Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 09:21 PM
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Led zeppelin fan
well its hard to run away from the pastor when he sneaks into your house to get his share of buttsecks while you are sleeping. My friend was asleep in his house when the rapist came for some fresh meat. You know baptist preachers. sin is their game. [...fevered ramblings deleted]
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I don't believe a word of this, you are merely working out your fantasies, imagining yourself as a Baptist in the manner that weirdos the world over dress as nuns for personal gratification.
I would say some pretty fine prayers and ask Jesus for forgiveness and acceptance before you find yourself fulfilling the worst of your ramblings at your so-called church.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Led zeppelin fan
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It's funny how, after knowing of the peril, you your friend still neglected to lock your his door.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 11:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
85. I've started buying my shoes online. There are websites that ship for free, and they take anything back, so there's no hassle. It's nice knowing that I'm not trying on some shoes that someone else had tried on already.
How do you know someone else didn't buy them online, try them on, and return them?
That said, I recommend that True Christians avoid the Goodwill used clothing stores. They are good charities, and I suspect that they wash (or spray) the clothes, but you never know who owned them before that. Just be safe and buy your clothes new, preferably sealed in plastic.
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How do you know someone in the sweatshop isn't infected?
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 11:53 PM
That's a little paranoid, even for you.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
That's a little paranoid, even for you.
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Just following your ideas to their natural conclusions.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tidal wave of warm spit
Just following your ideas to their natural conclusions.
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In that case you should be repenting of your sinful ways and accepting Christ.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-26-2008, 11:56 PM
What would you know about 'natural'?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-27-2008, 12:00 AM
86: Squeezing avacados, thumping melons and inspecting other fruit and veggies in the grocery store. Homers love to cook exotic food and have spread their AIDS infested finger prints everywhere- Beware!!!!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-27-2008, 12:19 AM
87. Free Hare Krishna Temple vegetarian meals. That sounds suspect. In fact, just stay away from the Hare Krishnas, no matter how hungry you are.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-27-2008, 12:20 AM
88. Handling money is pretty dirty. If I can't wash my own money at home, I like to carry my charge card with me, instead.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 04:23 PM
89. Going to the gym. Not only does the Bible tell us that "bodily exercise profiteth little" (1 Tim. 4:8), but also, the kweerboys refer to the gym as "gay church" when they think normal people aren't listening. That means that the exercise equipment and towels are bound to be crawling with AIDS germs. Even if they're not, there's the additional peril that gyms are full of sweaty, muscular, well defined, revealingly dressed men who would as soon lure you into the steam room and recruit you into the sodomite deathstyle choice as look at you.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Unsaved Trash, Lying bastard
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Posts: 67
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 04:37 PM
90. Having anything to do with scienctology or Tom Cruise.
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 04:42 PM
91. Going to any theater that ever showed "Broke Back Mountain."
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 06:00 PM
92. Attending a culinary class
93. Knowing your "astrological sign"
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 07:26 PM
#94: Owning a Cat.
Everyone knows that a Cat is the Pet of choice for a Homer (after a Gerbil) and who knows what evil things they do to a Cat.
Cats are evil creatures that spread Germs through the air. They wash their private parts with their Tongues and then spread their unclean AIDS ridden fur through the air.
If you have a Pussy, shave it right away!!!!
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 07:29 PM
95. Disco music. Of all brands of Devil's Music, this is the worst. Satan uses the pulsing beat (which is an imitation of the beastly rhythm of man-on-man gay sex) to entrance unsuspecting young men and lead them into the sodomite deathstyle.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 07:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
95. Disco music. Of all brands of Devil's Music, this is the worst. Satan uses the pulsing beat (which is an imitation of the beastly rhythm of man-on-man gay sex) to entrance unsuspecting young men and lead them into the sodomite deathstyle.
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Lets not forget the Rug-munching Lezbo's either Sister. With their Rug-munching Hell-bound ways.
Jesus weeps.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 07:38 PM
96. driving a Honda nsx
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! -
07-28-2008, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
Lets not forget the Rug-munching Lezbo's either Sister. With their Rug-munching Hell-bound ways.
Jesus weeps.
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Thank you Sister for pointing that out. I do admit I try not to think of those vile perverted lezbeans because they disgust me. They probably have more AIDS under their filthy fingernails than most homer men have in their entire bodies.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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