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Smile 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 09-08-2015, 03:33 PM

You might have seen a thread here called "Read this before you flame us!" It really needs to be updated, but the main point stands: True Christians are no more right-wing than tens of millions of rank-and-file Republicans. The only difference is that we don't hide our true feelings.

For the last half-century Republicans have promised to return America to 1950, but have not admitted that we mean 1950 BC.

Quote:

"You're Fired!"
Donald Trump leads in the polls because he's doing what True Christians do: the same things as other Republicans, only honestly.

4 facts we no longer have to hide:


1. Social conservatism is just slogans. True Republicans don't care about philandering, divorce, gambling or ties to organized crime. Who cares if Donald Trump owns casinos, does business with the Mafia, and trades in his old wife for a younger model every decade? That sort of thing would destroy a politician's career in the 1950's, but not in 1950 BC.

Quote:

Take that, ISIS! Our sultan has the better Harem!
I'm so old I remember when conservatives valued being polite, chivalrous towards women, and restrained. Some sort of gibberish about "keeping discourse at a high tone" or something. Rush Limbaugh got that nonsense out of our culture, and now Donald Trump is working to remove it from politics.


2. The Republican Party is a single issue party. That single issue is kicking out the Mexicans. All of them. He's waffled and flip-flopped on everything else, but that's fine because everything else is irrelevant.

R.I.N.O. cuckservative Republicans talk tough on illegal immigration, but of course it's the legal ones that pose the real threat. Legal immigrants can vote, they can join unions, they can become respectable and therefore influential.

Illegal immigrants work for us and cost next to nothing. If they get uppity, we can get them deported. That's why Republicans didn't do anything about illegal immigration when we had total power in 2001 through 2007. Remember that? The Republican Party had overwhelming control of every branch of government. Why didn't we do so much as build a speedbump? Because we have a completely different plan.

The perfect solution is to strip citizenship rights from all immigrants - going all the way back to whatever ship arrived right after the Mayflower. This isn't politically feasible at the moment, but Donald Trump's "deport 'em all and let God sort 'em out" approach is a good way to start.


3. Working class Republicans are the real cuckolds.

You know how women love you more and more the worse you treat them? Turns out that submissive, masochistic tendency also exists among working-class Republicans. Why else have a crush on a guy who is famous for being the boss from hell, and brutally firing people?


"I'd look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I'd say, 'Rosie, you're fired.'" - Donald Trump
Notice how he's especially rough on women. Kicking around women is probably where he learned the art of manipulating the submissive personality. It's certainly where I did.


4. Corruption is okay now.

If the failure of every attempt at campaign finance reform has taught us anything, it's that the best place for bribery and corruption isn't smoke-filled back rooms. Corruption is best done in plain sight. Donald Trump embraces this by bragging about his corruptibility:
If you can’t get rich dealing with politicians, there’s something wrong with you.” - Donald Trump
Time to check if there's any nowhere islands near your house, because for the next 8 years we might run out of nowheres to build bridges to.
"I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively." - Donald Trump
Why waste time with competitive contracting, when politicians can just award contracts to themselves? About about time we stopped pretending to fight corruption. Bush pretended to fight corruption and his attack on the world's weakest military power went overtime by 8 years and over budget by 3 Trillion bucks ($3,000,000,000,000).

Surely we'll get more opportunities for "financial irregularities" from a guy who BRAGS about corruption.

More advice: work on your horse-judging skills. FEMA is going to need a new head, after all.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 09-08-2015 at 05:36 PM.
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Default Re: 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 09-09-2015, 06:41 PM

This is a fantastic summary of contemporary conservative thought. The only thing that troubles me is how complicated it is with all those different categories to remember. I just want Trump to get elected and get on with sorting everything out already. I mean, we should have nuked the middle east and gotten that problem fixed by now. Hey, middle east? YOUR FIRED!!!!11!!


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 01-26-2016, 07:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
1. Social conservatism is just slogans.
Jerry Faldwell Jr. endorsed Donald Trump. 42 percent of Evangelicals support Trump, even though Donald Trump brags, in print, about affairs with married women:
"If I told the real stories of my experiences with women, often seemingly very happily married and important women, this book would be a guaranteed best-seller."
"I have too much respect for women in general, but if I did [write about my love life], the world would take serious notice. Beautiful, famous, successful, married — I've had them all, secretly, the world's biggest names..."
From: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...hy-tweetstorm/

Of course we don't mind, the blame for these affairs lies with the cuckolded husbands, who failed to keep their women under control. Donald Trump was just doing what real men do when weak men fail to keep their women locked up. Anyone in 1950BC would understand that.

Quote:
The Republican Party is a single issue party.
Summed up best by Anne Coulter: "I don't care if @realDonaldTrump wants to perform abortions in White House after this immigration policy paper."

https://twitter.com/anncoulter/statu...54040675078144
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Default Re: 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 01-27-2016, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Jerry Faldwell Jr. endorsed Donald Trump. 42 percent of Evangelicals support Trump, even though Donald Trump brags, in print, about affairs with married women
I must tell you that there is a strange phenomenon where non-Catholics, often Baptwit men, will show up in a Church and ask to receive confession as if they have been baptized in the faith and had their confirmation... .

Of course, we try to be helpful but this is no joke and one must take the Sacraments as seriously as the second amendment. (Making this easy for Americans to understand okay?)

The first things out of their mouths, besides their Pastor's manhood, is usually the need to speak of extra-marital affairs and how many they have been involved in. Remember, what is said in confession is strictly confidential... unless you are not actually a Catholic at which point it is more akin to waiving your Miranda rights while blathering into a police tape recorder like a newly outed Cabana boy looking to make a buck the soft way.

I cannot in good conscience release the actual recordings, but there is a well known story about how Mr. Trump seems to get his jollies by going to confession and pretending to speak of countless affairs with famous and beautiful women who clearly would be dealing with a serious grudge against their lady parts.

The truth though, is different. Lies leap from his tongue like jumpers exiting a burning skyscraper and for all of his bluster he assuredly sees less action than a blind centenarian in a Mormon brothel.

Does this make him more of a viable candidate for the Evangelical right?

No.

He is a liar and has, while taking his time and asking for some Kleenex, spoken relentlessly about a fling with Megyn Kelly as if he thinks we Clergy just fell off of the turnip truck in 'downtown' Freehold!

Mr. Trump is only teaching folks that lying again and again is the American way to success but Heaven knows that tactic has never been effective in American politics.





Bless you, my corpulent correspondent,
Father Mo




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Default Re: 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 01-27-2016, 04:24 AM

Here is something that may dampen the love affair with Trump.....

*** removed link to NAMBLA recruiting site ***


Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 01-27-2016 at 04:34 AM. Reason: Inappropriate link.
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Default Re: 4 things Donald Trump teaches us about American politics - 01-27-2016, 04:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
Here is something that may dampen the love affair with Trump.....

*** removed link to NAMBLA recruiting site ***
Love affair? Why do you Jesus-haters insist on making everything some homersexural fantasy?



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