Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > The Thrifty Christian
Reload this Page Chastity Devices: Good Investment?
The Thrifty Christian Business, Investing and Finance Tips for True Christians™

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Question Chastity Devices: Good Investment? - 09-30-2016, 11:19 PM

I am not a greedy man, but I do want to see my trust fund grow. Tithing is obviously the best way to get the most return on investments.


(Malachi 3:10-12) "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. {11} I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. {12} "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty."


The chastity of our Christian sisters must be preserved. What could be more disappointing than to discover on our wedding night that our beloved has already known a man? While I know that any good Christian doctor will provide a full certificate of virginity for a reasonable fee, what if we encouraged chastity devices to be worn from a young age that are only capable of being removed by the girl's father, pastor, or other trusted male? This would create a demand for the devices and I would think stock prices would rise. I don't want to end up a poor old man, so while I am young, virile, masculine, and capable of siring thousands of sons, I want to build up my treasures here on earth while I wait for my Father's reward in Heaven.


Should I stick to tithing or play the chastity investment game?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ

 
Posts: 7,445
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Chastity Devices: Good Investment? - 10-01-2016, 12:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I am not a greedy man, but I do want to see my trust fund grow. Tithing is obviously the best way to get the most return on investments.

what if we encouraged chastity devices to be worn from a young age that are only capable of being removed by the girl's father, pastor, or other trusted male?


Should I stick to tithing or play the chastity investment game?
Dear BrotherLarry, far be it for me to offer investment advice, but chastity devices still present . . . oh dear, how shall I put this? . . certain vulnerabilities that could possibly encourage a more grievous sin than fornication.


Prayer and unrelenting parental vigilance are the wisest investments of all. Also, having young people sign purity pledges--I hear those work great!


Helpfully Yours,


Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
southerngirl97 southerngirl97 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 37
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Tennessee
southerngirl97 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.southerngirl97 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Chastity Devices: Good Investment? - 12-10-2016, 08:05 AM

yes chastity belts are still alive and well and I happily and proudly wear one
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,625
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Chastity Devices: Good Investment? - 12-13-2016, 06:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngirl97 View Post
yes chastity belts are still alive and well and I happily and proudly wear one

A Tollyboy, I hope. Their FGA 200 is the best you can buy over the counter. Anything better you need to have custom made.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved