General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
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Posts: 283
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Amsterdam
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-10-2011, 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Let's see. The term "dinosaur" was created in the mid 19th century. The KJV Bible that we use was published in 1611, so please explain how a word is going to be in print before it even exists?
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I thought God guided those who wrote the Bible? Are you telling me God didn't know this was going to happen?
Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
- Ecclesiastes xii.7
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Alabama
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-13-2011, 04:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rapture Eddie
If you've ever read a Harry Potter Book, YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you've ever played a Video game YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you have ever masturbated YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you own a Prius YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you ever voted Democrat YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you ever listened to Celine Dion or Barry Manilow YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
If you are Canadian YOU HAVE COLONIC DEMONS
Friends, this list just goes on.
We are offering a special deal on our world famous Jesus Enema© right now, right here.
With a full money back guarantee if not satisfied that those pesky Demons have been flushed out.
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If I've done five of these things, do I need five Jesus Enemas? Does that mean I get to feel the ecstacy of Jesus filling my colon five times?
Reason and science are the tools of Satan!
PRAISE JESUS!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-13-2011, 04:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Atheist
If I've done five of these things, do I need five Jesus Enemas? Does that mean I get to feel the ecstacy of Jesus filling my colon five times?
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Shout GLORY!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-13-2011, 02:05 PM
Insert the Holy Hosepipe!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 9
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma. The bible-belt. Ugh
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-25-2011, 09:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Amen Brother Eddie! I can't tell you how many hours I have spent cleaning demons out of nubile young men's rectums! From the boy brothels of Bombay to the sin salons of Singapore, I've called upon the Holy Ghost to keep my resolve ROCK HARD in the saddle. It's a tough, sweaty job but someone's got to do it.
Shout GLORY!
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For someone who hates homosexuals, that has got to be the gayest thing I've ever read.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 02:35 AM
can any of you ''men of god'' please explain how exactly the procedure to remove the demons from ones rectum is carried?
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 03:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xepho123
can any of you ''men of god'' please explain how exactly the procedure to remove the demons from ones rectum is carried?
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Yes.
(Any further elaboration of this response requires you to rephrase your question into something approaching the grammatically correct, and an explanation as to why these learned gentlemen should reveal their trade secrets to a rank amateur who would have no idea what to do with a colonic demon once they had their hands on one. )
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,179
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MIA
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 09:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confirmed_Atheist
For someone who hates homosexuals, that has got to be the gayest thing I've ever read.
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Do you have any Biblical proof for your rambling, incoherent statement?
Nothing, not even disgust, can stop True Christians™ at performing acts of faith.
Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.
... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,179
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MIA
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 01:31 PM
Colonic demons are real; sometimes I can literally smell their disgusting, unholy stench.
Godspeed
Dan U. Holier
Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.
... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 09:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Yes.
(Any further elaboration of this response requires you to rephrase your question into something approaching the grammatically correct, and an explanation as to why these learned gentlemen should reveal their trade secrets to a rank amateur who would have no idea what to do with a colonic demon once they had their hands on one. )
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you know i just wanted to make fun of how gay this is its incredible how gay most of the men are when they at the same time hates homosexuals and apparently wants to kill all of them. by the way demons in the rectum? its the most stupid thing i have ever heard i actually laughed a bit its just some random excuse to piffle some dudes ass. (excuse my language.)
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 10:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xepho123
...its the most stupid thing i have ever heard i actually laughed a bit...
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So stupidity is funny to you? Why are you so hateful?
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-28-2011, 11:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
So stupidity is funny to you? Why are you so hateful?
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yeah when they are so stupid its actually quite funny. and your saying im hateful? haha i have never in my life seen such hatred as ive seen in these people... they hate everyone but them selves. apparently you burn in hell if your from any other country than america and apparently all black people are slaves and are the trash of the country? these people are the true trash of the country also they think its okay to hit their wife and kids? i truly feel sorry for them i thought that Christianity was about love... but ive seen that these people have lost the true meaning of Christianity and can barely call themselves Christians anymore i just hope that satan will have mercy upon their souls when they arrive in hell even though they dont deserve it.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 12:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xepho123
yeah when they are so stupid its actually quite funny. and your saying im hateful? haha i have never in my life seen such hatred as ive seen in these people... they hate everyone but them selves. apparently you burn in hell if your from any other country than america and apparently all black people are slaves and are the trash of the country? these people are the true trash of the country also they think its okay to hit their wife and kids? i truly feel sorry for them i thought that Christianity was about love... but ive seen that these people have lost the true meaning of Christianity and can barely call themselves Christians anymore i just hope that satan will have mercy upon their souls when they arrive in hell even though they dont deserve it.
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If the true meaning of Christianity does not come from the Bible, where does it come from? What YOU say?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 12:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xepho123
...i thought that Christianity was about love...
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Have you ever even read the Bible?
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Unsaved trash, Swedish Terrorist
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Posts: 32
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 08:30 AM
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 08:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukandersen
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Obvious Photoshop.
By the way, this Thread is for warning folk about Rectal Demons.
The Flat Earth Thread is elsewhere. Please keep up
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Unsaved trash, Swedish Terrorist
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Posts: 32
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 10:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
Obvious Photoshop.
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Of course you say that. -.-'
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,179
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MIA
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
07-29-2011, 10:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukandersen
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What this picture supposes to show? Your lost marbles in the dark? We can pray for you, but cannot find them instead of you, son.
If you’d really like to confront a True Christian authority on this scope, you can try here.
Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.
... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: isle of man
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
08-06-2011, 11:05 PM
This is no joke,they do exist.demons can enter the body in many ways and manifest themselves in the form of odour sound and colour.
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Mammy
Forum Member
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Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
08-10-2011, 10:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xepho123
you know i just wanted to make fun of how gay this is its incredible how gay most of the men are when they at the same time hates homosexuals and apparently wants to kill all of them. by the way demons in the rectum? its the most stupid thing i have ever heard i actually laughed a bit its just some random excuse to piffle some dudes ass. (excuse my language.)
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You ain't be laughin fo long. Anyways, iffen you had a brain you would know it's them ole Joowish Drs that done put the devil up good Christians asses! How do you think they got up there in the first place? The JOOS!
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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