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MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 10-22-2009, 11:39 PM

Now Brethren and Sistern, you all know who this is. I'd ask you to look into your hearts and your less fortunate male relatives to see if this lady's prayers might be answered.

Call me on the usual number.
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“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 12-16-2009, 03:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Now Brethren and Sistern, you all know who this is. I'd ask you to look into your hearts and your less fortunate male relatives to see if this lady's prayers might be answered.

Call me on the usual number.
Mom ?
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 12-16-2009, 06:45 AM

I don't know what "F seeks M" means, but it sounds absolutely vulgar!
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 12-16-2009, 10:50 AM

I got my hopes up until I read the ad. I don't have very good self control.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 12-17-2009, 02:11 AM

Mental illness? Hears voices?

Is that referring to the monthly curse our wives get or am I missing out on something??


Matthew 7:15
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-27-2010, 02:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Jed_Cassidy View Post
Mental illness? Hears voices?

Is that referring to the monthly curse our wives get or am I missing out on something??
Seculars at it again. She hears the voice of God and they say shes crazie...
Why God would talk to her is beyond me. Mabey he is upset at her lifestyle. We christians should help out and get her away. Besides if it is God she hears she should obay us pretty well
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Exclamation Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-27-2010, 05:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Now Brethren and Sistern, you all know who this is. I'd ask you to look into your hearts and your less fortunate male relatives to see if this lady's prayers might be answered.

Call me on the usual number
i not recalls if it were me that tooked out that ad , but if it were then i gots to asks that someone real bootiful please calls Mr.Bathfire real kwick cuz there only be 9 years left before i be over them hills, before i be 25, i thinks i only be 14 anyways i losted count a long long times ago
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-27-2010, 01:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
i not recalls if it were me that tooked out that ad , but if it were then i gots to asks that someone real bootiful please calls Mr.Bathfire real kwick cuz there only be 9 years left before i be over them hills, before i be 25, i thinks i only be 14 anyways i losted count a long long times ago
Dearest Sweet Petal,

There is a Mr. Petal out there somewhere, you will eventually find him.




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Smile Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-28-2010, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
Dearest Sweet Petal,

There is a Mr. Petal out there somewhere, you will eventually find him.
thank you Mr.Sayved for your kind words, you gived me hopes for the futures cuz i been rejeckted by them innernet boys that be so perfict that i not be good enuff for them i not be bootiful enuff for their lurve





i not wants you neithers, Mr.Studman69!

.
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Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-28-2010, 05:49 PM

One of my nephews works in the music business as a lawyer and has represented the fellows from "Theocracy" who are a hard-core "Christian" band. He tells me the bass player is a little "Will there be rabbits George?" slow and is interested in a date with a like-minded "Christian" woman.

I can pass along his digits and perhaps we can arrange a little Petal to the Metal as it were.




Bless you, my Lovelorn Lithiate,
Father Mo






Vatican emissary to these Banjo and Britney Baptwits

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Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-28-2010, 05:55 PM

Oh! I came as I thought you'd abandoned your vow of celibacy. Having read your post, my feeling is that the lady would need to be a little more than batshit to consider a Catlick.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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SayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Lonely Heart... F seeks M - 01-29-2010, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
One of my nephews works in the music business as a lawyer and has represented the fellows from "Theocracy" who are a hard-core "Christian" band. He tells me the bass player is a little "Will there be rabbits George?" slow and is interested in a date with a like-minded "Christian" woman.

I can pass along his digits and perhaps we can arrange a little Petal to the Metal as it were.




Bless you, my Lovelorn Lithiate,
Father Mo




Isn't "nephew" a catlick codeword for altar boy ?

His "bass player" may well be too. What make you think that poor Petal wants your sloppy seconds ?




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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