[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Twitter is wonderful, we all love twitter, blah blah okay, the twitter users have stopped reading by now, what with their short attention spans, dying batteries, and exploding Samsung phones.

No, twitter is stupid, people who use twitter are stupid, and Ben Shapiro is very, very smart.

Yes, Ben Shapiro just did what millions of pro-life marchers before him failed to do: make the media report on the March for Life. All he had to do was say these, short, sweet, twitter-friendly words:

"The truth is no pro-life person would kill baby Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby" -Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro, a Jew, would abduct baby Hitler. Sounds like a far-fetched plan, but if anyone could and would invent a time machine and then use it to abduct Christian babies, it would be a Jew.

Me, I would use the time machine to buy lots of Microsoft Stocks. Preventing WW2 means no Saving Private Ryan, and that was a great movie. Also, I'm not one of those arrogant consequentialists who thinks they can predict the exact long-term consequence of their actions. I believe that the end's don't justify the means, because nobody can predict what the ends will actually be. Oh, and I love the scene with that badass sniper saying Bible verses before he shoots.

But anyway, now that the media's "Eye Of Sauron" is upon the pro-life movement, let's discuss: Would we kill Baby Hitler?


Jeb Bush, who is moderately intelligent, says "hell yeah!" to killing the above baby:

He backtracks a bit, based on physics data he got from a Hollywood movie. But as for the actual baby-strangling bit, he will "step up" with no hesitation, mercy, or remorse.

Twitter, which is very, very stupid, says...Well, let's look at a sample of typical tweets I've already come across:

HOW WOULD U NOT KILL BABY HITLER? i would literally suck hitler's dad's dick and swallow hitler before he even became a baby if it meant saving 17 million people's lives.

Ugg, you know what, let's not quote twitter. Better yet, let's never speak of twitter ever again.