Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad.
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-22-2010, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
This reminds me of a funny story a friend of mine that worked for Schlumberger (Texas based, just a funny name) told me. He said he was listening to the ranting of some towel head who was going on about the evils of America and how America should just get out of the middle east. The funny thing was, they were sitting in a KFC while the guy was going on about this. So my friend finally spoke up and said "You know, if we leave, we're taking ALL our stuff (restaurants, cars, oil rigs) with us." Well I can tell you that Mr. Towel Head was not too happy about that.


So true Brother. However I think I'll stick with Brothers Temperance and Tannor and keep my feet firmly planted on North American soil.
Sister I would like to clarify something for you. I too have worked in the middle east and your use of the phrase ''towel head'' is inaccurate. The cloth they wear on their heads is more of a linen than a towel so I feel a better description is as a ''sheet head''. We do not wish to offend.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
repented harlot70 repented harlot70 is offline
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS

 
Posts: 210
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Washington(the state)
repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.repented harlot70 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-22-2010, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
If you are in a bar in a foreign country make sure they serve Budweiser. If they don't, move on to the next one. Any establishment that doesn't serve it is not worth you patronizing. Make sure you register your disgust with the patron of the place by asking him what kind of poor establishment doesn't serve Budweiser.

You should then regale him or her by telling them how much better things are in the U.S. than their 3rd world hell hole.

Another thing that angers me to no end is when I'm in a foreign land and they look at me strangely for ordering iced tea! The snarky looks on their faces make my blood boil when they say things like, "You want me to take tea and put ice in it.?" Did I stutter, you limey bastard? Of course that's what I want!

Speakin' of tea, you just reminded me I need to bring my fresh brewed sun tea in the house; after it brews all morning, I add a little peach juice in it to make it sweet.
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Aaron's Avatar
Aaron Aaron is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 28
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Converting the Unsaved
Aaron is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Aaron is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-24-2010, 01:08 AM

When staying in a beachside resort or hotel it is always sensible to remind those serving you and other foreigners that there are Godly Americans™ present and they should be mindful to show you the obvious levels of respect

A good way of doing so is to occupy the sun lounges closest to the pool

If you decide to leave the pool area you can remind those serving you and other foreigners of your continuing presence by leaving your American flag beach towel in your place



Exodus 4:14 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-24-2010, 02:06 AM

I always wear my stars & stripes swim trunks out so that the waiters always know that I'm paying with American dollars.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Professor Bessemer's Avatar
Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science
Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Ex-Gay True Heterosexual™ Public Awareness Medal Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Born again virgin Ex-Slut True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! True Christian™ Eunuch. True Christian Hotrodder Pro-Life Flat Earth Saved 10 Years Mission Long service medal, 3rd class 2011 Witch Hunt Award Doctor Ex-Masturbator Real American™ Porn Resistant BFF of Jesus Christian Love TC Bravery Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Mary Worshipper Ribfest '09 Nuts for JESUS! True Christian Nerd Prayer Warrior Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Aardvark Cup of Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-24-2010, 02:39 AM

When I am forced to travel abroad on Scientheistic business and must dine in a local eatery, I have a custom that assures I get the respect I deserve as a True Christian™ American.

No matter the quality, I always send back the first meal delivered to my table after eating a substantial portion. I also complain about how long it took for the food to arrive, even if it arrived promptly. After that, I ask to see the manager. When the manager arrives, I tell him I just saw a cockroach run under my table.

At this point, if the manager does not offer to either comp my meal or offer me a substantial discount, I stand up and begin walking toward the door, complaining loudly. They almost always chase me down at this point and offer either a free meal or at least a free bottle of wine.


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
jennabenna's Avatar
jennabenna jennabenna is offline
Unsaved trash, nigra witch lesbian
 

Uppity Woman/Enabler Negroe Poster Thieving Nigra Bleeding heart liebral Homer Caution - Poster is on Drugs Perv Evilution Cancer on Society

 
Posts: 262
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Paris
jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.jennabenna is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-24-2010, 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Language barriers can be so bothersome when trying to get those heathens to do what you tell them to. Remember this. They all speak American. They might pretend like they don't, but they are liars by their nature. What you need to do as an American, is to speak louder to jog their memory! The louder you talk, the faster they will comply with your demands. This one works best in restaurants. Lots of finger snapping, shaking your empty glass and whistling too.
Wait... are you serious? Do you want to perpetuate the stereotype that no american is smart enough to think of any other country? You can't expect people to bow to your awesomeness just because you've kept the "Pat" and dropped the "Ex-". If there's one kind of tourist normal non-american people hate, it's an american tourist. Most that i've seen around my current city seem to make everyone around them want to kill themselves. And since the bible seems to be the only way to convince you people of anything, remember Babel? God made the different languages, not people.
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Sparky Sparky is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Caution - Poster is Crazy Uppity Woman/Enabler

 
Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-27-2010, 09:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
"Forrin-types" (as they like to be called) tend to suffer from historical amnesia, but they will treat you better once you jog their memory as to what Americans have done for them. Try to focus on what the people really value highly, and remind them that Americans gave it to them.

For example, Greeks like democracy, so remind them that Americans invented democracy. In Russia, Poland and so on they value sacrifice. Remind them how much Americans sacrificed to save them in WW2. Middle Easterners loves guns and depend on oil, both of which we invented.

Just don't try to tell the French how we invented capitalism, the French don't even have words for "enterpreneur" or "laizzez-faire".
Ha ha ha
It's funny because both the word "entrepreneur" and "laissez-faire" are actually originally french!
You're funny
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Aaron's Avatar
Aaron Aaron is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 28
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Converting the Unsaved
Aaron is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Aaron is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-27-2010, 11:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky View Post
Ha ha ha
It's funny because both the word "entrepreneur" and "laissez-faire" are actually originally french!
You're funny
You have clearly eaten too many snails if you believe that

Genesis 2:17
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die


Exodus 4:14 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
Sparky Sparky is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Caution - Poster is Crazy Uppity Woman/Enabler

 
Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-27-2010, 05:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
You have clearly eaten too many snails if you believe that

Genesis 2:17
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die
Again, seriously? Didn't you take french in high school?
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-27-2010, 06:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky View Post
Again, seriously? Didn't you take french in high school?
No, we only speak English here in America friend. As the state legislator in Des Moines said there is no reason for anyone in Iowa to know French so they cut that out of the school programs.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-27-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna View Post
And since the bible seems to be the only way to convince you people of anything, remember Babel? God made the different languages, not people.
Yes, and He did it to thwart their evil plans, so maybe that isn't the best argument that different languages are a good thing.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
Sparky Sparky is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Caution - Poster is Crazy Uppity Woman/Enabler

 
Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sparky is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-28-2010, 06:51 PM

Yes, but trying to speak a little bit of the local language will gain you respect and make people more likely to help you out
Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican

 
Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 05-28-2010, 09:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky View Post
Yes, but trying to speak a little bit of the local language will gain you respect and make people more likely to help you out
If they want my tourist dollars, they can learn my language.


Drama queen
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Warner S. Davidson's Avatar
Warner S. Davidson Warner S. Davidson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Bronze Tither Ex-Masturbator Christian Love TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once

 
Posts: 583
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Warner S. Davidson has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 06-06-2010, 09:48 AM

Australians just love tourists.....

Why we have one of the biggest Mardi Gras in the world in Sydney every year.......people come from all over the world and its get bigger each year.

I have never been but I am reliably informed that it is like something you have never witnessed previously

Note: American tourist are particularly welcome so this might be an idea for Landover members seeking something different next vacation


2 Samuel 22:31

As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
Phebe Carlyle's Avatar
Phebe Carlyle Phebe Carlyle is offline
GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Real American™ Best stoning bucket Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Christian Homemaker 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Best Pie Platinum Tither The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Christian Love One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient

 
Posts: 2,619
Join Date: May 2010
Location: At all times between Genesis and Revelation
Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phebe Carlyle is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 06-06-2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swish Davidson View Post
Australians just love tourists.....

Why we have one of the biggest Mardi Gras in the world in Sydney every year.......people come from all over the world and its get bigger each year.

I have never been but I am reliably informed that it is like something you have never witnessed previously

Note: American tourist are particularly welcome so this might be an idea for Landover members seeking something different next vacation

Oh Swish!! No True Christian, especially LBC Brothers and Sisters would EVER attend the Mardi Gras in Sydney (unless of course for research purposes) which usually happens between Late Feb and the first week of March each year.

I actually came onto this thread to warn them of MANY things here in Australia and what to watch out for. It IS best for them to be alert, rather than be alarmed! Especially now that a "fluffy" Christian is the Prime Minister KRudd is at the helm. Gosh, I miss the days where John Howard, an all around good guy and one of President GW Bush's best pals was running the country. Oh, I partially digress.

Just know Brothers and Sisters, now when you come, you cannot expect a viable exchange rate for the US $$. It is also an expensive place to live and to visit.

Secondly, it is best to stay in your hotel room as much as possible as stepping out will mean you are confronted with all sorts of evil debauchery, no matter what state and what city you would stay in.

I would suggest that you leave Melbourne out of the equation on all counts. They are so close to Tasmania it is not funny and I doubt any of you want to end up in any incestuous behavior (which is STANDARD activity in Tasmania). Melbourne also tend to rejoice in Gay activity. They have a game that originated there known (formerly as VFL) but now AFL. They have even tried to pass their gayness onto other states by claiming it is AUSTRALIA WIDE interest.

Sydney.. well The mardi gras is just PROOF of their antics.

Queensland: One would think it obvious that homosexual activity would be standard, given the name and all, but in the main, the only thing to worry about in any capacity, is the deadly insects and sea life. Steve Irwin- thank the lord is now dead and in hell, so that is one less worry, but just know his offspring are still here and continue to do his "works" ANY child named after a prickling weed (bindi) has to be the work of satan himself!!

If any of you do want to venture here, despite the above eye-opening information, please don't hesitate to contact me via PM. I do have a great travel agent who looks out only for the most wholesome activities, but also makes sure you have great time!

YIC,

WS






There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 06-06-2010, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swish Davidson View Post
Australians just love tourists.....

Note: American tourist are particularly welcome so this might be an idea for Landover members seeking something different next vacation
I guess you're unaware of our wildly successful Mission to Australia a couple of summers ago. Too bad you missed it, but you can read about it and see the pictures HERE.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 12-15-2010, 09:04 AM

When in a foreign land like Hawaii or Australia while surfing, make sure you paddle out faster to get the waves the locals are seeking. I mean, you are the guest and you are an American. You should get to go first. They can surf those waves any day.


Don't forget to travel to Mexico armed. It is a dangerous place. You should walk down the streets with your pistol strapped to your belt in a holster to let those spics know you mean business.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 12-15-2010, 11:36 AM

Here's some more country specific tips.

When in Canada, refer to them as the "51st State" or "America's Hat". They love to be thought of as one of us!

In Ireland, if you visit a pub, don't have any of their stouts. Order a Budweiser and show you're proud to be an American.

In China, if you start making random chink sounds like "Wang ching dong lo pan chung", you're bound, by probability, to actually say something that makes sense. Helps with the language barrier.

In Brazil, it might be helpful to brush up on some Spanish phrases before you go.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
Lost Sheep McUinnean's Avatar
Lost Sheep McUinnean Lost Sheep McUinnean is offline
Linguistics and Translation Consultant
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ex-Masturbator True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Real American™ Saved 1 Year Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Bronze Tither Christian Love Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Tell her once One Year/1000 posts TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Bronze Tither Pro-Life Porn Resistant Persecuted ex-sheep-shagger

 
Posts: 2,192
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: LBC Language Lab
Lost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 12-15-2010, 12:18 PM

When visiting Scotland remark on how well everyone speaks English and that you can almost understand them sometemes. The Scots loved to be compared to our more sophisticated southern neighbours.

Also make sure you get your genealogy traced back to the Jacobites and have a kilt made in Mel Gibson tartan.

The Scots also love tourists saying 'Och Aye' and mentionuing that Scotty was the best Star Trek character.
Reply With Quote
(#40)
Old
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas

 
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Brother Levi's guide to the American traveling abroad. - 12-15-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Here's some more country specific tips.

When in Canada, refer to them as the "51st State" or "America's Hat". They love to be thought of as one of us!

In Ireland, if you visit a pub, don't have any of their stouts. Order a Budweiser and show you're proud to be an American.

In China, if you start making random chink sounds like "Wang ching dong lo pan chung", you're bound, by probability, to actually say something that makes sense. Helps with the language barrier.

In Brazil, it might be helpful to brush up on some Spanish phrases before you go.
I travel to the Ornament once a month. I speak only American, the slopes seem to enjoy the challenge. When in Japland I make the chef cook hamburgers from prime Kobe beef. They seem to enjoy it. Oh and always tell them to cook your fish, its the American way.
In England remind them that with out our help they would be speaking German. Drive on the correct side of the road, dont worry the other drives will adapt in a hurry.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
america: we're number one!, american tourists, asia, bad foreigners, europe, foreign countries, frenchies, real american heroes, tourism information, vive la france

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved