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Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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Default I make the best pies! - 12-30-2009, 08:48 PM

I make the best pies by far. Anyone think they can make one better? Bring it! My brothers eat my pie everynight after school and never complain.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-30-2009, 11:33 PM

Before I could agree with you, certain questions come to mind:

Is it juicy?

Does it have a fruity taste?

Is it sweet?

Is it surrounded with a nice tasty crust?

Would I get the first taste?


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 12:24 AM

That certainly is generous of you to share your pie with your brothers. How many do you have, and are there any more GFG sisters in your family?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 12:39 AM

Listen girl, you aren't even Saved®, so how could you make a claim like this? I'll have you know that my fiancee sister Thumper has won "Best Pie in Freehold" for three years running.

And Jesus has told me that she's going to win again this year too, by the way.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
Before I could agree with you, certain questions come to mind:

Is it juicy?

Does it have a fruity taste?

Is it sweet?

Is it surrounded with a nice tasty crust?

Would I get the first taste?
It is dripping with strawberries inside an extra crispy crust, you American men haven't had an English Strawberry Pie! We age our crust for up to a week before we serve it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
That certainly is generous of you to share your pie with your brothers. How many do you have, and are there any more GFG sisters in your family?
I have only three brothers, but many Christian gal cousins. We get together every weekend and try each others pies. It's wonderful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Listen girl, you aren't even Saved®, so how could you make a claim like this? I'll have you know that my fiancee sister Thumper has won "Best Pie in Freehold" for three years running.

And Jesus has told me that she's going to win again this year too, by the way.
I will put my pie to hers any day. In Jesus name praise the Lord!
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
I will put my pie to hers any day. In Jesus name praise the Lord!
Well now little miss, I know that sister Thumper would love to put her pie up against yours. And I'll gladly volunteer to be the judge of that encounter.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 01:18 AM

English pies?!?!? From what I hear, they are a perversion of nature. Beware, Pastor! this unsaved wench is luring you with her tempting pie, but when you get your face in there you will be greated by a large package of meat. Disgusting!


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
English pies?!?!? From what I hear, they are a perversion of nature. Beware, Pastor! this unsaved wench is luring you with her tempting pie, but when you get your face in there you will be greated by a large package of meat. Disgusting!
Screeeeech!


Did you say MEAT pies!??


No wonder God hates England!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Smile Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 02:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Screeeeech!


Did you say MEAT pies!??


No wonder God hates England!

No doubt it is Blackbird pie, you know what that means!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
No doubt it is Blackbird pie, you know what that means!
She would lure you with a white crusted flakey pie with a sugary edge.

Your mouth would just be watering and then when she has you just begging for a piece she would reveal the black bird-meat that is hidden beneath?



Oh that is not even edible by any stretch of the imagination. I'm going to go take some Pepto now...

-ND
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 03:26 AM

It is true, there is some sausage hidden beneath the exterior of my pie, but you don't notice it with the filling warming every part of your mouth! Meat and pie go great together like PB&J. You just have to get used to it one slice of pie at a time!
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 03:57 AM

Now I'm a little worried and I'm considering taking back my previous statement.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 12-31-2009, 07:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
It is dripping with strawberries inside an extra crispy crust, you American men haven't had an English Strawberry Pie!
Miss Girl:

No, we have not. We do not make such baked strawberry pies here in AMERICA, and are PROUD OF IT.

The closest we have is a strawberry-RHUBARB pie.

As strawberries are a summer fruit in AMERICA, we use them for chilled desserts (such as strawberry shortcakes) or mashed with cream cheese, powdered sugar, gelatin and whipped cream, chilled in a graham cracker crust.

This is the way we have always done it in AMERICA, and after thousands of years of tradition, we're not about to change our strawberry preperations now.


PS: I have learned that tea made from rhubarb leaves can cause paralysis and death, so be extra careful in cleaning up the trimmings if making that first kind of pie.

.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-01-2010, 03:57 AM

Miss Girl:

Here is my recipe for chilled AMERICAN strawberry pie. Please stop baking them!

Strawberry Cream Cheese Pie

1 8 oz. package cream cheese
1 cup (or less) powdered sugar
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. almond extract
1 pre-baked pie crust (regular or graham cracker)
1 pint strawberries (other berries may be used instead)

Blend softened, room-temperature cream cheese with sugar.

In another bowl, whip cream with vanilla and almond extracts.

Fold cream cheese mixture into whipped cream, and put mixture into pie shell.

Put fruit on top and refrigerate for a few hours.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I hope this recipe will help severe your decadent European roots, and bring you closer to our American God™.

PS: With a few blueberries scattered on top of the strawberries, this makes a very patriotic-looking dessert for 4th of July.
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Smile Re: I make the best pies! - 01-01-2010, 06:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
It is true, there is some sausage hidden beneath the exterior of my pie, but you don't notice it with the filling warming every part of your mouth! Meat and pie go great together like PB&J. You just have to get used to it one slice of pie at a time!
I knew you were a packer.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-05-2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Miss Girl:

Here is my recipe for chilled AMERICAN strawberry pie. Please stop baking them!

Strawberry Cream Cheese Pie

1 8 oz. package cream cheese
1 cup (or less) powdered sugar
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. almond extract
1 pre-baked pie crust (regular or graham cracker)
1 pint strawberries (other berries may be used instead)

Blend softened, room-temperature cream cheese with sugar.

In another bowl, whip cream with vanilla and almond extracts.

Fold cream cheese mixture into whipped cream, and put mixture into pie shell.

Put fruit on top and refrigerate for a few hours.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I hope this recipe will help severe your decadent European roots, and bring you closer to our American God™.

PS: With a few blueberries scattered on top of the strawberries, this makes a very patriotic-looking dessert for 4th of July.
Sounds tasty!!! Thank you Mistress Cookie! My brothers will be all over my pie this evening
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-06-2010, 12:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
Sounds tasty!!! Thank you Mistress Cookie! My brothers will be all over my pie this evening
I'm so glad I could help!

Please chill it properly, or it will be runny.
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-19-2010, 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl For God View Post
Sounds tasty!!! Thank you Mistress Cookie! My brothers will be all over my pie this evening
I cant help but notice this womans innuendo sounding remarks
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-19-2010, 06:04 PM

Personally I'd bet on Sister Thumper's pie being tastier than any of the competition. Not that I'm an expert ( I do generally like pie though), but God HAS given her the winning pie 3 years running.

Regarding tastes and combinations. Does pie suit being eaten better alone or accompanied?
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Default Re: I make the best pies! - 01-19-2010, 07:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantrague View Post
I cant help but notice this womans innuendo sounding remarks
This is a Christian forum sir! Keep it cleen!
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