Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
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Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 01:30 AM
If I could ask a question of the ladies of Landover who have been fortunate enough to be blessed by the Lord of a husband?
I'm 31 now and have no sons. I have been very negligent in my duty, I can't deny, but that is the situation. Clearly I need to remedy it with some urgency if I'm to be saved.
How did you meet your husbands? I'm in the UK so some distance from God's Favourite Country and from what I gather the immigration process could take several years. I think I'll be looking within the tiny pool of True Christians in this country. I had considered some of these internet dating sites I've heard of, but it seems doubtful that anyone suitable will be there.
Any advice? I toyed with putting this in the dating thread but I thought I'd start here - after all the last thing the men want is to be bothered by my harping on while they're busy in their searches.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 02:03 AM
Have you tried praying to God for a husband?
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psalm 37:4
If God isn't giving you a husband, it's because you're disappointing Him in some way.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 02:08 AM
I am certainly disappointing him. There are a list of sins I'm currently guilty of, and biblical commands that I have not fulfilled, but unfortunately they take time to remedy. I felt prayer would be fairly useless at this time as God would only ignore me (John 9:31)
I take from your reply that until I am saved there is no point in searching, as God will grant it me through prayer once I am saved. Is that right?
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Gushing for Jesus
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 02:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
I am certainly disappointing him. There are a list of sins I'm currently guilty of, and biblical commands that I have not fulfilled, but unfortunately they take time to remedy. I felt prayer would be fairly useless at this time as God would only ignore me (John 9:31)
I take from your reply that until I am saved there is no point in searching, as God will grant it me through prayer once I am saved. Is that right?
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No dear, that is not right. Once you are saved you need not do more than stand there with your mouth agape waiting for God to fill it with a husband.
I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt: open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Psalm 81:10
From where do you get the idea that you have to remedy your sins? What do you think Jesus' temporarily painful death on the cross was all about?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 02:32 AM
"Remedy" was the wrong word, and I apologise for the confusion.
I'll use an example rather than muddy the waters more by trying to think of the correct words.
I wore, until recently, my hair very short. Clearly I now realise that is against 1 Corinthians 11. But hair takes time to grow. That is what I was trying to convey by "remedy". Bring myself into a state where Christ would accept me might be a better choice of words.
But it seems that finding a husband, once I am saved, will be alot easier than I had thought. I need simply kneel before my maker (Psalm 95:6) with, as you say, my mouth agape and the Lord will ensure it is filled?
Last edited by Catherine Moore; 02-17-2012 at 02:34 AM.
Reason: Ephesians 5:4
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 03:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
If I could ask a question of the ladies of Landover who have been fortunate enough to be blessed by the Lord of a husband?
I'm 31 now and have no sons.
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31!? Sweet Jesus woman you're old enough to be a grandmother here in Freehold. What's wrong with you? Are you a hunchback or something?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 03:49 AM
No pastor. It's just up until recently I had, errrr, other interests. Ones not really geared up for childbearing. Forgive me if I sound cagey, I just don't want to offend the ears of any of the women of the Church who might happen to read.
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocking fool
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Posts: 79
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 03:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
No dear, that is not right. Once you are saved you need not do more than stand there with your mouth agape waiting for God to fill it with a husband.
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Or alternatively, it works the other way as well, praise Jesus, kneel down in servitude mouth agape and there will be no end to the amount of men willing to become one with you.
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 04:39 AM
My, the godless can be tiresome can't they.
Still:
Gal 6:7 - Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
I imagine I was just as tiresome for most of my life and this is nothing more than my just deserts.
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Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocking fool
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Posts: 79
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 06:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
My, the godless can be tiresome can't they.
I imagine I was just as tiresome for most of my life and this is nothing more than my just deserts.
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Sounds like you're still tiresome, and what's the desert got to do with it?
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 08:34 AM
Just deserts. The root is the same as "deserve", its just a coincidence its spelt the same as the word for a sandy place.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 160
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 01:43 PM
You're 31 and no husband??? I can't even fathom that!! You should try to go get raped, at least then you would get married
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 03:28 PM
31????? OK, let's do some math. Let's say you started your unclean time around 12 years old, every 28 days that bill comes due, and you're 31 now.
19 years X 365 = 6,935 days
6,935 / 28 = 247 unclean cycles
Good Lord woman, you have literally flushed 247 potential Soldiers for Christ© right down the toilet: AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO IT AGAIN IN 8 DAYS!!!!!
Let's get with the program, huh?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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02-17-2012, 03:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dicker
Or alternatively, it works the other way as well, praise Jesus, kneel down in servitude mouth agape and there will be no end to the amount of men willing to become one with you.
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You do realise this is a family site, don't you? Kindly moderate your language
Jesus gets my vote!
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Location: Surrounded by queers.
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02-17-2012, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
No pastor. It's just up until recently I had, errrr, other interests. Ones not really geared up for childbearing. Forgive me if I sound cagey, I just don't want to offend the ears of any of the women of the Church who might happen to read.
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Maybe these other interests and your previous short hair may have accidentally put manly menfolk off?
How long have you been free of these 'other interests'?
Jesus sees into you!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
Bring myself into a state where Christ would accept me might be a better choice of words.
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No dear, it might not. You see, you can never bring yourself into a state where Christ would accept you. God can't stand sin, you see, and between sinful man and God, God always wins. Consider Uzzah who thought he could find a loophole to being accepted near God:
And when they came to Nachon's threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it.
And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.
2 Samuel 6:6-7
The only way to be acceptable to God is to have your name written in the Book of Life:
And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.
Revelation 21:27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
But it seems that finding a husband, once I am saved, will be alot easier than I had thought. I need simply kneel before my maker (Psalm 95:6) with, as you say, my mouth agape and the Lord will ensure it is filled?
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Yes. Our LORD is sovereign and knows where the man who is to be your husband is right now. The only thing holding that man back is you. Confess your sins and accept Jesus as your LORD (Romans 10:9) and Master (Matthew 7:21), you shall be saved.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 06:04 PM
Ditzy - I did toy with suggesting it, but I didn't want to put anyone to the effort of finding the shekels - I'm not sure where one would even begin nowadays. Maybe once my father has died, if its not too late.
Zechariah - I shall have to take your word. Foolishly I had always believed I was relatively strong at Maths. Since devoting my life to Jesus though I have realised how incredibly unlikely that is and so have done little more than glanced at your numbers.
Larni - undoubtedly the case.
Mary - thank you for your help there. I must increase my knowledge of scripture so I don't look so foolish.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 07:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore
Just deserts. The root is the same as "deserve", its just a coincidence its spelt the same as the word for a sandy place.
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No.
des·ert
1 [dez-ert]
noun 1. a region so arid because of little rainfall that it supports only sparse and widely spaced vegetation or no vegetation at all: ...
Origin:
1175–1225; Middle English < Anglo-French < Late Latin dēsertum (neuter), noun use of past participle of Latin dēserere to abandon, forsake, equivalent to dē- de- + serere to join together (in a line);
des·sert
[dih-zurt] Show IPA
noun 1. cake, pie, fruit, pudding, ice cream, etc., served as the final course of a meal...
Origin:
1780–90; < French, derivative of desservir to clear the table. See dis-1 , serve
de·serve
[dih-zurv] Show IPA verb, -served, -serv·ing.
verb (used with object) 1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation:
Origin:
1250–1300; Middle English deserven < Anglo-French, Old French deservir, Latin dēservīre to devote oneself to the service of, equivalent to dē- de- + servīre to serve
Three different words, three different origins. Source: http://dictionary.reference.com
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 07:12 PM
No.
Desert means an arid area and comes from one route. It also - an entirely different word which just happens to have the same spelling - is derived from the same route as deserves and means something that is deserved.
Scripture agrees,
Psalm 28:4
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Re: Finding a husband -
02-17-2012, 07:21 PM
If Scripture is for some reason not suitable for your atheist mind your own reference agrees with me. Simply scroll down the page (it's probably the slider on the right) to see:
de·sert
3 /dɪˈzɜrt/ Show Spelled[dih-zurt] Show IPA
noun 1. Often, deserts . reward or punishment that is deserved: to get one's just deserts. Synonyms: due, payment, recompense, reward; justice, retaliation, retribution, penalty.
2. the state or fact of deserving reward or punishment.
3. the fact of deserving well. Synonyms: merit, virtue, worth.
Origin:
1275–1325; Middle English < Old French deserte, noun use of feminine past participle of deservir to deserve
Can be confused: deserts, desserts.
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