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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
True Christian™
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Posts: 803
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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God punishes the Philippines -
11-09-2013, 03:37 AM
Maybe some of you have seen the news...
God has sent the most powerful typhoon ever to finish off the Philippines, after giving them a warning last month with a devastating earthquake.
There are many good reasons why the Filipinos deserve this. First of all, they're Catholics. Secondly, some years ago they kicked out the US military and closed the bases - God will not forgive them for that! Third, my company set up a large sweatshop operation in that country, but those slant-eyed beaners went on strike to protest the 18-hour workdays and exposure to totally harmless chemicals like dioxin and arsenic. To add insult to injury, their commie guvmint refused to machine-gun the protesters when we requested it.
Well, that strike was the last straw, so we relocated our manufacturing operations to prisons in China, Vietnam and Cambodia. However, because Uranus Corporation is a patriotic caring-sharing company, we are starting to bring back jobs to America...as was widely reported in the media, our awesome privatized prisons added 204,000 jobs just last month!
Needless to say, we're already hearing pleas from bleeding heart liberals who want to spend your hard-earned tax dollars on providing relief to those lazy welfare-cheating Filipino beaners. As if it wasn't bad enough that they already get food stamps and free Obamacare, now these freeloaders want us to give them new tents just because their tin shacks got blown away by a storm!
Filipino climbing border fence to get free Obamacare
Well, boo-hoo! I say that if they want to move out their cardboard boxes and upgrade to a tent, they ought to stop whining and get a job. Nobody ever gave me a hand-out, I earned my fortune the good old-fashioned way...through insider trading and lobbying Congress for subsidies and no-bid contracts. If I can do it, why can't everyone else?
If The Lord sent a storm to the Philippines to drown all those lazy salsa-sniffing Catylick drug dealers, then who are we to interfere with His will? That's a question those liberals just don't want to answer!
Hey Gringo, send us more food stamps!
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,907
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-09-2013, 06:41 AM
I knew this was coming, because Jesus hates the way those flips mock His temporary sacrifice every year at Easter.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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PHD - Theophysicist Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,087
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In the Lamb's book of life
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 08:55 AM
The Philippines have been devastated. Over 100 are confirmed dead. Hundreds more are feared dead. In total 4 million people so far have been affected in some way by the storm. And now it's Vietnam's turn. This reminds me of Proverbs 11:31.
Behold, the righteous shall be recompensed in the earth: much more the wicked and the sinner.
God promises that the wicked will be punished here on earth. And we're seeing that now. Let me share with you Matthew Henry's take on this verse. I think he puts it quite eloquently.
Quote:
Let us behold providential retributions. There are some recompences in the earth, in this world, and in the things of this world, which prove that verily there is a God that judges in the earth (Psalm 58:11) but they are not universal many sins go unpunished in the earth, and services unrewarded, which indicates that there is a judgment to come, and that there will be more exact and full retributions in the future state. Many times the righteous are recompensed for their righteousness here in the earth, though that is not the principal, much less the only reward either intended for them or intended by them but whatever the word of God has promised them, or the wisdom of God sees good for them, they shall have in the earth. The wicked also, and the sinner, are sometimes remarkably punished in this life, nations, families, particular persons. And if the righteous, who do not deserve the least reward, yet have part of their recompence here on earth, much more shall the wicked, who deserve the greatest punishment, have part of their punishment on earth, as an earnest of worse to come. Therefore stand in awe and sin not. If those have two heavens that merit none, much more shall those have two hells that merit both.
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I just love that last line!
In short, when we see the wicked being punished, such as catholic Filipinos, it proves there is a God who dispenses judgement. But even when we see that the wicked have not been punished (Eccl 7:15), it just proves that there is a judgement to come. Either way, Jesus wins!
 | Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 871
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 01:23 PM
I am once again blown away in awe at how good and loving God is: there are like two billion gooks and chinks who all deserve punishment because their customs, beliefs and habits that are so completely opposite to what He demands of them, but Jesus only killed a few tens of thousands of them and makes another few million homeless, only a fraction receives their punishment now while all those others get yet another chance to redeem themselves by turning over their lives to The Lord.
Even after being hit with warning after warning in the form of earthquakes, storms, exploding nuclear reactors, oppression from their leaders, working in slavery-like conditions, and so on, they still refuse to seek His comforting bosom, and God only lightly slaps their wrists instead of wiping out that whole den of inequity in one big strike. Our loving Father forgives them time and time again, just like Jesus told us to forgive people 490 times.
Leviticus 26:15-16
And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 04:43 PM
Many people are unaware of the fact that the Philippines are a Mexican country that has somehow got filled up with some kind of Chinaman. I guess it's because it is over on the other side of the world near to China.
Anyway, they suffer all the degredations of any Mexican country. They are Roman idol worshippers, but there are plenty of other kinds of idol worshippers, too and Muslims to boot. There are more thieves and pirates in the Phillipines than any other known Roman country. They are the sworn enemies of God and Jesus.
Thus, they must frequently suffer His wrath, for He is always wroth with them.
God enjoys inventing new torments for the wicked and He still likes to use the old ones as well. God has sent the usual great waves, fires, floods, pestilence and volcanos among these wretches of late, but He sent a new twist on famine by diverting all their money to import food to shoes for Imelda Marcos. God had the money from those shoes fall into the hands of that Italian papist and homosexual named Armani so that he could afford to move to Miami and be stabbed by one of his homosexual boyfriends. The complications of God's works are staggering.
Lately the Lord has gone back to the old tried and true mighty storms. He smote those idol worshippers in the thousands and destroyed their wretched cities, as he did among the Yankees with Hurricane Sandy.
His will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 04:57 PM
God really hates the Philistines.
Saul knew how to handle them.
1 Samuel 14:36
"And Saul said, Let us go down after the Philistines by night, and spoil them until the morning light, and let us not leave a man of them."
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,802
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 06:12 PM
I'd like to suggest that 'Landover Ministries - Saving one Child at a Time' does a mission to flipinoland and round up all the children and provide them to a True Christian™ home where they can learn the Godly American Christian® way of life. Think how happy a child would be working in a home WITH SHOES on!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 06:22 PM
Maybe Jesus is pissed that Journey hired a beaner to sing for them.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-10-2013, 06:24 PM
Personally, I think that it's just the beginning Friends.
First of all, it's their national airlines which has seriously offended God.
Next He will strike them barren and empty their paps.
Then they should remember the words of our Lord Jesus when he said:
Luke 23:29 For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,376
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-11-2013, 04:16 PM
Do they have oil?
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,652
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-11-2013, 07:58 PM
No, they have bananas, cheap labor and loose women... oh, and lady-boys. Look upon them as the Moabites of the world.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,907
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: God punishes the Philippines -
11-12-2013, 04:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
No, they have bananas, cheap labor and loose women... oh, and lady-boys. Look upon them as the Moabites of the world.
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Ugh. Moabites make my blood boil.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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