MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 01:17 AM
Dear Fellow Christians,
I come with a message to you Landover Ladies expecially.
13 years ago, my loving wife, Heather had died from a rare colonary inflamination. Here's a pic of here in her younger youthful days reclining in the backyard. Such Christian beauty.
I now have come to terms to seek a new Landover Baptist Christian Lady who must be so clean of sin as to be JESUS-WORTHY!
If anybody lovely lady wishes to step forward, please do so.
Don't hesitate to ask questions as well. I do have list of requirements that should be no surprise if you read the Bible.
In Loving Praise,
Reverend C.T. Green
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 02:25 AM
GLORY Brother!
You are such a handsome,fine, GODLY man. I am already bethrothed to Pastor Zeke, but would be thrilled to help you with your search for a new True Christain™ wife.
Why don't you stop by my place this Wednedsay (you know the large yellow and white mansion on the corner of Rapture Cir. and Morning Wood Lane in the Apostle's Grove Subdivision http://www.landoverbaptist.org/REALESTATE/index2.html) on Wednesday after the LOL (Ladies of Landover)) Bible study. Sister Sue, Sister Tali AND Sister M&M will be sure to attend. We just LOVE our Wednesday night LOL Bible study as the pastors usually stop by afterwards and bring us a nice big helping of Dicken's Cider. Sometimes we get seconds! GLORY!
Anyway.... as everyone knows, I am Freeholds most successful match maker and would be delighted to help you in the GODLY endevour. Let me know how I can help you.
Tell me Brother. Are you looking to make more soldiders for CHRIST, or do you mostly just want a GODLY companion?
I will also invite Mildred McGillicudy. She has been looking for a True Christian™ husband for many years. I'm not sure why marriage always eludes her. She makes a find dung bread (but no where near as good as Sister Sue's) and knows her place.
Helpful, Sister Thumper
Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 02-27-2007 at 02:36 AM.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 03:23 AM
That sounds splendid. It means of course that I would have to cut my missionary trip in Mexico short, but those greasy wetbacks tried to eat the HOLY BIBLE, so I'm sure there's no point in me trying to stop a certainty of brimstone doom for them.
I will catch the next flight to the Godly U. S. of A. so that I will attend the Wednesday get-together and join up for some good ol' Bible study.
Mexico smells like upchucked tacos that are infected with gonorrhea, in which I'm more than glad that God has shown a sign for a reason to leave.
PRAISE!
See you then!
-Rev. Green
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Unsaved Trash
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Posts: 150
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 08:27 AM
From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 09:00 AM
As far as I know I thought there was to be no divorcing, but that might well be Catholicism.
Didn't Abraham marry more than once too?
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 09:03 AM
If only I could edit my own posts, what a capital mistake! Abraham was only married to Sara, not to Hagar. Shame on me.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 09:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shert
From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??
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If your wife dies, you can take another, but only after a few requirements are met.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollyon
If only I could edit my own posts, what a capital mistake! Abraham was only married to Sara, not to Hagar. Shame on me.
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You can edit your posts, but only for up to 10 minutes.
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shert
From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??
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True Christian men may marry as many women as local laws permit. However, they may not divorce their wives, except in cases of adultery.
True Christian women may marry one man. If he dies, then they may remarry. However, there is no reason a woman may divorce her husband and remarry.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 08:22 PM
Brother Green, as you may know, I've had my eye on you for quite some time now - Just Like HE Has His Eye on the Sparrow!!!
Now, you wouldn't mind a gal that likes to clown around once in a while, would you?
(And friends tell me that I sing just like Lurleen Lumpkin!)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
02-27-2007, 10:11 PM
Sister Sue Vera,
I am pleased you are interested, and I have noted your little "notes" around here too me. Such loyalty!
Do show up Wedneday at Sister Thumper's Godly American Mansion so that I will see that you are the true Christian woman for me, and that you will honor and serve like all good little Christian gals should.
-The ever so Godly, Rev. Green
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-03-2007, 04:53 AM
Well I have to say, my Wednesday two days ago at Sister Thumper's home was quite extrodinary. Pastor Ezekiel is very lucky to have a woman who can whip up a lean MEAN Tuna and Cheese Casserole like that. I was pleased to say many Ladies of Landover attended.
Last edited by Rev. Carlton Green; 03-03-2007 at 04:55 AM.
Reason: The casserole was better than I mentioned earlier. Ahhhhh...the joy of descriptive words.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-03-2007, 02:31 PM
Brother Green, I'd thought someone would have answered the door chimes immediately upon smelling the aroma from steaming loaf of dungbread that I'd baked to show off my Christian Baking skills! (Yes; it's been known to strew it's scent even past the closed shutter.)
But boo-hoo-hoo, I just stood there and stood there, Beeseeching, until the Hounds raced at me from around the corner. And though they began whining and shrieking, then retreating, I decided to go Home anyway - I was fixin' like to get me a frostbite in my tootsies.
Brother tell me: Are you still Available?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-03-2007, 04:13 PM
Well yes I am Sister Sue Vera. Would you care for a little "Bible Study" together? Say how about Saturday? Then we go to Church the next day.
Last edited by Rev. Carlton Green; 03-03-2007 at 04:15 PM.
Reason: God has put me in a happy mood today.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-03-2007, 04:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlton Green
Well yes I am Sister Sue Vera. Would you care for a little "Bible Study" together? Say how about Saturday? Then we go to Church the next day.
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Why, YES, Brother! Especially if we can 'do' Deuteronomy. It's my "Number 1 Fave, Bible Rave!"
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-03-2007, 10:43 PM
I have to thank Sister Thumper, for she has recommended something excellent for.
It seems there is nothing better for a get-together with your best gal than with a large amount of thick Dicken's Cider!
http://www.catsprn.com/sounds/wav/dickens.wav
I think Sister SUV will love it!
-Rev. C. T. Green
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-04-2007, 12:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlton Green
I think Sister SUV will love it!
-Rev. C. T. Green
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Oh my, Reverend, yes! And to find out that it's GODLY, too! I never would have guessed by the can:
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-05-2007, 01:00 AM
Well after such a lovely study last night, It seems that Sister Sue V. And I have been connected in such a way with the glory of JESUS!
I hope we are on the same feeling here. People like her are rare in a whore infested world. I'm glad to see more Christian ladies like our dear SUV.
-Rev. C. T. Green.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-24-2007, 04:51 AM
Well when Jesus says it's time, IT'S TIME!
After a couple of weeks of courtship, Sister Sue Vera and I have decided to join together using the holy bonds of our Lord and get Married TM!!!!
Why I can pratically hear the horn of Gabriel annoncing our partnership of True Christian love! And now we shall both live happily together in my Deluxe Greenbrick Mansion with a endangered species hunting range and a emerald decorated Rolls Royce in my Gold-plated driveway!
It comes to the fact that Christian ladies can simply not resist the bulk and beef of Good True Christian TM men!!!!
Like me:
Who couldn't fall in love with this well-positioned photo of me sitting in my super-duper GODLY BIBLE Study? Faggoty Homer not included.
Last edited by Rev. Carlton Green; 03-24-2007 at 04:53 AM.
Reason: word ommition.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow. -
03-24-2007, 05:41 AM
Praise Jesus and congratulations! May the Lord smile upon you two and your many, many offspring.
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