HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women
Reload this Page Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible!
Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Smile Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 02:40 PM
In honor of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity (see footnote), this year the gold, silver, bronze, and first runner-up prize for the Sunday School labor-day essay contest ("How the estate tax persecutes America's hard-working heirs") will be this $270 hot pink calfskin Bible.


Don't expect to be the next First Lady of the USA without it!

(The prize for winning boys will be the usual selection of sidearms).

Footnote: Proof of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity:


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-08-2008 at 10:48 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 03:03 PM
That is gooooooorgeous Brother Jeb!

I want one! As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to order one for all the Ladies of Landover for Christmas presents.

No well dressed True Christian™ gal should be without one. I bet Betty Bower's already has one.

Thank you for posting it!

Sister Thumper



Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
  
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 08:31 PM
Oooooooh that is so beautiful! I want one those pink Bibles too!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Poison__x's Avatar
Poison__x Poison__x is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
Poison__x is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 12:20 AM
This is pathetic. You're turning your own religion into a market? You people are...
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
  
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 01:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post


This is pathetic. You're turning your own religion into a market? You people are ...
Oh really? ... and what about that homer-pink writing of yours, Poison?

... don't think Jesus will approve, noddy

1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Poison__x's Avatar
Poison__x Poison__x is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
Poison__x is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 01:15 AM
I'm not selling my pink words And I don't care what Jesus thi... oh wait, he can't think, he's been dead for 2k years!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 11:24 AM
I can't tell you how proud we are of our very own Sister Virginia Templeton and her husband, Mr. Gary Templeton, for donating the Bibles at cost plus 3% for the prizes.
Their store, Biblepalooza, has become my husband, Mr. Whitford, and my favorite Bible store in Freehold! The friendly staff is always there to greet you with a smile and some good, solid witnessing, and their prices can't be beat!

Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Dale Dale is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 7
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: California
Dale is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-03-2007, 06:03 PM
PROOF that Parris has become a TRUE Christian.
Everyone knows that only God fearing True Christian believers like NASCAR.
http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/...ghts-on-denny/

Dale, on the left coast for all the RIGHT reasons......
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Poison__x's Avatar
Poison__x Poison__x is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
Poison__x is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 05:40 AM
Everyone else also knows that without a doubt, NASCAR is THE MOST BORING "sport" ever.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Everyone else also knows that without a doubt, NASCAR is THE MOST BORING "sport" ever.
True Christians™ don't marry for excitment. We choose our mates based on useful skills: like fast driving, excellent tailgating skills, and intelligence, proven by how NASCAR drivers only mention God and praying when they win, and not when they lose.

What's your idea of a good sport, count drag-ula?

Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 09-04-2007 at 06:47 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 09:24 PM
At night when I close my eyes, I see woman of my dreams, with a pink designer handbag, her pink accessory Bible, and her matching tazer. She will teach the Bible to our many children, and if they daydream or sass talk, her tazer-draw will be the fastest in the west.




So how about that? A special pink bible, pink tazer 2-for-one deal? Make my dreams come true...

Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal: $500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Poison__x's Avatar
Poison__x Poison__x is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
Poison__x is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
True Christians™ don't marry for excitment. We choose our mates based on useful skills: like fast driving, excellent tailgating skills, and intelligence, proven by how NASCAR drivers only mention God and praying when they win, and not when they lose.

What's your idea of a good sport, count drag-ula?
Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Christiana Christiana is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 22
Join Date: Jun 2007
Christiana is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-05-2007, 05:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
In honor of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity (see Video proof of her True Christian? status HERE!) this year the gold, silver, bronze, and first runner-up prize for the Sunday School labor-day essay contest ("How the estate tax persecutes America's hard-working heirs") will be this $270 hot pink calfskin Bible.


Don't expect to be the next First Lady of the USA without it!

(The prize for winning boys will be the usual selection of sidearms).
Thank you Brother Jeb. I love the color pink. It is so female. When I see that color I just thank God that He created me a woman.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
bible study, free markets = freedom, god's chosen elect, hens go cluck cluck cluck, paris hilton, you tube

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Hybrid Mode Hybrid Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top