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Cake HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 03:03 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to GOD's very FAVORITE Pastor!












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Love Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 03:18 PM

A blessed birthday my Pastor, my Leader, my Hero, my guide to the Heavenly bliss and Joy with Jesus. As the Rapture approaches, I am elated to be in safe hands with you fighting alongside Jesus against the swarming troops of Satan!



Psalms 144:1
(A Psalm of David.) Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

PS. As my applications to give up my missionary position in Europe for a permanent post in Landover University remain enigmatically unanswered, I won't be delivering your birthday tithe in person. Instead, my second eldest Mark, now 16, will be my go-between. He's been employed part-time by an elderly unmarried but very sophisticated gentleman who apparently can use Mark for various chores. The boy has been very hard-working and he's even spent several nights with his new friend, visiting operatic performances, art exhibitions and whorse races. This gentleman is very well off and in appreciation of Mark's strenous efforts he's willing to donate a considerable sum for the new jet. Mark will be at your disposal for as long as you have needs for him.


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 03:34 PM

Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel! I hope you have a blessed day.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 03:37 PM

Happy Birthday! May the LORD give you everything that you desire on your special day.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 03:39 PM

Psalms:39:4: LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am.
Psalms:39:5: Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.

Words to consider from the wonderful world of The Bible as your journey to Paradise grows nearer its end. This is not time for levity, but more a reflection on Perfection.

Happy Birthday.




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

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Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 04:56 PM

Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel. How old are you now, 29? It is a miracle God entered you at such a early age and filled you with a never ending eruption of His devotion to all those worthy of Him.

I mailed yo a 'Universal Club Card' that will pay any libations you may need for the next 12 months. I know the laying of hands and delivering of sermons along with going down on the less fortunate all take a toll on your heavenly throat.

As a gag gift, I sent along one of these. I know you have a few already but, this one is painted a opalescent Black.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 05:03 PM

Happy Birthday to a courageous Man of God who is not afraid to tell the masses what will happen, according to the Holy Bible, even if it isn't "PC." Your courage under constant threat of government persecution is an inspiration to us all.



Possible real time graphic of souls being booted to Satan's Domain


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 05:24 PM

Happy birthday Pastor Zeke! Thank you for providing such godly leadership to all of us here. The world is greatly blessed by you!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 05:39 PM

Happy Birthday

While it may sometimes seem as though your selfless acts of love go unappreciated, please know they don’t. You are dearly loved by those whom you serve. Pastor, I wish you a wonderful birthday with plenty of blessings from above.

Tobias


1st Corinthians 1:26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 05:56 PM

Happy birthday, Zeke. Um, did you get the nice e-card I sent you?

I'm a little short on cash this month...




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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 06:37 PM

now can we let man marry each other?
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 07:07 PM

Pastor Zeke, please ignore the trolling of the wretched beast who posted above me and have a wonderful birthday in spite of the persecution.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Cake Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 08:17 PM

Happy Birthday, Zeke!

We don't see eye too eye very often (actually, have we ever?) but this place would not be the same without you and I'm very glad to have you around. Even when we disagree, I always enjoy our discussions.

I hope your birthday is great and that you feel celebrated and appreciated.


Many Happy Returns ,
Alicia


This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-15-2015, 09:52 PM

29 years old. For me that's so long ago that I can hardly remember what I was doing at that age.

We are truly blessed having God's favorite Pastor at our side. Next time you visit I will treat you to a freshly poured glass of water!

John 4:14 - King James Version (KJV)

14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Jesus' eternal love Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-16-2015, 06:04 PM

Beloved Pastor Zeke,
I apologize for not posting sooner here in the most important thread on this site!

I do hope that cake I've sent you yesterday:

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-17-2015, 05:32 AM

Thank you all for your kind wishes. I notice that several of the Church Elders are suspiciously absent from this thread. I can only assume that those people will me bringing along a Love Offering to this Sunday's Service that is even more robust than normal.

My new plane isn't even halfway paid for!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Love Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! - 07-17-2015, 06:13 AM

Happy Birthday, Pastor! May Christ continue to bless you with robust virility for many years to come!
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