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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-01-2011, 06:25 PM
"Jesus was a jew", "The holocaust is real", "Anne Frank was innocent". People spamming this thread with their ignorance.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-02-2011, 03:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
"Jesus was a jew", "The holocaust is real", "Anne Frank was innocent". People spamming this thread with their ignorance.
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Well, they hate Jesus you see.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-02-2011, 09:26 AM
The Holocaust itself is a joke. Okay, so a few hundred (maybe a thousand...I'll admit that) Jews might have died during working in socialist labor camps created to help unemployed people. "Concentration camps" were no different than what FDR created with his "New Deal" and put millions of Americans to work under federal tax dollar expense. Germany, being at war and under constant barrage of Allied fire, could not properly care for the hard-working Jews (who loved being there, by the way, since they had jobs) and thus you had some Jewish workers who died of starvation or disease. And the occasional accident where they fall into an oven.
But, because of JEWISH-CONTROLLED MEDIA...the top 3 TV networks in the USA are controlled by Jews, along with most of Hollywood, they try to capitalize off of this and come up with the Holocaust myth. And people, naturally being idiots, just eat it up without any critical thinking skills.
Think about it. Schindler's List...made by a Jew, Steven Spielberg. Of course it's going to lie and promote propaganda. Are people stupid enough to expect an objective, non-political, independent look at the Holocaust? PLEASE!
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-02-2011, 09:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
The Holocaust itself is a joke. Okay, so a few hundred (maybe a thousand...I'll admit that) Jews might have died during working in socialist labor camps created to help unemployed people.
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Of course they died. If you have a few million people over a period of about 5 years, usually about 6% of them will die. So under normal circumstances over 100,000 of them should have died. That in reality the amount was much lower means the Nazi's have completely pampered and spoiled those ungrateful Jews. I am sure if the Nazi's would have known in advance all those Jews would lie about the matter, they would have treated those undeserving Jews much harsher.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,479
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sinful north, near the Eskimos
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-02-2011, 10:13 AM
And you must remember that same time, over 3 million soldiers AND over 3 million civilians died due to war in Germany. And what if some Jews died in Poland? Why was it Germany's fault? No!
And the Joke:
If you put righteous Jew, Jewish usurer, Santa Claus and Super man in the four different corners of the football (or soccer) field and drop a ball in the middle of the field, who would be first to catch the ball?
Jewish usurer of course, all others are just fairy tale creatures.
Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-03-2011, 09:28 PM
May I ask where all of the anti-semitism stems from? Yes, I understand it was the Jewish people who sent Jesus to his death, but are all Jews really bad people??? I know of multiple Jewish people who are very nice, and it seems to me that this is a large hasty generalization against the Jews. And also, I don't worship satan, or promote prostitution as many of you have thrown upon others trying to ask these same questions.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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06-03-2011, 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan314
May I ask where all of the anti-semitism stems from? Yes, I understand it was the Jewish people who sent Jesus to his death, but are all Jews really bad people??? I know of multiple Jewish people who are very nice, and it seems to me that this is a large hasty generalization against the Jews. And also, I don't worship satan, or promote prostitution as many of you have thrown upon others trying to ask these same questions.
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I don't get it.
It's true that some humor is too "highbrow" for me, so maybe that's the case here.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,363
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Opening doors for little old ladies, helping the blind to see.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-03-2011, 10:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan314
May I ask where all of the anti-semitism stems from? Yes, I understand it was the Jewish people who sent Jesus to his death, but are all Jews really bad people??? I know of multiple Jewish people who are very nice, and it seems to me that this is a large hasty generalization against the Jews. And also, I don't worship satan, or promote prostitution as many of you have thrown upon others trying to ask these same questions.
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I think he's being sarcastic.
Not my cup of tea, but we can't expect people to hit home runs with every joke!
* * *
Why did so many jews die in the concentration camps?
Because they're deathly allergic to hard work!
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 01:43 PM
When Victory for the Allies was declared in Europe, British Prime Minister (a Conservative I might add) ordered his soldiers to take photos of the Nazi Camps and gather any evidence they could for what happened in these camps. It was questioned why he ordered soldiers to do that. His response was "Because one day people will say this never happened."
Explain why the Nazis had invented different types of gas during the war. Each new gas they found killed more and killed quicker. I suppose it was just for fun though...
But, of course, the Holocaust isn't in the Bible so it can't be real can it... silly me...
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 01:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by oddbod
When Victory for the Allies was declared in Europe, British Prime Minister (a Conservative I might add) ordered his soldiers to take photos of the Nazi Camps and gather any evidence they could for what happened in these camps. It was questioned why he ordered soldiers to do that. His response was "Because one day people will say this never happened."
Explain why the Nazis had invented different types of gas during the war. Each new gas they found killed more and killed quicker. I suppose it was just for fun though...
But, of course, the Holocaust isn't in the Bible so it can't be real can it... silly me...
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You really need to work on your delivery.
I mean, that was almost funny, but it missed the mark by about 3477 cubits.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
You really need to work on your delivery.
I mean, that was almost funny, but it missed the mark by about 3477 cubits.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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I know, this humour that's not actually meant to be funny isn't very funny at all is it? A bit like all these "jokes."
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 02:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by oddbod
I know, this humour that's not actually meant to be funny isn't very funny at all is it? A bit like all these "jokes."
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Look, if you don't have a sense of humor, why click on a joke thread? It seems like a waste of your time and a waste of God's bandwidth.
YiC,
Z. Smyth
P.S.
Q: Why was the joo so popular at the alcoholic party?
A: He was a lampshade!!!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
You are uninvited to this thread, filthy scum!
The jews killed Jesus, thats the greatest sin anyone can do.
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Actually it was the Romans who killed Jesus. They commited the act. The Romans later adopted Christianity ironically enough.
Oh by the way, it was Catholics who wrote your Holy Book (unless you have an Urtext Edition of course.)
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Christ's Antiquarius True Christian™ Creation Scientist
True Christian™
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Posts: 752
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Freehold
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by oddbod
Oh by the way, it was Catholics who wrote your Holy Book (unless you have an Urtext Edition of course.)
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That is NOT true. God wrote the Bible through the hands of His holy prophets. 2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
2 Peter 1:21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.[/I]
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bedfordshire, UK
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 03:33 PM
A news reporter goes to see a Jewish man who has been going to the western wall in Israel to pray once a day for 70 years, the reporter goes up to him and says, "hello I'm a reporter for the BBC and we know you're quite famous around this wall so we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions." The man agrees and she asks, "so we were wondering; what have you actually been praying for all of these years?"
The man replies, "I have been praying for peace between the Jews and Arabs and for all world hatred and terrorism to stop, and for my children and grandchildren to grown up in a peaceful world."
The news reporter says, "Wow that's truly beautiful, how do you feel after doing this for 70 years?"
The man replies, "I feel like I've been talking to a piffleing brick wall."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan314
May I ask where all of the anti-semitism stems from? Yes, I understand it was the Jewish people who sent Jesus to his death, but are all Jews really bad people??? I know of multiple Jewish people who are very nice, and it seems to me that this is a large hasty generalization against the Jews. And also, I don't worship satan, or promote prostitution as many of you have thrown upon others trying to ask these same questions.
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Dear kike-lover;
Joos killed Jesus, and that's enough to get them hated by God. "Being nice" has nothing to do with it. Unless they become perfected (convert to True Christianity™), they are bound to spend eternity in hell cooking porkfat burgers for the mudslimes.
YIC,
--Pastor Ezekiel
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 06:16 PM
More Oddbod thread-derailing bloviation moved here.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 31
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bedfordshire, UK
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 10:24 PM
I have another joke for all of you.
A Jewish man has opened a convenience store in our town. I walked in and said, "There's a sign in your window that says, 'Bottles of wine - Buy One Get One'. I think you're missing a 'free' at the end."
He said, "No I'm not."
Last edited by slixor; 06-04-2011 at 10:25 PM.
Reason: mis-type
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Forum Member
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Posts: 35
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Norway
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-04-2011, 11:57 PM
Q: How many jews can you get into a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front, and eighteen in the ashtray.
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10
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Forum Member
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Posts: 31
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Location: Bedfordshire, UK
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
06-05-2011, 12:12 AM
What did the Jews like best about Auschwitz?
The free haircuts.
(Sorry if I'm being too active in this thread, but I find these hilarious!)
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