[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Before I moved to Freehold, Iowa, I lived and preached in Southern California. This was in the 1970s and 1980s. And during this time living in this hell hole I became acquainted with a certain hellbound species known as the "Valley Girl". Vain, idiotic, shallow women who care nothing about Jesus or their own salvation, but instead obsessed on finding the best deals at the Galleria and talking to their slut friends on the phone.

THESE GIRLS WILL BURN IN HELL BECAUSE THEY ANGER JESUS!!!!

Look at this filthy documentary.

Valley Girls are obsessed with their own appearance, by wearing the "hottest" clothes, and painting their toenails, and getting "bitchin" hairstyles, but the Bible warns us that such sluts will burn in Hell!!!

1 Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

Valley Girls are also, by nature, complete leg-spreading slut whores. Which contradicts the teachings of Paul in Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20
15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

This latest "Valley Girl" trend needs to stop. I know that women like Lady Gaga are directly influenced by them. We need to stop this Valley Girl destruction. Let us pray that Christ will overcome these materialistic harlots, because like, you know, it would be soooooo uncool if they like, you know, took over the planet?!?!?!?! Totally barf me out, gag me with a spoon!!!!

[HTannor]

Gratefully, the valley girl phenomenon has not taken root here in the trailer park.

I like to think this is due, in no small part, to me. And no small thanks to Rev. Jim for contacting me a couple of years ago to ask me to keep a watch out for these little sluts.

I took his warning to heart and spend a great deal of my time both before and after work patrolling the park.

I watch from inside my trailer by peeking through the blinds on my windows. I walk the streets and peek over fences at sunbathing teenagers to check for "valley-style" bikinis or the "latest" underwear. In the evenings, I dress in black and wander through the park, peeking in windows and crawling under decks.

There are no valley girls in my trailer park and I intend to keep it that way.