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Default Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 01:07 AM

Folks -

As recent events have demonstrated, Homers come in all different flavors.

Ted Haggard, a virulently anti-Homer evangelist, turned out to be having a gay old time with a male prostitute! An NBA star has revealed his secret identity as Butt-Man!

Indeed, the old days of looking for the man who helps your wife pick out clothes, or the woman who can fix your car, are over. Homerism has invaded every level of society, thanks to aggressive marketing campaigns telling all sorts of people that Homerism is HOT!

So, let's compile a list of the signs that a friend might just be a Homer, shall we? As they come in, we can discuss their validity, then add them to the list.

Men:

Obsession with sports, particularly those which involve men in tight clothing rolling about.
Excessive knowledge of Joan Crawford movies.
Collections of Barbie dolls, tools, or sex toys.
Bodybuilding
Regular camping trips or "Boys Nights Out"


Women:

Extreme masculinity or femininity (lipstick lesbianism)
Stuffing of pants with socks
Enjoyment of movies like Thelma and Louise
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 01:17 AM

Rat tails, shemullets and plaid shirts are often sign of lezbeans Brother.

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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 01:33 AM

If your son or daughter thinks that the comedy stylings of Ellen Degenerate is funny, they are most likely a homosexual.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 02:01 AM

If you're in the Papist cult and are even considering a life of "celibacy", you're likely a homer. If you actually take the vow, then you're definitely a homer. I didn't know anyone who wasn't a dyke in the convent!


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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 02:19 AM

Drive foreign cars
Can't shoot straight
Don't know how to dress out a deer
Don't know how to change oil
Drink funny coffee (skinny flat what?)
Smell too purdy!
Can't keep their eyes above a man's belt buckle.
Sing Madonna songs (this makes me ill)


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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 09:13 AM

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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 10:41 AM

Belongs to the ACLU
Belongs to the Demoncratic party
Worries about their socks matching their shirt
Thinks euros are sexy
Sends flowers to their father for holidays
Wears thongs with dress pants (male)
Thinks freedom of speech includes performing felatio in public (male)
Thinks Hellary Clinton is feminine


"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 11:29 AM

Displays an obsession with destroying the holy sanctity of marriage and the family.
Likes wearing dresses (male) and throwing rocks at the police (male and female.)
Drinks cider (male and female.)
Engages in sodomy with members of the same sex.


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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 04:32 PM

Lips move along to the dialogue of The Wizard of Oz.
Has worn a scarf.
Takes the extra time to wash hands in public restrooms.
Raises gerbils.
Drives a car made in Europe or Japan.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 04:48 PM

Is an evolutionist.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Drinks cider (male and female.)
Surely you don't mean that, BT!

Or is this one of those things that Pastor Zeke can do, too?
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
Is an evolutionist.
Is Dutch

Last edited by Poetic Peter; 02-09-2007 at 04:51 PM.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 05:38 PM

Speaks French.
Pays more than $12 for a haircut.
Tips more than 15%.
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 05:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
If your son or daughter thinks that the comedy stylings of Ellen Degenerate is funny, they are most likely a homosexual.
Oh, GOD, could anyone be gay enough to think that?
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Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 06:13 PM

is a Demoncrap




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Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 06:18 PM

Screams when you throw a baseball at him.

Wears clogs.

Drives a meticuosly clean Toyota Echo.

Wants a Gamecube instead of an Xbox.

Hangs out with his grandmother a lot.

Wears a dress shirt with jeans.
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Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

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Posts: 15,644
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 06:36 PM

How could I forget?

Listens to the Scissor Sisters

Thinks "Spicy Orange" is an acceptable colour.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Appelfap.'s Avatar
Appelfap. Appelfap. is offline
Suspected Belgian - treat with caution
Forum Member
 
Posts: 130
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a street with a Church!
Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Appelfap. has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 06:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Is Dutch
Good that I'm not Dutch then
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Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
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Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

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Posts: 15,475
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 07:11 PM

wears pleather pants or shorts
listens to musical stylings such as Barry Manilow and Air Supply
Gets manicures
Shops at Ikea
Is good at arranging Flowers




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My GODLY Bio Here
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Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers - 02-09-2007, 07:13 PM

Wears a fanny pack.
Wears sandals.
Has long hair.
Has a mustache.
Clothes are loose and “romantic”
Clothes are too tight and reveling.
Shows little interest in women.
Shows excessive interest in women.
Has a high pitched voice.
Hair is excessively neat.
Comes from a country no American can find on a map.
Has weak wrists.
Wears pink shirts (because his wife "made" him)
Watches the Lifetime cable station.
Wife is aggressive and domineering.
Women enjoy his company and find him interesting.
Buys his cars because they are reliable and economical.
Lives in San Fransissyco (drag queen obsessed pervert)
Lives in London England (Royal Queen obsessed pervert)
Lives in Berlin, Germany (rubber obsessed pervert)
Lives in New York (Joo obsessed pervert)
Lives in Brussels, Belgium (vegetable obsessed pervert)
Any man who drinks tea mind as well have sucked on some guys unit.
The same with any guy who likes wine.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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