[Andreas]

When will Jesus return?

I thought one of the pastors could ask him.

I just can't wait.

I hope my name is written in the book of life... Perhaps I should tithe more for that...

[SalvationSeeker]

Praise!

Jesus will return soon, and soon can't come enough.
It will be glorious indeed, Brother Andrew.


"And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.

And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God; That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.

And I saw the beast, and the kings of the earth, and their armies, gathered together to make war against him that sat on the horse, and against his army. And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image.

These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone. And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh."
Revelation 19:15-21


Words cannot describe how much I am looking forward to this.
GLORY!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

The day that the godless HOMERS are cast into a pit of burning sulfur is the day that I throw a party in my GODLY mansion in heaven! I can't wait until the sissy pope is cast down -- oh to see the look on his face as he bends over to allow Satan's glass-encrusted tallywhacker to sodomize him for all eternity! PRAISE!

[Andreas]

The day that the godless HOMERS are cast into a pit of burning sulfur is the day that I throw a party in my GODLY mansion in heaven! I can't wait until the sissy pope is cast down -- oh to see the look on his face as he bends over to allow Satan's glass-encrusted tallywhacker to sodomize him for all eternity! PRAISE!

That would make a great party.

I hope I'm invited.

I can't wait to see the devil's brother.. ups..the pope screaming from the lowest pits of hell.

[Brother_Mike]

My motto is, tithe as if Jesus is coming tomorrow.

[MoonFlower]

I got a question for you Mike. I tithe all the time as well as help out during volunteer events (it gets boring inside my Sycamore). My Pa'daddy comes every Sunday and drags me out of my comfy bed so I could attend church. So, don't I have a better chance of going to Summerland...oops...Heaven than regular ole heathens that DON'T help out, tithe, or go to church???

Moon

[Brother_Mike]

Originally Posted by MoonFlower

I got a question for you Mike. I tithe all the time as well as help out during volunteer events (it gets boring inside my Sycamore). My Pa'daddy comes every Sunday and drags me out of my comfy bed so I could attend church. So, don't I have a better chance of going to Summerland...oops...Heaven than regular ole heathens that DON'T help out, tithe, or go to church???

Moon

Nope, only True Christians™ go to Heaven.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Brother_Mike

Nope, only True Christians™ go to Heaven.

If there were really a heaven, if the above were the case I'd happily go in the opposite direction.

And least then I wouldn't have to SING.

[Brother_Mike]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

If there were really a heaven, if the above were the case I'd happily go in the opposite direction.

And least then I wouldn't have to SING.

If you willfully prefer being sodomized by satan and his minions for all eternity in the lake of fire then what does that say about your personality?

[lilith]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

If there were really a heaven, if the above were the case I'd happily go in the opposite direction.

And least then I wouldn't have to SING.

And the company would be SO much more interesting.

[Brother_Mike]

Originally Posted by lilith

And the company would be SO much more interesting.

Too bad your mouth will be full so you can't even talk to the company.

[Brother V]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

If there were really a heaven, if the above were the case I'd happily go in the opposite direction.

And least then I wouldn't have to SING.

Heavens choir is MEN ONLY!!!

Revelation 14:1 And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads.

2 And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps:

3 And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.

4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb

Heavens choir is 144,000 men who are virgins, who haven't defiled themselves with women. So it is ok for you to someday (maybe) make it to heaven, if you don't want to sing. NO GIRLS!

YIC
V

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by lilith

And the company would be SO much more interesting.

Right on, Lilith.

If you willfully prefer being sodomized by satan and his minions for all eternity in the lake of fire then what does that say about your personality?

I said if there WAS a hell and heaven...and if there was...well....from what the Pastors here say it seems it would be a lot of singing things to pander to a gigantic ego.
Plus spending forever with all of you

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Brother V

Heavens choir is MEN ONLY!!!

Revelation 14:1 And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads.

2 And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps:

3 And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.

4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb

Heavens choir is 144,000 men who are virgins, who haven't defiled themselves with women. So it is ok for you to someday (maybe) make it to heaven, if you don't want to sing. NO GIRLS!

YIC
V

Bah. Women's singing voices often make male ones pale in comparison.....except, so I've heard, castrati

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Bah. Women's singing voices often make male ones pale in comparison.....except, so I've heard, castrati

Well the point is kinda of academic for you harlot since the closest you will get to singing is gargling on demonic trouser snake.

[SalvationSeeker]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

I said if there WAS a hell and heaven...and if there was...well....from what the Pastors here say it seems it would be a lot of singing things to pander to a gigantic ego.
Plus spending forever with all of you

So you'd prefer getting sodomised over going to Heaven and praising Jesus?
If sodomy is your idea of Heaven, then you are clearly in need of deep spiritual assistance.

Infact, I am personally worried about your spiritual wellbeing, Rachel!
So what's your adress down there in, Australia was it?
I could come over (I have a jet), and we can pray together.

You must not shut Jesus love out, or reject to be filled up by it, or you will be lost forever.
Instead: Rejoice woman! There may yet be hope for you... Should you accept my aid, that is.


Let noone say that True Christians™ don't care.