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Default Mandroids - 03-02-2012, 12:25 PM

Gentlemen, electronic massagers are extremely popular today with the fairer sex. They are commonly used on the neck, shoulders, and back. The neck, shoulders, and back. Women shouldn't even let their husbands touch them to that extent. If your wife is using one of these gizmos, she is essentially doing it with a robot.



A woman holds the shaft of the massager while getting drilled in the shoulder.


I shouldn't have to explain that robot-on-human action is an abomination in the eyes of God Almighty. That's a given. What is truly troubling me? These vibrating electronic machines are probably cross-breeding with our wives. If you don't think it's possible for two completely different things to combine to form a single, hideous entity, then explain tofurkey.



If you think explaining tofurkey is hard, trying eating it.


These tiny, clever, and diabolical machines that we know as massagers want to create a terrifying hybrid race that will possess the best of both worlds: the indefatigability of robots and the human ability to love.



One possibility of what the terrifying hybrid race might look like.


Robots have always been jealous of our ability to love. I have seen countless sci-fi movies in which a robot quizzically tilts its head and queries, "What is this human emotion called love?" This new race, a combination of the respective strengths of robots and humans, will be viewed as ideal mates by women, thus making men obsolete. They will surely kill/enslave all of us.



They will be irresistible to women: they'll be able to tirelessly copulate and convincingly snuggle afterwards.


For now, I'm calling these things "mandroids." I also kind of like "beaubots" and "guyborgs." I suggest we hold a fun contest to name these insatiable, blood-thirsty, half-robot, half-human freaks of nature.

Women should naturally want to live dull and dutiful lives in submission to their Christian husbands rather than engage in amazing sex night after night climaxing over and over with caring lovers who have boundless energy, but they can't be relied on to make the obvious choice. Get rid of your wife's massager before it's too late. The future of mankind depends on it.
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Default Re: Mandroids - 03-02-2012, 01:54 PM

Thanks for the warning Old Man Hatchet. I bought one of these face massagers for my wife recently. The advert says it is designed for around the eyes and brows. I wasn't aware of the dangers.

I have noticed that she has looked a lot happier and more youthful recently, the massager seemed to be working.

I'm sure she has not thought of any erotic purposes for it as she is not that kind of woman but I will take it off of her just in case, (and the one I gave my grandmother).

YIC

Jack
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Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



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Default Re: Mandroids - 03-02-2012, 02:34 PM

I had my suspicions about those devices, and I'm glad to see some solid science behind my fears. Thank you, Brother Hatchet.

A few months ago my wife asked for a "personal massager" and I did some poking around on the internets, and apparently all they do is vibrate. Why on earth does a woman need a machine that vibrates? It doesn't even make sense.

Now I'm a reasonable man, so I eventually found a way to satisfy her need for something that vibrates while also allowing her to get things done around the house. I got several orbital sanders and tie-wrapped them to items that she uses for her day-to-day chores. Here is one example:

Name:  vibrating_frying_pan.JPG
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I've also done this to a mop, a washboard, and a rug beater.

But here's the good news! There is a large area of our property that needs to be filled and levelled and I'm thinking I just might get her one of these for Christmas:

Name:  dirt_compactor.jpg
Views: 200
Size:  17.7 KB

I think she'll love it!



Yours in Christ,

Zech


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Default Re: Mandroids - 03-02-2012, 04:44 PM

I am going to guess that your wife is fond of horseback riding.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Mandroids - 03-02-2012, 04:51 PM

"research worker" attempting to seduce robot



8 minute video



Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
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Default Re: Mandroids - 03-24-2012, 07:25 PM

Be warned, Robots are the products of Atheists!
The same people who try to tell you that the Earth is billions of years old and claim that we have traveled to the moon are the same ones who design 'robots'

It is just another gimmick in their unholy crusade to tear Christian Families apart!


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Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
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