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HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday.

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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 11:36 AM

I'll just correct the two people above me for now. Old man hatchet a human can't impregnate a pumpkin...btw thanks for that picture that was a great laugh.

To the guy who said humans can only impregnate other humans, this is false while we can't do anything with plants a human could impregnate another animal the offspring would more than likely die, but it is still able to.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 03:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousboob94 View Post
a human could impregnate another animal the offspring would more than likely die, but it is still able to.
Do you have a Bible verse that explains this? I know an angel can impregnate a human (Genesis 6:4), but human-to-animal is new to me.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 04:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Do you have a Bible verse that explains this? I know an angel can impregnate a human (Genesis 6:4), but human-to-animal is new to me.
It shouldn't be new to you because I said it just a few posts ago, and if I said it, it's as good as a Bible verse. As a matter of fact, my quotes should be referenced like Bible verses.

Allow me to quote from Pumpkin @!%#ing 2:40 (that should be read as page 2, post 40).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Right. Then how do you explain goat-human hybrids?

Isaiah 13:21 "But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there."

Satyrs are lustful, despicable monsters who, much like Negroes, are good at only two things--dancing and raping. And God did not create them. The Greeks did. FACT: The Greeks fornicated with goats, thereby creating satyrs. Here is photographic evidence of a satyr:



I believe you just got what the youngsters call "pwned."
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 05:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousboob94 View Post
...a human could impregnate another animal...
Example of this ever happening?

(Btw: "News of the World", "National Enquirer", Mexican newspapers, and Old Man Hatchet are not reputable sources.)

Making claims based on no evidence will just get you mocked, here.


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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Example of this ever happening?

(Btw: "News of the World", "National Enquirer", Mexican newspapers, and Old Man Hatchet are not reputable sources.)

Making claims based on no evidence will just get you mocked, here.
I am outraged by your insolence! My word is beyond golden--it's platinum and diamond-encrusted. Enjoy your infraction.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 06:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousboob94 View Post
To the guy who said humans can only impregnate other humans, this is false while we can't do anything with plants a human could impregnate another animal the offspring would more than likely die, but it is still able to.
Could you provide an example, other than the goat-human hybrid my Brother in Christ OMH has provided?


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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
(Btw: "News of the World", "National Enquirer", Mexican newspapers, and Old Man Hatchet are not reputable sources.)
Will you stop getting OMH angry please? We all pay when he's pissed. Your next post will be infracted by me just to get the message across.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 06:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
Will you stop getting OMH angry please? We all pay when he's pissed. Your next post will be infracted by me just to get the message across.
Yes, please Mr. Much! I've been dutifully... reprimanded, for my idiocy in my comment. Mr. Etheldreda and Mr. Hatchet have devised an ongoing Correction Plan for my benefit, and I dearly desire for no one else to get... er, disciplined, on my account. Please, I do implore you to stop angering the dear and wise Old Man Hatchet. I take full responsibility for the righteous anger he's been burdened with due to my pitiful and public display of stupidity. I would simply like to move on now, having learned my lesson (an ongoing lesson applied by Mr. Etheldreda with the wise counsel of Mr. Hatchet).



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 06:56 PM

Thank you for notifying me about this new trend, brother! I shall show this to my neighbors so that they can make sure to get rid of their pumpkins. I want to make sure these "humpkins" don't end up killing my neighbors - that would be horrible!!
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Yes, please Mr. Much! I've been dutifully... reprimanded, for my idiocy in my comment. Mr. Etheldreda and Mr. Hatchet have devised an ongoing Correction Plan for my benefit
My dear Sister in Christ, I am glad your loving husband is willing to ensure your Christian submission in order to protect your eternal soul.

I've let him know that I would be happy to assist him in the execution of the Correction Plan when I am in town for the Witch Hunt, should my services be needed. It would be my pleasure to help!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 09:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
My dear Sister in Christ, I am glad your loving husband is willing to ensure your Christian submission in order to protect your eternal soul.

I've let him know that I would be happy to assist him in the execution of the Correction Plan when I am in town for the Witch Hunt, should my services be needed. It would be my pleasure to help!
With all due appropriateness, I am grateful for your attention to this detail of my [questionable] soul. I pray those unsaved trash who are reading this can see the charitable contributions the Saved have on the negligible members of society.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-15-2012, 09:40 PM

I would like to add that if--IF--the polar ice caps are indeed melting, then surely it's from the heat being generated by pumpkin @!%#ing and Bill Clinton's extramarital affairs.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-16-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:
I'm more concerned about a very real threat: half-human, half-pumpkin monsters. Depositing semen in a pumpkin could result in a nightmarish hybrid race.
Ermmm what?? You do know it is impossible to impregnate another species. Man can't impregnate apes and they certainly can't impregnate pumpkins which are vegetables. It would be like a dog humping a rock and then the rock giving birth it is just impossible. But I would admit if such a thing would happen (which it never will) it would be very grotesque and an abomination.

And as for that Satyr or whatever that photo is of I can't believe that a good Christian like yourself would be taken in so easily. It is obviously a fake the man has been dressed up as a Satyr. If you believe that that is a real Satyr then you would have to believe every movie monster exists because they look real. This is my second year in AP Biology and it is a FACT that humans can't impregnate goats. The goat's eggs and the human's semen are incompatible. The only way it would ever happen is if you manipulated the semen and eggs to be compatible and we simply don't have the knowledge to do that.


Matt 13:41-42 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-16-2012, 04:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wuffles View Post
Ermmm what?? You do know it is impossible to impregnate another species. Man can't impregnate apes and they certainly can't impregnate pumpkins which are vegetables. It would be like a dog humping a rock and then the rock giving birth it is just impossible. But I would admit if such a thing would happen (which it never will) it would be very grotesque and an abomination.

And as for that Satyr or whatever that photo is of I can't believe that a good Christian like yourself would be taken in so easily. It is obviously a fake the man has been dressed up as a Satyr. If you believe that that is a real Satyr then you would have to believe every movie monster exists because they look real.
This is my second year in AP Biology and it is a FACT that humans can't impregnate goats. The goat's eggs and the human's semen are incompatible. The only way it would ever happen is if you manipulated the semen and eggs to be compatible and we simply don't have the knowledge to do that.
Oh. My. God.



Just when I think I've seen the rock-bottom depths of depravity that Jesus-haters can descend to, a new low is reached.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-16-2012, 04:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wuffles View Post
The goat's eggs ...
In this context we normally call it an ovum. Using the word egg might give the reader the impression that you’re talking about a bird or some reptile. You don’t think that a goat is a kind of bird, do you? After all, it’s only your second year studying Biology? (Protip, it’s not)


Stop whining
(1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
(1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
(Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
(Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-17-2012, 03:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John North View Post
In this context we normally call it an ovum. Using the word egg might give the reader the impression that you’re talking about a bird or some reptile. You don’t think that a goat is a kind of bird, do you? After all, it’s only your second year studying Biology? (Protip, it’s not)
Actually it is, and I was assuming (mistakenly) that people would understand. Mammals do produce eggs but not the conventional avian or reptilian eggs. They are much smaller and do not have the rigid "shell" that bird eggs have (the obvious exception is the platypus). But surely you can agree that humans can't impregnate goats. In the twentieth century China tried to create a slave species by Impregnating chimps with human semen and human females with chimp semen. Unsurprisingly it did not work so how if humans and chimps can't breed can humans and goats breed?


Matt 13:41-42 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-17-2012, 03:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Oh. My. God.



Just when I think I've seen the rock-bottom depths of depravity that Jesus-haters can descend to, a new low is reached.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
How is it hating? and what is so objectionable? Are you objecting to me refusing to accept the insane claims of half pumpkin half man people? If you believe those then you are no better than the Christians of the Middle (or also called Dark) ages where they believed in spontaneous generation.


Matt 13:41-42 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-17-2012, 03:20 AM

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...Enjoy your infraction.
I print them out and stick them on my walls. Got the bathroom covered, now working on the hallway. Thanks!


RIP RBG
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-17-2012, 04:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John North View Post
You don’t think that a goat is a kind of bird, do you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wuffles View Post
Actually it is
I’m so glad I skipped higher (conventional) education in favor of Bible studies.


Stop whining
(1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
(1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
(Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
(Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers
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Default Re: Pumpkin @!%#ing - 10-17-2012, 06:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wuffles View Post
This is my second year in AP Biology and it is a FACT that humans can't impregnate goats.
And given the secular school system's reliance upon "experimentation" and "empirical evidence", I can only assume you know from experience.



Did your Mommy have to sign her permission for a field trip to the farm? Or did they just bring some poor goat into your school?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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