Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 05:32 AM
Yes, I used to be a hard drinking fornicating sinner on the I-64 expressway to Hell! But I have been born again!
Praise Jesus!
I cannot express in mere words how much my conversion has meant to me. But, my expreince during the dark times may be of use to you as a warning. God does everything for a reason. Ask me what you want and shameful as it may be I'll try to answer.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
compassion personified
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
Ask me what you want and shameful as it may be I'll try to answer.
|
There's a terrible rumour that you, during one of your alcoholic black-outs, wandered into a lezbean biker bar ... what goes on in those dreadful places? Is it true that they don't even allow balls on the pool tables? Did you really wake up with a half-burnt bra on your head and a pool cue up your bottom?
I only ask so that you can put the rumours to rest, Brother.
|
|
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 07:57 AM
Have you ever committed incest?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 08:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Have you ever committed incest?
|
With a cousin. it was my first time. I was 12 and she was 9, but it was in Tennessee so it was fairly normal.
Mrs. rogers, I'll answer you later when I have more time.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 08:20 AM
Have you ever hidden in trees with binoculars outside women's bedrooms hoping to catch a glimpse of flesh?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 08:53 AM
I once hid cameras in a girl's locker room. Satan's grasp is strong and only Jesus can save you. Alcohol is satan's bait.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 12:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Have you ever hidden in trees with binoculars outside women's bedrooms hoping to catch a glimpse of flesh?
|
I had heard you were "hard-up" for Male company Ms Hellfire, having a Gay Husband an-all but Brother Mayfield is an EX-PERVERT, he no longer has these urges.
Brother, maybe you can possibly remember some of the places you used to "hang out" so we can be rid of Mrs Hellflingers questions?
She can then go and play with real perverts to her hearts content.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 09:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
There's a terrible rumour that you, during one of your alcoholic black-outs, wandered into a lezbean biker bar ... what goes on in those dreadful places? Is it true that they don't even allow balls on the pool tables? Did you really wake up with a half-burnt bra on your head and a pool cue up your bottom?
I only ask so that you can put the rumours to rest, Brother.
|
What little I remember was after donig some Tequila slammers with another guy, we decided "those babes just need some real men to make them forget about carpet cleaning!"
Things get a little fuzzy after that. Pink Harleys are an abdomination before God!
I seem to remember balls on the table, but the ends of the cue sticks are sorry to offend "phallus" shaped.
Me and Jeffers went in there and hollered, "hey, babes, we is here to show you what men are all about. Bend over and let us drive!"
About that time I got whopped in the head by something and that's the last I remember until waking up in jail the next morning. Sheriff Swafford felt sorry for us and let us go. We had to pay for the damages at the bar, it seems we put up a bit of a fight, but for some strange reason all my body hair was gone.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 12:13 PM
I do want to make something very clear here. I am ashamed of the way i lived before I found Christ. I am only willing to undergo the humiliation of reliving these experiences in order to warn you what is out there if you let your guard down for a second and satan getss a grip on you!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-10-2006, 07:11 PM
Elliot,
Is it true that perverts hang around at rest stop men’s rooms, like the ones on I-80, looking for TRUE Christians™ to force into depraved and disgusting sweaty man on man sex? If so do you have a list of these rest stop bathrooms were this happens so we can avoid them and not catch AIDs and the gay virus.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 15
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Salem, VA
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-16-2006, 06:05 PM
Mr. Mayfield, sir, I am sure you're as disgusting as you say, probably more so, since your surname rhymes with Gay, but I must ask you. Before meeting Jesus, how often did you find yourself entrapped, a rube caught with his pants down, at the short end of a joke played by some boy and some of his friends? I think that sort of thing happens a lot, if we were only vigilent enough to catch it.
Last edited by Pastor Ray from Salem VA; 10-16-2006 at 06:42 PM.
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Ask an ex pervert -
10-17-2006, 05:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ray from Salem VA
Mr. Mayfield, sir, I am sure you're as disgusting as you say, probably more so, since your surname rhymes with Gay, but I must ask you. Before meeting Jesus, how often did you find yourself entrapped, a rube caught with his pants down, at the short end of a joke played by some boy and some of his friends? I think that sort of thing happens a lot, if we were only vigilent enough to catch it.
|
No, I WAS that way before I found Jesus. Watch your tenses. I never pulled my pants down around other males. Why are you thinking along these lines? You better be careful or you'll catch "Foley" disease and end up a gay demoncrat!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
|
|
Dear Lord! I had no idea this thread even existed... -
10-17-2006, 02:24 AM
and I feel compelled to ask folks to please refrain from asking our Pastor Mayfield to explain certain terms such as:
Gibbing
New Jersey Turnpike
Tossed Salad
Wounded Pigeon
Band of Brothers
and especially, Flaming Nora
And please, folks, don't google these terms as your soul will surely be damaged beyond repair!
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: Dear Lord! I had no idea this thread even existed... -
10-17-2006, 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
and I feel compelled to ask folks to please refrain from asking our Pastor Mayfield to explain certain terms such as:
Gibbing
New Jersey Turnpike
Tossed Salad
Wounded Pigeon
Band of Brothers
and especially, Flaming Nora
And please, folks, don't google these terms as your soul will surely be damaged beyond repair!
|
Mrs Christianson! I don't even want to know where you heard such language, but I have forwarded this post to Elmer and I hope he takes appropriate action!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Hybrid Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|