[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

I don't feel that I'm at all deserving of such an honor as this lovely Hummel figurine.

Of course you're not, Bella baby! But I know of Hummel. I am quite happy to deliver you a Hummel cable gland to replace your own withering glands.



Please try to keep the fire out for Christmas night this year or your order for Ben Wa balls will also be out. The flames will obviously not harm me but the Missus hates the dry cleaning costs come New Year...


Ho anyways.

[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey

I absolutely agree with you, Sister. We never, ever discuss it! Not even in private, among close friends, or with our mothers or daughters. Why would any woman need to do such a thing?

I also agree about the socks. Obviously I have no need for the eyeglasses.

Joanna Sweet Lass! You must think that I forgot all about you! I didn't! I have, in fact, two wonderful items for you. Exceptionally, neither one of them is in plastic! First, some traditional English Christmas food that you all love and cherish! At least it does taste like plastic.



Second, as you love and cherish your royalty, I bring you the UK race of Queens in DVD! I know that your boys are eager followers and fans!



Please have 'em stockings ready for my visit!

[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by handmaiden

uninformed people will take that as leave to believe in Santa and the Bible. Well, you can't have both, folks... leaves lumps of coal rather than send naughty children to Hell.

Dandy-Handy! Why are you always so irritable come Christmas? To answer your musings: I never ever said that anyone would have to believe in me and in Jesus. On the contrary, I've said repeatedly that I don't require Faith, just niceties. Normal. Proper. Human. Behavior. Towards. Your. Fellow. Human. Being. Less "love", less Faith. Is that too much to ask?

This year, our top priority is to activate people to do things by themselves. Therefore, you'll have a make-coal-by-yourself starter kit, that is, a coal-miners outfit that will enable you to frequent all Welsh and German coal mines, among others. The man in the image is unfortunately not included in the package as I don't deliver people.