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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 02-26-2011, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
And it doesn't help that it has one of the Village People on the front.

Brother Hatchet, I need a ruling on one of the cereals I found in the pantry after reading your well-researched and informative OP. It's Kashi Heart to Heart Oak Flakes and Blueberry Clusters.

There are several red flags here:

- flakes? Like Peruvian?

- the addition of blueberry appears to violate Commandment 7, but it's real fruit and not "fruity" flavored. I'd rather err on the side of Christ.

- the "clusters" look suspiciously like animal droppings ("scheisse film" material?)

- Heart to Heart? Like BLEEDING heart?

Yours in Christ,

Zechariah Smyth
"Kashi" sounded like a Chink name to me, so I did some research. Kashi is actually an American company owned by Kellogg's. I'm still not convinced that those "clusters" are not made out of cat.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 02-26-2011, 11:12 PM

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Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
Which Commandment does Freakies fall under Brother Hatchet?
3. Thou shalt leave on the shelf any cereal that evokes cooters or tallywackers.



Note the blue one, Sister.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-03-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Brother Hatchet, I need a ruling on one of the cereals I found in the pantry after reading your well-researched and informative OP. It's Kashi Heart to Heart Oak Flakes and Blueberry Clusters.

There are several red flags here:

- flakes? Like Peruvian?

- the addition of blueberry appears to violate Commandment 7, but it's real fruit and not "fruity" flavored. I'd rather err on the side of Christ.

- the "clusters" look suspiciously like animal droppings ("scheisse film" material?)

- Heart to Heart? Like BLEEDING heart?
Brother Zechariah, Kashi cereals do worse than all that. Much worse.

Take a look at another Kashi brand, "Good Friends" cereal:



It's not just promoting the Gay Agenda, with those two obvious lesbians.

It's not just promoting the Miscegenation Agenda, with a negress and a white woman pretending to be "friends".

No. Worse.
It is promoting the HIPPIE AGENDA!


It's "High fiber". It's "organic". It's -- and I cringe just typing this -- "good for the planet."

You might as well be eating Rainforest Crunch, or Toyota-Prius-shaped dolphin-safe Tofu Flakes. Eating this cereal could make you vote Democrat!!
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-03-2011, 08:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tracer View Post
...
It's "High fiber". It's "organic". It's -- and I cringe just typing this -- "good for the planet."
...
"High Fiber" is certainly the new code word for rug munching (and notice how they work in a subtle onomatopoeia with the word "crunch" and the lezbean slang code word "Raisin" ). Disgusting!


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-04-2011, 02:31 AM

Now here is a real godly breakfast:

1 Kings 17

17:6 And the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook.

A cereal box with a raven mascot containing delicious meat and some unleavened bread would be perfect...

This could also work for supper...


Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-05-2011, 05:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tracer View Post
Brother Zechariah, Kashi cereals do worse than all that. Much worse.

Take a look at another Kashi brand, "Good Friends" cereal:



It's not just promoting the Gay Agenda, with those two obvious lesbians.

It's not just promoting the Miscegenation Agenda, with a negress and a white woman pretending to be "friends".

No. Worse.
It is promoting the HIPPIE AGENDA!


It's "High fiber". It's "organic". It's -- and I cringe just typing this -- "good for the planet."

You might as well be eating Rainforest Crunch, or Toyota-Prius-shaped dolphin-safe Tofu Flakes. Eating this cereal could make you vote Democrat!!
Thank you for the heads up, Brother Tracer: nice catch. You simply never know where deviltry will pop up.



YiC,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-05-2011, 07:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
3. Thou shalt leave on the shelf any cereal that evokes cooters or tallywackers.



Note the blue one, Sister.
Brother, did you overlook the orange one?!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-06-2011, 05:51 AM

And please don't forget to be careful about the milk you bring into your house. The French kind will turn you queer.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-06-2011, 12:16 PM

Bacon and eggs are the only thing that a True Christian should eat for breakfast, well that and steak and eggs.

Ex:29:22: Also thou shalt take of the ram the fat and the rump, and the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and the right shoulder; for it is a ram of consecration:
Ex:29:23: And one loaf of bread, and one cake of oiled bread, and one wafer out of the basket of the unleavened bread that is before the LORD:

Leviticus 2:5
And if thy oblation be a meat offering baken in a pan, it shall be of fine flour unleavened, mingled with oil.

Leviticus 2:7
And if thy oblation be a meat offering baken in the fryingpan, it shall be made of fine flour with oil.


Leviticus 2:13
And every oblation of thy meat offering shalt thou season with salt; neither shalt thou suffer the salt of the covenant of thy God to be lacking from thy meat offering: with all thine offerings thou shalt offer salt.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-06-2011, 01:18 PM

True Christians see through the demented minds of Satan's minions in the cereal world.

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I assume nigra children were the target of the second one, but even their stomachs balked at that one.





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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-07-2011, 03:10 PM

Speaking of cereals with negros on the box, I have always had a concern about this one, which shows a colored guy (with a white girlfriend no less!!) about to smash a white guy. I would not allow this in a Christian home.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-07-2011, 04:37 PM


And then they even turn Good Old Fashioned Country Music SINFUL by writing a song about it:

"Donkey Kong with a Donkey Dong" or something like that.

Vile
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-07-2011, 05:01 PM

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Originally Posted by ExGay Alex View Post
Speaking of cereals with negros on the box, I have always had a concern about this one, which shows a colored guy (with a white girlfriend no less!!) about to smash a white guy. I would not allow this in a Christian home.
Worse than that Brother. Please note the warning signs - the picture has a Mario Brother on it. That means gay sex.

Take Mario there, all bent over, and reverse him to his butt is facing the ape and move him next to the ape. Now note the ape is trusting forward with his hips. This cereal box is nothing more a masked deception of a live gay sex act called "Plumber and the Ape" I hand the unpleasant experience of seeing in Chicago three years ago!

America's children shouldn't be exposes to gay sex scenes.



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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-07-2011, 07:35 PM

Encourages anal fisting by getting children to stick their hand into the bottom of the box to reach for the prize.



Encourages harlotry and slutty behavior.



Drug use, lust, miscegenation, jazz music, scat play.



Marihuana use, idolatry and atheism.

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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 03-10-2011, 09:09 AM

I have vanquished another foe--Cap'n Crunch. Read about it here.

Quote:
Cap'n Crunch was once the No. 1 breakfast cereal, but pressure from the White House and health activists is having an effect on how PepsiCo and other food companies peddle their products to kids.
"The White House and health activists?" I am outraged that the liberal media has twisted the truth again.

Nonetheless I am pleased that Cap'n Crunch will no longer seduce boys with his gallant uniform, well-groomed mustache, and gay, little crunch berries.



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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 11-12-2015, 06:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Children who dress in black, wear pasty make-up, and cut themselves have those characteristics before they eat Count Chocula. They identify with the brand--that's why they eat it. The cereal itself doesn't cause children to become goths. Let's be realistic here.

Count Chocula does cause children to wear capes and suck on things. It basically turns them into Liberace.



I suppose that fits under the Sixth Commandment.
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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
You can thank me that it was removed from grocery shelves. General Mills capitulated after I wrote countless angry letters and organized a colossal boycott of their products. I also got them to discontinue Twinkles, which was despicably and blatantly gay.



As if regular "Twinkles" wasn't gay enough, General Mills had the gall to offer a "tutti-fruiti" variety.


Buthe my friend, I know theveryone cereals don't make a young boy gay for Ive had personal experience with it. As a young boy I lovedon't fruity cereal so much I bathed in a mixture of the cereals to show my love of its fruit flavored goodness and yet here I am as straight as can be. To make sure of my hetrosexuality I even orally stimulate a man periodically to make sure I don't enjoy it.
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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 11-12-2015, 09:14 PM

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Originally Posted by SmokeMethHailSataan View Post
Buthe my friend, I know theveryone cereals don't make a young boy gay for Ive had personal experience with it. As a young boy I lovedon't fruity cereal so much I bathed in a mixture of the cereals to show my love of its fruit flavored goodness and yet here I am as straight as can be. To make sure of my hetrosexuality I even orally stimulate a man periodically to make sure I don't enjoy it.
And you are some kind of idiot, or what?


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Default Re: The Ten Commandments of Cereal Shopping - 11-13-2015, 01:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeMethHailSataan View Post
Buthe my friend, I know theveryone cereals don't make a young boy gay for Ive had personal experience with it. As a young boy I lovedon't fruity cereal so much I bathed in a mixture of the cereals to show my love of its fruit flavored goodness and yet here I am as straight as can be. To make sure of my hetrosexuality I even orally stimulate a man periodically to make sure I don't enjoy it.
Um. Get off your drugs. What you need is a Bible. Sins such as homosexuality are a slippery slope and that's one of Satan's favorite sins and ways of dragging people down to Hell. Stop performing the vile act, and get rid of the fruity, rainbow colored garbage. You are sliding very quickly down to the fiery pits of hell!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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