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Default The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 06:22 PM

I was honored to be asked by the Landover Baptist Church Board of Directors to head up the Committee that will select a new jet airplane for our beloved Pastor Zeke.

Several factors led up to the decision to go "jet shopping". One is that the Pastor's current jet is a few years old and we want the safest possible aircraft for him. He travels constantly saving souls around the world.

The other was, to put it bluntly, an image issue. To properly represent Landover Baptist Church, our Pastor needs to be photographed next to an aircraft better than any used by lessor preachers in the business. This issue was brought to a head when Evangelist Creflo Dollar announced he is conducting a $60 some million drive for a new jet that, he says, "Jesus wants me to have."

That Creflo thinks Jesus wants him to have a new jet while our beloved Pastor Zeke flies an older model cannot be left unchallenged. The only way to demonstrate Jesus favors Pastor Zeke is to make sure he has the better aircraft.

I'm hoping some of our well connected LBC members can post here pictures of nice private jet options. I know the Lear is top to the line, the Cessna Citation does not carry the kind of gravitas we want for Pastor Zeke.

If you want to see the outrageous claims for Jesus made the Creflo Dollar just take a look at this link:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...st+Articles%29


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 06:55 PM

If it is about status, who owns the newest private jet, wouldn´t a shovel be a better investment? Just trash Creflo´s new jet and sell it as scrap metal.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:26 PM

Mayor, I've been in touch with a few ladies and I'm happy to report we're beginning to organize a Jet Aircraft Prayer Warrior Circle to storm the gates of Heaven with prayers for the Pastor's newest jet.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:42 PM

God Bless you all. The Lear Jets that I have to put up with at the moment are embarrassing to both Jesus and myself. I've had my heart set on an Airbus A380 for quite awhile now....Unless of course you think that I'm not worth it....





Of course I'd have to have all this clutter torn out so I can have the plane designed for my comfort.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
...Unless of course you think that I'm not worth it....
And there were we thinking that you would not take another passenger other than your fiancée! Obviously if there were just one other person, you would need that extra room and a Gulfstream would not cut it!

Thank you again for your inspiring leadership. May God bless us as much as He has blessed you!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:54 PM

Isn't the Airbus made by a Europeon consortium, though?


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 01-08-2016, 05:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
God Bless you all. The Lear Jets that I have to put up with at the moment are embarrassing to both Jesus and myself. I've had my heart set on an Airbus A380 for quite awhile now....Unless of course you think that I'm not worth it....





Of course I'd have to have all this clutter torn out so I can have the plane designed for my comfort.




Thank you all for your suggestions, but as I mentioned months ago, I have my heart set on a brand new Airbus A380. So than that's settled.

It needs to be ordered, redesigned, fitted out to my specifications, and gassed up and ready to go by January 20, 2017, aka The Day Donald Trump is sworn in to become America's 45th President.

Is that clear?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 01-08-2016, 08:59 PM

If there was ever any question as to why Pastors need private jet aircraft, these Pastors give witness in no uncertain terms. As a Pastor of the only True Christian™ Church anywhere, Pastor Zeke deserves the best.

Praise Jesus!

Quote:
Prosperity preachers claim private planes prevent flying with 'demons' on commercial airlines
by Gregory Tomlin - 01 January, 2016

FORT WORTH, Texas (Christian Examiner) – Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis – both multi-millionaire preachers of the "name it and claim it" prosperity gospel – have taken to the air to explain their need for private luxury jets, in part because they travel to so many locations weekly, but also so they won't have to fly with "demons."

Duplantis said in a five minute video clip Dec. 30 (begin at 2:08) that God revealed to him the need for the private jet in the midst of a flight in his plane, just after a meeting with fellow prosperity preacher Creflo Dollar – the minister who this summer produced a slick marketing video asking his followers to donate $60 million for a new jet.

The board of directors for Dollar's ministry later apologized for the video, but insisted the luxury aircraft was a legitimate need for the minister.

Duplantis said in the segment, which originally aired on the Kenneth Copeland Ministries website, that God asked him if he liked his plane.

"As I was going home, the Lord, real quickly, he said, 'Jesse, do you like your plane?" Duplantis said. "I thought, 'That's an odd statement.' I said, 'Well, certainly, Lord.' He said, 'Do you really like it?' And I thought, 'Well, yes, Lord.' Then he said this: 'So that's it? You gonna let your faith stagnate?'"

Duplantis said the comment shocked him, causing him to unbuckle his seatbelt and stand up in the plane. The pilots, he then said, asked him if he needed something.

"I said, 'No, no, I'm talking to God right now.'"

The message, Duplantis began to explain, was that God wanted him to have more. Copeland then interrupted Duplantis, saying, "You can't do that [talk to God] on an (commercial) airplane."

"The world is in such a shape that we can't get there without this. We've got to have this (private jet)," Copeland said. "That's why we're on that (private) airplane. We can talk to God."

….

Copeland concluded that he and Duplantis, along with a litany of other prosperity preachers, were in the "soul business."

"We got a dying world around us. We got a dying nation around us. And we can't even get there on an airline," Copeland said.

http://www.christianexaminer.com/art...ines/49993.htm



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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
If you want to see the outrageous claims for Jesus made the Creflo Dollar just take a look at this link:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...st+Articles%29
I can't see that Pastor Zeke would want anything a Darkie wants - for example, a long leather coat and a hat with a feather in it would not go down well.

A G550 Airborne Early Warning would be useful and this time with full leather and mink interior as suggested by Dasie-Mae.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
If it is about status, who owns the newest private jet, wouldn´t a shovel be a better investment? Just trash Creflo´s new jet and sell it as scrap metal.
Have you been in a head-butting contest with an elk again?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-14-2015, 07:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Have you been in a head-butting contest with an elk again?
Not that I´m aware of. I might have lost some memory due to a grog party last Friday.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-18-2015, 11:16 AM

I never trusted airplanes. If God wanted us to fly, we would have wings. Would an ocean steamer not give our Godly Pastor the room he needs for essentials like his staff, a swimming pool, a chapel, a 1000 seat amphitheater, a television studio and a golf course? There would be no need to waste space on lifeboats as Jesus Himself would protect our Pastor against harm.



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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 02:29 AM

The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world. I have to agree with Faith Machine; we must bring our spending in check! Even if FM has kidnapped Cookie and she is never to be seen again unless she escapes his vile prison, we must listen to his keen advice and stop this nonsense.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 03:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world. I have to agree with Faith Machine; we must bring our spending in check! Even if FM has kidnapped Cookie and she is never to be seen again unless she escapes his vile prison, we must listen to his keen advice and stop this nonsense.
I'd hate to see your pie shop burn to the ground, little lady.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 03:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'd hate to see your pie shop burn to the ground, little lady.
The Committee understands the concerns some Landover Baptist Church members have about the cost of Pastor Zeke's new aircraft. We need to see the big picture here.

The best way to see that big picture is to ask, "Would Jesus be more pleased if we spent less and fewer souls were saved for Him?" We all know the answer to that question is a resounding NO!

Pastor Zeke sees this so clearly, he has little patience for those who are blind to it.

We on the Committee are feeling a lot of pressure to get the fund raising in high gear and get the process of manufacturing the aircraft started. We would appreciate it if folks would stay positive, keep providing ideas and let the Committee wrap up the design phase.

Speaking of design, when Pastor Zeke learned there would be an upstairs and downstairs inside the aircraft, he asked about an elevator. I told him I've not heard of elevators on aircraft, but I would check it out. Anyone who has information on this please post it.

On behalf of the New Jet Aircraft Committee, I want to thank everyone for their help on our project.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Bible Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 03:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Speaking of design, when Pastor Zeke learned there would be an upstairs and downstairs inside the aircraft, he asked about an elevator. I told him I've not heard of elevators on aircraft, but I would check it out. Anyone who has information on this please post it.

On behalf of the New Jet Aircraft Committee, I want to thank everyone for their help on our project.
Verily, Mr. Mayor, there are elevators even in the tiniest of airplanes (please see image below) so it cannot be a problem to fit one into our good Pastor's aeolian vehicle.


We've seen Brother Jim's talent in interior design so I would leave the intricasies of decorating to him. Just for inspiration, I have here an example of a decent elevator.


And, obviously, an elevator has also Spiritual ramifications!

Isaiah 14:14
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

These are going to be exciting times with dozens of new saved souls (benefit) at a moderate expense (cost).


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 04:12 AM

The elevator will have leather chesterfields on each side with a mirror on the back wall. The walls will be gilt. Much like the picture shown by Brother Elmer. Piped music of angels singing hymns.
The buttons will read.
  • Pastor Ezekiel Flint (upper level)
  • Landover Baptist members only (lower level)
  • Unsaved Trash (waste disposal unit. This is in case any of them sneak in)
  • In case of emergency (a cabinet containing a KJV Bible and a bottle of the finest Scotch will open)
  • In case of rapture (the elevator will become the ejector seat)
Note: there will be no up or down buttons, otherwise Pastor Ezekiel will never get rid of some of the older members of the entourage who always want to be closer to Heaven.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-25-2015, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world.
I respectfully demur: an airplane is the fastest form of physical travel. There are starving children all over the world in far-apart regions. With an airplane it will be much easier to spread True Christianity to those who need it and pray with them.

Spiritual nourishment trumps the physical every time. The worst that can happen to the children's physical bodies is that they live a few years less. That is not so for the immortal soul.

It should be researched if it is possible to the KJV 1611 Bible-droppings over more remote areas so that the plane need not land there.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-27-2015, 08:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world. I have to agree with Faith Machine; we must bring our spending in check! Even if FM has kidnapped Cookie and she is never to be seen again unless she escapes his vile prison, we must listen to his keen advice and stop this nonsense.
Yes, Miss Lamb. I must agree, yes! Also Mr. Machine has been posting some important messages in this thread. The world is full of suffering and a man with an empty stomach is too weak to hear the message of any religion. I am also thinking that in our age of the Internet and all our technology we can bring our messages to all corners of the world without necessarily travelling there ourselves. Yes. If we would be trying to cut down meat consumption, the arable land would be more sufficient for everybody. Yes. This is in the Roman epistle of your bible "Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." That is a very beautiful verse. Yes.


"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-27-2015, 10:42 AM

Regarding the parking of his vehicular transport, I'm afraid that space will only allow for either the aging armour plated Hummer, or his regular car, but not both on the one trip, unless we sacrifice the chapel and gymnasium. I think that only one vehicle should be enough for any trip, as the Hummer only will be required for all foreign countries, whereas his regular car is all that's required in the Godly United States of America.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 03-28-2015, 03:24 AM

I learned today Creflo Dollar has gone underground to raise money for his Gulfstream and we need to do something soon get the upper hand.

While Creflo claims he has stopped fund raising for the plane, insiders say he is going forward full bore but using his underground contacts. They say he is making private calls and has a brilliant handle the project, Gulfstream for God.

We need a clever handle like that for Zeke's Airbus. I've thought about calling it the Jet for Jesus Project. But, that sounds like just another biz jet. We need to signal Zeke will travel in the largest jet airliner in the world. Maybe, Jumbo Jet for Jesus or Airbus for the Afterlife?

I'm really having a hard time with this and hope LBC members can help out.

http://www.examiner.com/article/cref...with-criticism


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