[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

You know how Jesus kills Christian children when He needs another little angel in heaven? Sadly, this phenemenon results in the long-term survival of the Christians Jesus needs least. Christ's rejects, if you will. After visiting the Freehold Maximum Security Retirement Chateux yesterday, I had suffered from so much elder wisdom that I was almost happy to think that Obama's death panels will be blowing up the whole building any day now.

They kept saying (paraphrased) "as I lie on my deathbed, I think I wasted too much of my life chasing money and success, I should have focused more on being happy with the little things, blah blah blah".

Yeah, of course you're saying that, gramps, all you've got is the little things. Like entertaining each other with epic tales of your bowels and related parts.

You don't even remember the spine-vibrating roar of a Hummer 3 spinning its tires, nor the feeling of the crowds eyes upon your thousand-dollar+ suit, the look of terror on the face of the underling as he apologizes for having brushed against you.

You wish you'd spent more time with your family? I doubt they'd return the compliment. And me, I spend plenty of time with my family: my $3,500, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel:



And my $19,999 H2 Hummer Golf Cart:



THIS is why Jesus put us on His earth. Not to harrass your innocent relations with hemmroid epics, not to oogle sunsets like some stupid plant, not to travel the heathen world. Get a grip, be useful to Christ, and maybe He'll have you ascend to heaven so you can leave those on earth alone.

[Bobby-Joe]

hmm, never thought of that Brother Jeb, getting a family by buying a dog. It really is getting old to see my two house keepers Juanita and Maria quiver in terror every time I look at them. I told Maria to relax, "we are family" and she screamed "Please don't send me over to Talitha again" and ran off to hid in the crawl space for 12 hours crying. It makes me feel a bit lonely at times.

Well I know what will get me out of my blues, a new PrestigeHD. That will cheer me up.

[H. Montague Worthington]

You are OH so right, Brother Jeb!!! Accumulating power, prestige, millions in precious metals, an enormous summer home, and a Norweigian yacht are its own reward!!

How is one supposed to tithe if one doesn't engage in ruthless Capitalism designed to crush one's competetors?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

You know, I'll state right now - I really don't understand beastiality. I don't understand beastiality at all. But looking at that dog...I can sort of, maybe, still not understand beastiality.

BTW isn't this kind of off-topic for this forum? I mean, we're meant to be trading thrifty tips. Like, close your eyes, imagine you're eating blue cheese, and sniff your feet.

Thrifty stuff. I guess you wouldn't understand.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

And my $19,999 H2 Hummer Golf Cart

I am going to get me one of those. Great fun for the grand kids! Thank you for the tip. I will park it next to my Hummer H1 Alpha so it can look cute!

Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington

How is one supposed to tithe if one doesn't engage in ruthless Capitalism designed to crush one's competetors?

I could not agree more. Just imagine we would have to share space with those poor Gold Tithers!

[James Dewitt]

Brothers, Happiness is a good steak dinner, and a wife that does not run her yap all day and night. Happiness is sitting in the bleachers watching a Pro. baseball game sipping on an ice cold brew, and leaving you yapping wife at home. Happiness is sitting in my hand made over size leather chair with the matching ottoman, reading the KJV1611. While my wife is in the kitchen tending to her black eye because she was running her mouth again

[Seth Campbell]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

Brothers, Happiness is a good steak dinner, and a wife that does not run her yap all day and night. Happiness is sitting in the bleachers watching a Pro. baseball game sipping on an ice cold brew, and leaving you yapping wife at home. Happiness is sitting in my hand made over size leather chair with the matching ottoman, reading the KJV1611. While my wife is in the kitchen tending to her black eye because she was running her mouth again

PREACH IT BROTHER

[James Hutchins]

Very simply, the more you earn, the more you can give to God. We owe Him, He gave us life and is providing us with an opportunity to go to heaven if we play our cards right.
He would not of given us Hummers, Escalades, 20,000 sqft vacation homes and all you can eat buffets if He did not want us to enjoy them. All all of this, is nothing compared to what heaven is like. I liken living well on Earth as a primer so when we get to Heaven, we do not feel overwhelmed.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

I liken living well on Earth as a primer so when we get to Heaven, we do not feel overwhelmed.

Amen to that Brother!