After Life.
**M't:5:18: For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Lu:16:17: And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail.
***No, I don’t know why anyone would want to do that, but that is not the point!





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Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: A Christian's Guide to Time Travel. - 05-08-2021, 07:38 PM

Thank you for your illuminating lesson, Brother Bathfire. I was so confused about time travel before, but then again, I have never been to Minnesota. Your explication provides the sort of clarity that the Christian community so desperately seeks.


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