The Thrifty Christian Business, Investing and Finance Tips for True Christians™ |
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-15-2010, 05:59 PM
You know how Jesus kills Christian children when He needs another little angel in heaven? Sadly, this phenemenon results in the long-term survival of the Christians Jesus needs least. Christ's rejects, if you will. After visiting the Freehold Maximum Security Retirement Chateux yesterday, I had suffered from so much elder wisdom that I was almost happy to think that Obama's death panels will be blowing up the whole building any day now.
They kept saying (paraphrased) " as I lie on my deathbed, I think I wasted too much of my life chasing money and success, I should have focused more on being happy with the little things, blah blah blah".
Yeah, of course you're saying that, gramps, all you've got is the little things. Like entertaining each other with epic tales of your bowels and related parts.
You don't even remember the spine-vibrating roar of a Hummer 3 spinning its tires, nor the feeling of the crowds eyes upon your thousand-dollar+ suit, the look of terror on the face of the underling as he apologizes for having brushed against you.
You wish you'd spent more time with your family? I doubt they'd return the compliment. And me, I spend plenty of time with my family: my $3,500, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel:
And my $19,999 H2 Hummer Golf Cart:
THIS is why Jesus put us on His earth. Not to harrass your innocent relations with hemmroid epics, not to oogle sunsets like some stupid plant, not to travel the heathen world. Get a grip, be useful to Christ, and maybe He'll have you ascend to heaven so you can leave those on earth alone.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-15-2010, 06:14 PM
hmm, never thought of that Brother Jeb, getting a family by buying a dog. It really is getting old to see my two house keepers Juanita and Maria quiver in terror every time I look at them. I told Maria to relax, "we are family" and she screamed "Please don't send me over to Talitha again" and ran off to hid in the crawl space for 12 hours crying. It makes me feel a bit lonely at times.
Well I know what will get me out of my blues, a new PrestigeHD. That will cheer me up.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Last edited by Bobby-Joe; 04-15-2010 at 07:55 PM.
Reason: can't even remember my own house keepers name
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-15-2010, 06:19 PM
You are OH so right, Brother Jeb!!! Accumulating power, prestige, millions in precious metals, an enormous summer home, and a Norweigian yacht are its own reward!!
How is one supposed to tithe if one doesn't engage in ruthless Capitalism designed to crush one's competetors?
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-24-2010, 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
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You know, I'll state right now - I really don't understand beastiality. I don't understand beastiality at all. But looking at that dog...I can sort of, maybe, still not understand beastiality.
BTW isn't this kind of off-topic for this forum? I mean, we're meant to be trading thrifty tips. Like, close your eyes, imagine you're eating blue cheese, and sniff your feet.
Thrifty stuff. I guess you wouldn't understand.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-24-2010, 09:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
And my $19,999 H2 Hummer Golf Cart
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I am going to get me one of those. Great fun for the grand kids! Thank you for the tip. I will park it next to my Hummer H1 Alpha so it can look cute!
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
How is one supposed to tithe if one doesn't engage in ruthless Capitalism designed to crush one's competetors?
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I could not agree more. Just imagine we would have to share space with those poor Gold Tithers!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-25-2010, 01:10 AM
Brothers, Happiness is a good steak dinner, and a wife that does not run her yap all day and night. Happiness is sitting in the bleachers watching a Pro. baseball game sipping on an ice cold brew, and leaving you yapping wife at home. Happiness is sitting in my hand made over size leather chair with the matching ottoman, reading the KJV1611. While my wife is in the kitchen tending to her black eye because she was running her mouth again
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-25-2010, 08:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Brothers, Happiness is a good steak dinner, and a wife that does not run her yap all day and night. Happiness is sitting in the bleachers watching a Pro. baseball game sipping on an ice cold brew, and leaving you yapping wife at home. Happiness is sitting in my hand made over size leather chair with the matching ottoman, reading the KJV1611. While my wife is in the kitchen tending to her black eye because she was running her mouth again
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PREACH IT BROTHER
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-25-2010, 01:35 PM
Very simply, the more you earn, the more you can give to God. We owe Him, He gave us life and is providing us with an opportunity to go to heaven if we play our cards right.
He would not of given us Hummers, Escalades, 20,000 sqft vacation homes and all you can eat buffets if He did not want us to enjoy them. All all of this, is nothing compared to what heaven is like. I liken living well on Earth as a primer so when we get to Heaven, we do not feel overwhelmed.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Let's talk about happiness and the Meaning Of Life -
04-25-2010, 01:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
I liken living well on Earth as a primer so when we get to Heaven, we do not feel overwhelmed.
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Amen to that Brother!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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