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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 09:21 PM

well its hard to run away from the pastor when he sneaks into your house to get his share of buttsecks while you are sleeping. My friend was asleep in his house when the rapist came for some fresh meat. You know baptist preachers. sin is their game. They sin more than anyone at the church of satan do. Its funny when they preach against sin and us satanists do less sinning than they do. Maybe at the church of satan we need to up the sinning, more gay marriage, more abortions and a life time supply of condoms. We should have sin olympics with the baptist preachers. The problem is, the church of satan would come in second place though.
: devil::d evil:
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 09:45 PM

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Originally Posted by Led zeppelin fan View Post
well its hard to run away from the pastor when he sneaks into your house to get his share of buttsecks while you are sleeping. My friend was asleep in his house when the rapist came for some fresh meat. You know baptist preachers. sin is their game. [...fevered ramblings deleted]
I don't believe a word of this, you are merely working out your fantasies, imagining yourself as a Baptist in the manner that weirdos the world over dress as nuns for personal gratification.

I would say some pretty fine prayers and ask Jesus for forgiveness and acceptance before you find yourself fulfilling the worst of your ramblings at your so-called church.





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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 09:48 PM

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Originally Posted by Led zeppelin fan View Post
well its hard to run away from the pastor when he sneaks into your house to get his share of buttsecks while you are sleeping. My friend was asleep in his house when the rapist came for some fresh meat. You know baptist preachers. sin is their game. They sin more than anyone at the church of satan do. Its funny when they preach against sin and us satanists do less sinning than they do. Maybe at the church of satan we need to up the sinning, more gay marriage, more abortions and a life time supply of condoms. We should have sin olympics with the baptist preachers. The problem is, the church of satan would come in second place though.
: devil::d evil:
It's funny how, after knowing of the peril, you your friend still neglected to lock your his door.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 11:45 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
85. I've started buying my shoes online. There are websites that ship for free, and they take anything back, so there's no hassle. It's nice knowing that I'm not trying on some shoes that someone else had tried on already.

How do you know someone else didn't buy them online, try them on, and return them?

That said, I recommend that True Christians avoid the Goodwill used clothing stores. They are good charities, and I suspect that they wash (or spray) the clothes, but you never know who owned them before that. Just be safe and buy your clothes new, preferably sealed in plastic.
How do you know someone in the sweatshop isn't infected?


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 11:53 PM

That's a little paranoid, even for you.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 11:54 PM

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That's a little paranoid, even for you.
Just following your ideas to their natural conclusions.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 11:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tidal wave of warm spit View Post
Just following your ideas to their natural conclusions.
In that case you should be repenting of your sinful ways and accepting Christ.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-26-2008, 11:56 PM

What would you know about 'natural'?


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-27-2008, 12:00 AM

86: Squeezing avacados, thumping melons and inspecting other fruit and veggies in the grocery store. Homers love to cook exotic food and have spread their AIDS infested finger prints everywhere- Beware!!!!




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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-27-2008, 12:19 AM

87. Free Hare Krishna Temple vegetarian meals. That sounds suspect. In fact, just stay away from the Hare Krishnas, no matter how hungry you are.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-27-2008, 12:20 AM

88. Handling money is pretty dirty. If I can't wash my own money at home, I like to carry my charge card with me, instead.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 04:23 PM

89. Going to the gym. Not only does the Bible tell us that "bodily exercise profiteth little" (1 Tim. 4:8), but also, the kweerboys refer to the gym as "gay church" when they think normal people aren't listening. That means that the exercise equipment and towels are bound to be crawling with AIDS germs. Even if they're not, there's the additional peril that gyms are full of sweaty, muscular, well defined, revealingly dressed men who would as soon lure you into the steam room and recruit you into the sodomite deathstyle choice as look at you.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 04:37 PM

90. Having anything to do with scienctology or Tom Cruise.
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 04:42 PM

91. Going to any theater that ever showed "Broke Back Mountain."


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 06:00 PM

92. Attending a culinary class
93. Knowing your "astrological sign"
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 07:26 PM

#94: Owning a Cat.

Everyone knows that a Cat is the Pet of choice for a Homer (after a Gerbil) and who knows what evil things they do to a Cat.
Cats are evil creatures that spread Germs through the air. They wash their private parts with their Tongues and then spread their unclean AIDS ridden fur through the air.
If you have a Pussy, shave it right away!!!!



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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 07:29 PM

95. Disco music. Of all brands of Devil's Music, this is the worst. Satan uses the pulsing beat (which is an imitation of the beastly rhythm of man-on-man gay sex) to entrance unsuspecting young men and lead them into the sodomite deathstyle.


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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
95. Disco music. Of all brands of Devil's Music, this is the worst. Satan uses the pulsing beat (which is an imitation of the beastly rhythm of man-on-man gay sex) to entrance unsuspecting young men and lead them into the sodomite deathstyle.
Lets not forget the Rug-munching Lezbo's either Sister. With their Rug-munching Hell-bound ways.
Jesus weeps.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 07:38 PM

96. driving a Honda nsx


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
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Default Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! - 07-28-2008, 08:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
Lets not forget the Rug-munching Lezbo's either Sister. With their Rug-munching Hell-bound ways.
Jesus weeps.
Thank you Sister for pointing that out. I do admit I try not to think of those vile perverted lezbeans because they disgust me. They probably have more AIDS under their filthy fingernails than most homer men have in their entire bodies.


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