MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Honorary True Christian™
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Posts: 1,335
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Doing God's Work in Europistan
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-21-2008, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
The only injury I've sustained recently was breaking a nail while weeding my vegetable garden.
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More like breaking a nail while ceremonially slaughtering a baby, witch.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-21-2008, 07:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
And you got your degree in medicine from where?
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The Bible. Same place as we get all our knowledge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
I actually don't like anyone touching me, ever.
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Just out of interest, what are your thoughts on touching yourself?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
The only injury I've sustained recently was breaking a nail while weeding my vegetable garden.
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Thus proving that God hates druggies. Besides, isn't it cannibalism for you to eat vegetables?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-22-2008, 01:14 AM
This is how it works in Lumpy's neck of the woods.
He met Marmelade down in old New Orleans,
Struttin' her stuff on the street
She said, 'ey 'ello,hey Joe,
You wanna give it a go? mm, mm?
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-22-2008, 02:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Percy
More like breaking a nail while ceremonially slaughtering a baby, witch.
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I don't kill people.
When I say weeding a vegetable garden, I mean pulling weeds out of the ground around tomatoes, corn, mustard, okra, and squash plants.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-22-2008, 02:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
The Bible. Same place as we get all our knowledge.
You really should expnad your knowledge base.
Thus proving that God hates druggies. Besides, isn't it cannibalism for you to eat vegetables?
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Okra, squash, corn, and tomtoes are drugs? That's news to me.
Cannibalism is eating your own species. Since I am not a tomato, an ear of corn, an okra pod, or a squash, it is not cannibalism for me to eat vegetables.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-22-2008, 03:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta
This is how it works in Lumpy's neck of the woods.
He met Marmelade down in old New Orleans,
Struttin' her stuff on the street
She said, 'ey 'ello,hey Joe,
You wanna give it a go? mm, mm?
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I don't live in New Orleans, and I'm not a hooker, so you're 0 for 2. I do like Patti LaBelle, though.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-22-2008, 06:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
When I say weeding a vegetable garden,
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I know what you really mean -- you cannot fool a Christian!
How many helpless, gentle souls have you imprisoned inside your house? How often do you perform the "weeding" of the vegetables, sacrificing them to your Dark Master? They have a Right to Life, you awful woman!
Quote:
I mean pulling weeds out of the ground around tomatoes, corn, mustard, okra, and squash plants.
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With the LORD's help I have unlocked the secret message within your post, intended for your fellow Satanists: it is terrible that you refer to your helpless prisoners as "corn", "okra" etc, making sport of their feeble, cabbage-brained state. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
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Location: Right here, right now
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-23-2008, 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
I know what you really mean -- you cannot fool a Christian!
How many helpless, gentle souls have you imprisoned inside your house? How often do you perform the "weeding" of the vegetables, sacrificing them to your Dark Master? They have a Right to Life, you awful woman!
With the LORD's help I have unlocked the secret message within your post, intended for your fellow Satanists: it is terrible that you refer to your helpless prisoners as "corn", "okra" etc, making sport of their feeble, cabbage-brained state. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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No dear, these are the kinds of vegetables I mean:
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
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Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-24-2008, 03:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
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Your husband is one hell of a limp wristed wimp. What did he do to incur your wrath? Did he destroy all your faux dildo vegetables?
Did you cut your hand on that tooth? Did you make him swallow it?
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-24-2008, 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
I know what you really mean -- you cannot fool a Christian!
How many helpless, gentle souls have you imprisoned inside your house? How often do you perform the "weeding" of the vegetables, sacrificing them to your Dark Master? They have a Right to Life, you awful woman!
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Not only that, Mrs. R., but look how this particular vegetable has been tarted up!
This brainless, vacuous creature is wearing nearly as much makeup as the average Miss Universe contestant, and is nearly half again as intelligent!
I wonder if this poor brain-dead beast was being used by truckers in lieu of, say, an orangutan?
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Forum Member
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Posts: 107
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: 2 Hours East of Sodom, CA
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
06-24-2008, 11:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vayhr of the Warhost
Your husband is one hell of a limp wristed wimp. What did he do to incur your wrath? Did he destroy all your faux dildo vegetables?
Did you cut your hand on that tooth? Did you make him swallow it?
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Don't be silly. That's HER. Now you know why I mistook her for a 'Brother'.
Brother Nobar is right though. I'm not here to pick up girls that charge me for "permission" to touch them.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 212
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada.
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
07-09-2008, 10:44 PM
Nobar, if you want to meet True Christian women, they'll put up with anything by a men-Remember, nobody is sure if women even have souls yet. therefore, you can easily compliment a true Christian women. Anyone who says something sassy, witty, or even says anything other than"Thank you." is not a Christian.
Repent, or be tortured in nasty ways with sharp, pointy things!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
07-09-2008, 11:12 PM
So, you recommend the quantity approach?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 212
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada.
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Re: How to meet a good Christian woman -
07-09-2008, 11:15 PM
Of course. But remember- True Christian ladies, in pubklic will not be wearing "sheer" clothing, or even t-shirts. That'll make it very easy to find a prospective wife.
Repent, or be tortured in nasty ways with sharp, pointy things!
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