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How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knockers? -
02-23-2010, 04:48 AM
Hello all,
I am sure I am not the only one in this basket so I would like to hear good TRUE CHRISTIAN's thoughts on how to deal with door knocking Jehovah's?
I have tried everything from Throwing buckets of holy water on them, setting death traps with a Golden ticket to heaven as bait, employing Holy Hounds to do God's good work, and many other methods, but they always seem to get past these defenses and to my front door where they use their underhanded tactics to try convert me.
So how does the good LORD say we should deal with these Harbingers of Hell?
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Fourm Member
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 04:56 AM
Rottweilers
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:04 AM
Let's see what pastor Steve has to say about it:
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:12 AM
I don't have that problem since my mansion has a perimeter fence and all traffic going into my complex has to pass through an armed security checkpoint.
But, I advise people to never, ever let them into your house, even if you want to try and convert them.
2nd John 1:9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
2nd John 1:10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
2nd John 1:11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
We are commanded not to let unsaved scum like Jehovah Witnesses into our houses.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Unsaved trash Current Status: Driving the Short Bus
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:15 AM
They can't come in if you don't invite them.
Things are going to get worse before they get better.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulless Husk
Hello all,
I am sure I am not the only one in this basket so I would like to hear good TRUE CHRISTIAN's thoughts on how to deal with door knocking Jehovah's?
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I normally throw javelins at them from my roof.
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Let's see what pastor Steve has to say about it:
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Ok, so it seems like the only way to effectively take care of a Jehovah lover is to use the word of God as our ammo, and the KJV Bible as our gun, and unleash a s**tstorm of holy lead on these false Idol worshipping Jehovah miscreants.
Thanks Nobar.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:21 AM
I answer the door naked. Works every time.
ETA: I'm pretty gross naked. I sometimes step on parts of myself I shouldn't be stepping on.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I answer the door naked. Works every time.
ETA: I'm pretty gross naked. I sometimes step on parts of myself I shouldn't be stepping on.
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Brother, try not to tempt the pure women of this forum with your husky hairy pale white Christian stature.
They may do something they'll regret.
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:44 AM
How about using a sign like:
"We do Christian baptism's, bring your wife along and your child gets in free."
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 05:55 AM
In reality, one easy way of dealing with them is to send the wife to the door.
Me: You believe a wife should submit to her husband, correct?
Them: er.... um..... yes?
Me: Good, my husband says I shouldn't speak to you.
There really is no response to that, especially when the Rottweiler is sitting beside me.
If you're single, try buying "Guard dog on duty" signs. Not "Beware of dog" everyone with a teacup poodle has one of those. Somehow that sign saying "Guard dog" gets them a little nervous.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 06:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob
Brother, try not to tempt the pure women of this forum with your husky hairy pale white Christian stature.
They may do something they'll regret.
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I know my wife did. She regrets, and regrets and regrets...
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 09:23 PM
Why all this trouble? Just shoot them down. Or do you live in a liberal state where the law forbids you to shoot trespassers?
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
Why all this trouble? Just shoot them down. Or do you live in a liberal state where the law forbids you to shoot trespassers?
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Hail Disciple! Now that is a surefire way to solve the problem; a final solution if you will. I will remember that next time I hear a knocking on my door.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulless Husk
Hail Disciple! Now that is a surefire way to solve the problem; a final solution if you will. I will remember that next time I hear a knocking on my door.
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You're welcome!
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 10:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
Why all this trouble? Just shoot them down.
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Amen to that Brother. I did that once and they never bothered me again.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 11:04 PM
They may run off if you yell through a side window, "Look at those knockers!!!"
Only works if there's a female geehovey in the Group
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 11:18 PM
I set the dogs on them if they make it to my door.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-23-2010, 11:20 PM
I pay others to answer my door.
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Unsaved trash God-hating feminazi clown Advise pastors of any suspicious activity!
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Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker -
02-24-2010, 09:56 PM
Tell them you are late for an appointment to give blood. That is a mortal sin to them.
I don't have anything against them just don't like it when they tell me my dead relatives are not dead and are in some land between Heaven and Earth. Also If I say not interested leave me alone. Don't Push.
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